A father that's never present
by The Sacred Pandapuff
Summary: How important a father actually is? And how much does it hurt when your own is long gone, with no reason known to you? Some questions can't be answered. But can Roy return Ed's trust and love for a father..? Parental!RoyEd
1. To obtain a father, give up a father

This one was actually in a way pretty hard to write. Much harder that I thought. But I think it made out pretty well. I hope you enjoy about it! 

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

_At first this was supposed to be a oneshot, so if people want to, they can still consider it as one._

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****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 1  
**__To obtain a father, give up a father_

_I bet he doesn't even remember._

Ed was not in a good mood. Usually on their birthday people just go crazy screaming out of happiness and start counting how long until that and that. Ed didn't quite do that. He had no reason. He already lived alone with Al, he couldn't care less about a car or whatever there might be for him. He was just fine the way he was.

_Oh well… maybe after a few years these damn teen-ager mood swings will go away. If these are mood swings. Most likely. But I don't think that they are completely._

The weather was good. No clouds, not cold, not hot, just warm with a fresh wind. It was like even the nature was teasing him. For him, it was just one year passed again without him getting Al's body back. Oh, he was such a loser. He had ruined everything, and it was taking an eternity to fix things. But he would do it, he wouldn't give up. Like he had given up in another thing…

_Yeah, he certainly doesn't remember. No matter where he is, there's no reason left for him to remember._

He felt dull and empty. Why was it that he had to go through these thoughts every fucking year? Wasn't it enough that that bloody bastard had abandoned them, but he had also marked him with inner scars that never truly healed? It was not fair. What had he done to deserve it? Well, he had done a lot… but just after it.

He buried his head in his arms like he always did, forcing his tears away. He was not going to cry for him. Not now, not ever. He wasn't worth it. Or maybe he was…

_Why did you go!?_

He let out a low growl. That bloody bastard. Making him like this. It was unbelievable. He wasn't supposed to have any feelings for that man. But always that same damn question in his mind… why? Had he even had a reason? A reason good enough to scar all of their lives? Did he even remember them… did he even know that… _she_ was already gone?

Now the tears were way too close for his comfort. But he couldn't stop, no matter how hard he tried. When you have a thought strong enough in your mind it won't just leave when you want it to. Those thoughts are not even supposed to go. That was what they were there for. To torture and maybe, if you let them take too strong hold on you, slowly and painfully kill you.

_You're not making me insane. You can't do that! You've already done enough, haven't you? You've taken away everything… if not directly, then at least you've evoked it. E__verything is your damn fault!_

He opened his messy hair and started slowly braiding it again. He was going to stand up strong. He was going to pull through. If not for him, then at least for Al. And if he'd ever see that bastard again, he was going to pay from all he had accused. He would make him pay… a fairly great amount. He was going to take away everything he had left.

_But still… why? Weren't we good enough for you? Weren't we what you wanted, what you dreamed about every fucking night? Wasn't it US who made you feel better when you were feeling down? Wasn't it US who always made you smile and tell how much you loved us? Then why did you just go? Why you never contacted us again?_

There were so many reasons for him to stay. But nothing to go. Absolutely nothing. Then why? WHY? He wasn't even sure if those questions were ever going to be answered. Maybe they weren't supposed to ever obtain answers, no matter how much he longed for them. And what if there weren't any reasons? What if… he had just… you know… left? Got too bored for a life with a family. His wife and two sons that always bothered him while he was trying to work. But who, still, were in a way all he had wanted.

Ed felt so damn betrayed. So damn bitter. So damn… bad. And weak. Yeah, these were the kinds of things that made him vulnerable. Physical pain didn't matter for long, he could bear with it pretty easily, but these stupid competitions with his mind, against questions that could not be answered. All the mind hurting situations, those were the ones that torn him apart. That set him on icy and tight flames that couldn't be escaped from. The flames that surrounded him, that hurt him, that made him think. Just think. About his life. And when was all this going to end or turn up better. Maybe it would become better once he obtained Al's body again. Yes, it would. That's why he couldn't give up. Otherwise, there would be no reason for him to live anymore. It was just so damn dark. The stars over his path were long gone, no light was found anymore. He just… needed Al to smile and hug him again with his own body. Maybe that would turn the lights on again.

He longed for lights. Lights that were never there, showing him where to go. He had to figure everything out by himself. But maybe that was just good. It made him grow up and become who he was. He wasn't stupid. He had gone through a lot, and now, there he was. Staring blankly at the sky, but healthy and alive. Full of determination to accomplish his goal. He was not the kind of people who didn't finish their things. Things weren't supposed to be left unfinished. Kids weren't supposed to be left alone. Adults were different. They were much more ready to the world. But kids weren't. Kids were supposed to be loved and comforted.

_Well, I was loved and comforted to one point. Then not anymore. Then I had to become an adult… much earlier than I was ready for._

He squeezed his cheeks that were turning white because of the force of his grip. He had missed a happy childhood. A bloody childhood that everyone would be allowed to have. Why the fuck didn't he get a chance to be kid since he was ready to turn an adult? Why he had to deal with everything, staying calm, trusting and respectful for people older than him, when they didn't deserve to be treated like that? Why everyone told him to put a little more faith in adults when it were them who had caused him to where he was? Why didn't anyone see his suffering?

_Well, anyway. God damn anxious birthday for me. Cheers. I hope you remember me, wherever you are. I hope you at least regret your actions. I hope you wonder what I look like now that I'm 16. How my childish figures have changed to what they are now._

People had always told him how much he looked like his parents. How he had his mother's soft features shining on his face, and how his father's golden locks and piercing golden eyes that shined in the dark, reminding everyone about a wild cat. He wasn't quite sure what to answer. Would he just stand in there and force a smile on his face, agree with all of them, or would he just say that the features were his, _his own_, it was _he_ who was standing in front of them, not his mother nor his father, it was _him._ Al always seemed proud when everyone told him how much he was like their mother. Well… Ed liked to be himself. Not anyone else. And her mother's features didn't really bother him _that_ much, but unfortunately he had his fucking golden features reminding him about his father. Every bloody time he looked at the mirror, he would remember him. Every fucking bloody time.

He felt a single salty tear run down his cheek. He didn't want to let it fall, so he just simply wiped it away. That was when he heard a worried voice behind him, a voice that made him freeze.

"Fullmetal? Edward? Is it you?"

_Aaargh, bloody colonel, why now?_

"Nope."

"So I guess it is. Your voice is a bit hoarse, are you OK?" colonel Roy Mustang asked worried while sitting next to Ed on a bench. It was an early morning and people were having vacation, so most of them were visiting their families somewhere on the countryside, so it left the streets pretty empty. Someone walked past with a dog once in a while, that was pretty much it.

"I'm fine, just a little cold."

Roy looked at the young man next to him. His eyes were dull and dark, lost in the past as he could tell and his posture looked somewhat damaged. Maybe it was because his determination seemed to be forgotten for a while. He looked just like a little child that was trying to hide from the cold and cruel world. He sighed.

"Yeah, I bet. What were you thinking?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing", Ed answered trying to keep his voice steady while the hurting thoughts were fighting their way back. God damn, not now. Not before that bloody colonel Bastard was gone.

He got up, waving his cleanly braid over his shoulder and straightening his bright red coat. "I better get going. Al's getting worried. Bye."

"Don't you run away from me while I'm trying to help."

Ed turned around disbelieving. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Don't you dare running now, things will feel better after you've talked about them." Ed could sense something soft in his colonel's attitude, but he couldn't quite replace it. Or maybe he just didn't want to.

"I have absolutely nothing to worry about. Everything is just fine, or can you affirm something else?" Ed asked, keeping all emotion away from his voice.

"Actually, I can. You're blocking out. And you're too prideful to talk about anything ever, I bet even Al doesn't know all the things that are bothering you. You know that you can tell me anything, it doesn't always have to be about a mission or something." Roy stood up and lowered his right hand on Ed's shoulder. He felt Ed flinching a few times. When Ed tried to get away, he tightened his grip and pulled Ed closer to a soft hug.

"You know that you can tell me anything."

"Let go of me. Just… let go!" The teen started wiggling and punching Roy hysterically.

"Calm down, Ed."

"LET GO OF ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!" he cried out before he let his knees fall to the ground and started sobbing. He couldn't bear with someone comforting him, it made him weaker, he hated to be weak, he just wanted to get away…

Roy sat down softly stroking Ed's hair and whispering quietly to the boy's ear while he felt Ed's hot tears on his bare skin. His subordinate must've been near to a breakdown for quite a while now that he had given up so easily.

"OK now, what's wrong, Ed?" he whispered, wiping his tears away from his swollen face.

"Let go of me. I don't need you", Ed hissed back, biting his lip and trying to get a hold of his feelings again.

OK, so, Ed still wasn't going to be an easy piece of work. At least most likely not. But maybe if he could just make him say something about it, it was going to be easier to get the rest out.

"Come on, Ed. Don't make me guess."

"If it's so important to you, be my guest. I'm not talking, let me go. Like I said, Al's waiting."

"Then Al can wait a while longer. If you're not talking to anyone about your worries, you're soon going to lose your mind."

"Then so be it." Ed was blocking out again. He was not going to tell anything to that man, he was so not going to show him how bitter he felt because of something that had happened so long ago. He wasn't going to show that it still affected his life.

"Now you're being just stupid. Look at me." Roy turned Ed's face so he could force Ed's eyes to meet his.

"No."

"And why not?"

"I'm not doing anything you want me to do. This is the last time I'm going to ask nicely, now, _let me go._" Ed forced all his anger and grudge for his father in his voice. Roy felt a cold shiver go through him, now Ed sounded very dangerous.

"Calm down, Ed. Don't do anything stupid."

It was just then when he realised a black boot hitting his face. He exclaimed out of pain and surprise while Ed quickly rolled free and started running away.

"Come back, Ed! Damn it!" He got up rubbing his now red cheek and ran after Edward, who he just then realised, was still just a kid. No matter how he was acting or how grown up he could sound sometimes while talking, he was still a kid.

A kid that had no one to support or comfort him. Hadn't had in a long time.

He lengthened his footsteps.

"EDWARD!"

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_Damn it!_

Ed was lost. That's what you get while running with no destination in a big place. Damn it, damn it, damn it!

_Oh fuck, if he's going to find me…_

He grumbled and hit a wall next to him hard with his right automail hand causing a little piece of brick fall to the ground. He forced himself to stay calm and try to find his way back. He turned around and walked some time straight, but then realised that he had no idea where he had came from and nothing around him seemed familiar.

_DAMN IT!_

"Edward!"

He turned around facing the raven haired young man again. He felt ashamed and also a little satisfied when he saw a bad looking bruise on his colonel's cheek.

"Didn't I just tell you to leave me alone?" he hissed narrowing his eyes.

"Yes. And I'm not listening."

"And why is that? Do you need a few bruises more before you'll understand?"

"You're not thinking clearly. Just tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing."

"I don't believe you."

They stood in silence for a while, Roy staring at him. Ed felt like bursting the truth out, but his pride wasn't allowing him.

"Forget your pride for once. Don't be so stubborn."

Ed just stood there. To tell, or not to tell? Oh, what a question. He wanted both. He wanted to tell everything, but also carry everything to his grave.

"Come on, Ed. Please, don't make me ask once again. I'm doing this for you."

"And why would you care?" Ed blurted out.

Roy stared the young alchemist disbelieving. "Excuse me?"

"Why do you even care about me? I'm just someone who you like to make your dirty job. I'm nothing to you." Roy could see the hurt in his eyes. He froze. Yeah, why did he care… why…?

"I don't know. But I do", he said, gritting his teeth.

"No you don't. You just don't want a toy of yours break, isn't it so? ISN'T IT?!"

"No! I… I don't know. I care about you. I can't describe it. I've never felt like this before." Roy felt like going insane. He had no idea why he cared. But he did. And it was driving him crazy.

"Felt like what?!" Fresh tears were running down his cheeks again. The weather had changed. It was dark, dark clouds everywhere; he even felt a raindrop falling to his already wet face.

"PROTECTIVE! CARING! I DON'T KNOW! OK?" Roy yelled back at him, his words smashing in Ed's consciousness, waking up some hidden memories…

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"_Daddy, what is it like to be a father?"_

"_It's complicated."_

"_What do you feel?"_

"_I… don't know. Like I said it's complicated."_

"_But you have to feel something."_

"…_Maybe… I want to protect you. I want to hug you when you're feeling bad and I want to make sure that you're safe. You're my life."_

"_Really?"_

"_Really."

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_

Ed fell back to his knees staring at Roy in disbelief. He couldn't believe it was happening. It was just a stupid dream, wasn't it?

"What!?" Roy asked frustrated. Ed couldn't do anything but just stare. He couldn't say anything, his voice was lost. Momentarily, he didn't remember how to speak. He just sat there while the rain was getting stronger.

"What?" Roy asked again. He wasn't coming closer to him, he just stood there. Then Ed got his voice back.

"Those feelings… are they… fatherly?" he whispered. Roy seemed like someone would've slapped him. Someone who he really wasn't thinking was ever going to do that.

"Excuse me?"

"ANSWER TO ME!" Roy looked at the despair in the unique golden eyes. Then something seemed to click.

"I… I guess so."

"Don't guess! Give a real answer for even once!"

"I've never felt like this before, so it's a little hard to say!"

They stared at each others once again. Both realising feelings for each others that they haven't noticed before. Then Ed slowly got up.

"Ed…"

Ed walked slowly to him and hugged him tightly. This was not the action Roy was waiting for. He was waiting for a big slap and hurt in his eyes.

"You know… that my father left when I was little", Ed whispered vulnerably.

"Yes…"

"I never really got over it." Roy felt Ed's grip tighten even more if possible. He hugged him back.

"Is that why you're feeling bad."

"Yeah…"

And then they sat there together in silence, in the violent cloudburst, until the sun came back in their blurred vision causing a rainbow show up with it's magical power of making the children on the streets laugh and smile. And it also made a certain teenager smile weakly in the arms of his new "so called father."

Like father, like son.

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Now, tell me your opinion. I know the ending sounds a little rushed... but I actually got busy. My sister's screaming that I have to go and feed our cats.

REVIEW! I love reviews!


	2. Nightmares

Weird. I decided to continue. I'm not sure If I'm still going to continue it, _maybe._ But I'm not promising anything.  
I hope this chapter doesn't ruin the fic. The first chapter was much better in my opinion. 

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

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**A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 2  
**__Nightmares_

Roy woke up because of a dumb moan that was coming from the room next to his. He sighed when he recognised the young teen's voice. It wasn't the first time. Ed had lived now in his apartment for a month and this kind of stuff seemed to happen every now and then. It was like a penalty for all the good stuff he had obtained. Equivalent exchange.

He slowly got up and grabbed his morning gown while wandering towards the door. He heard another moan, a little louder this time. There were no words, just moans. Like always. Ed wasn't the type of people who spoke while asleep.

_At the moment I would prefer him talking in his sleep… things would be way easier to figure out._

He opened the young alchemist's door silently and sat on his knees next to Ed's bed. Ed was trembling and his face was in an agony state. He gently laid his hand next to Ed's head. Now he just had to wake him up.

"Wake up, Ed", he whispered on the boy's ear. It was like this always. It had happened like… six times already? Oh god, six times in a month. He had no idea how he had got up every time. And maybe there were times he didn't even know about? He wouldn't be surprised. The boy often seemed really tired.

Now there was a whine as an answer. Roy sighed. "Come on. Get up." He stroked the open long golden hair. It was amazing how his hair seemed to glow in the dark. He had never seen anything like it before. It seemed and felt so warm, unlike his cold-looking pale face.

_He'__s so pale, he looks like he's sick. Maybe milk would help? I'll try to make him drink it. But I don't honestly think I'll manage to do it…_

Ed woke up and immediately sat straight up in his bed. He was sweating and breathing heavily. He pinched his sheets and took a look at the room he was in.

"Are you alright?" Roy asked, pulling Ed's hair back while the kid seemed to fight his tears back.

"Damn it… a stupid nightmare again…" Ed snarled his voice quiet and hoarse. He buried his face in his hands, the cold metal arm cooling him down a little.

"It's OK, Ed; it's OK to cry if you feel like it."

_Why don't you cry? Why don't you show how you feel, why are you blocking out? Is it your way to protect yourself?_

"I don't." Ed gritted his teeth. His face was slowly getting more colour. He seemed to get a hold of his feelings again. For the next ten minutes he would have that blank expression on his face again, like always. Then he would start relaxing again. At least that happened almost every time.

For the past month Roy had just tried to be there for him, let him try to find protection. Unfortunately, the kid, though he had loosened up for a little, was still incredibly stubborn.

Sometimes it was hard for him to handle. Ed had being on his own for too long for his own good. He hadn't got used to telling anyone anything, or letting anyone worry about him. Of course, people had worried about him, and they still did, but he had been, and he still was, trying to make them not to. He just didn't seem to realise that worrying was their way to show how much they cared about him. For Ed it seemed to be almost like a bad thing and Roy had tried to explain him that it certainly wasn't, but the kid hadn't really got it. What a shame.

"You seem like crying would help you get the pressure away for a while", Roy whispered hugging the kid gently. He had noticed how much Ed really liked being held. It was the thing that relaxed him, that confronted him, that made him act so much like a little kid. Which he still was, somewhere deep inside.

"No… bastard… I hate you", Ed wailed, tears running down his cheeks. Bingo.

"Why are you still calling me a bastard while I'm trying to help you?" Roy asked offended.

"I don't need help… I-I don't need you!" Ed was being difficult again. Roy knew that he didn't really mean the things he was saying, because Ed really did need him. Ed had needed a father-figure in his life for years, and now that he had it, he was definitely softer. He wasn't so cold anymore. Though, he had started crying and having nightmares more.

_I wonder why he has nightmares. Everything seems to be so great, except__ for them. Damn it. Is a happy son too much for me to ask? Or is this a test? Is this just a test about that can I take care of him? If it is, it's a very mean one._

Roy rubbed Ed's back softly. "Shh. Don't freak out, I know you haven't got used to this, and I understand why. You're still stuck with your own father, aren't you?"

"…N-no! I… I hate him! I can't stand him! Don't talk to me about him!" Ed felt dullness rising up in his chest. The tears were burning his again swollen face. He sniffed. "Can you give me a hanky?"

Roy took a hanky out of his pocket, handling it to Ed. He was always carrying one with, just in case. Mostly just in Ed's case.

Ed took the hanky thankfully. Roy got up.

"I'm getting some water for you."

"Thanks…"

Ed watched Roy leaving the room. He was so grateful; he just couldn't find a way to show it. And it hurt him. It hurt him to look like he didn't care, while he did. It hurt him to see the older man, the one who he had considered as a father for a good time now, looking sad and unappreciated. Because it wasn't the way it was.

_If I would just be able to tell how I feel… If I would just be able to show him how much he means to me, that I don't want him to disappear. That I want him to be here for the rest of my life._

He wiped his tears away and whimpered. Why was everything so damn difficult? Al was visiting Winry and aunt Pinako, so Ed couldn't even ask any advice. He was sure that Al could help him. But now he just had to wait. Just a week more…

_Damn it, Al, why are you away always when I need you? You're much better than me in stuff like this.__ Why didn't I ask him earlier? Oh yeah, I was too stubborn, that's why. How stupid can I be!?_

He closed his eyes and listened his own breathing. It relaxed him. To know that he was alive and he still had time. He had time to fix things. Sooner better.

He opened his eyes and saw a glass of water just in front of his face.

_Oh shit, that was scary! He didn't make any kind of sound! He should make voices… just for me to know when he's here and… and when he's not. When he goes. When he fucking goes and leaves me… I want to hear him._

"Thirsty?" Roy asked sleepily. Oh damn it, he even ruined the man's sleep with his fucking nightmares.

"Thanks… you sound tired, maybe you should go back to bed. I'm OK." He made an exhausted smile and sipped some water.

Roy took a close look at Ed. He was starting to look healthy and alright again. But he hadn't told was his nightmare was about. It hurt Roy to see his son suffering. Yes, Ed was his son. Not biologically, but anyway. He considered Ed as his very own son. A son he never had. He had always wanted a son. Now he had one. And he was so not letting him go.

"I'll stay a while longer. So, your nightmare… what was it like?"

Ed didn't turn to look at him. "A nightmare."

"Ed…" Roy sighed. Yes, AGAIN.

"You asked me what was it like, and I answered. It was just like a nightmare."

"Well, what was in your nightmare?"

"Why do you insist knowing everything?! Damn it, can't you just leave it, OK?"

"If I know what your nightmares are about, then it'll be easier for me to comfort you. And I want to know, as a father I have the right to know."

They sat in silence for a while. Roy let his words sink in Ed's mind.

_I wonder if he's letting it out. I hope he does, I just want to help. He's a naughty piece of work… Never opens up. Every time the same thing, he never lets anyone in. I intend to change that. I want him to know that he can tell me absolutely _anything. _That's what I'm here for. It's just sometimes so fucking hard…_

"It's always the same one. It's like… I don't know. There are like… flashes. Memories, and then things that haven't happened. Things I fear…" Ed shrugged and sniffed. Roy put his hand on the boy's shoulder, giving him a moment before he would continue.

_He talks. Oh god, he talks!_

"At first… I see my father. You know, all the stuff when I was little. And then… I… -I see him leaving and mum crying. And then I see her dying, and the funeral and Al and the transmutation and all." At that point a pained expression rose to Ed's face. Roy entwined his arms around the boy.

Next words Ed hardly managed to scream while he was sobbing loudly. "And then I see you! I see how good you've been for me and all and then… Then you go as well! I- I see you going and leaving me alone again! Every single time I'm crying and begging you to stay… but you say that you don't care about me anymore. You say that I don't matter anymore, that I'm just a stupid kid who can't even stop crying and accept his faith… And then there's nothing… there's nothing but the cold rain…"

Ed lay limp, sobbing, weeping and whining on his lap, his face buried in his chest, hands pressing his night-shirt. He seemed so vulnerable and scared that Roy was absolutely shocked. Nothing like this had happened before, he could never even imagine leaving Ed and there he was, holding him stiffly like an idiot just after Ed had confessed how much he feared for it.

_Shit… I'm the one causing him nightmares! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. What should I say? Haven't I showed him how much I love him? Am I a bad father..? __Oh god, I'm such a horrible father. My son doesn't even know how much I care about him!_

"I'm not going to leave you. Not now, not ever. You don't have to worry about it", he whispered sadly rubbing Ed's back.

"He said so too before he left!" Ed moaned pathetically. He sounded hysteric.

_Of course he's hysteric! He's afraid of being left alone again, losing his father again! That bastard really has ruined his life… He has taken all his faith in a father away. And now, my job is getting it back. Easier said than done. Damn it. If I'll ever see that man, he's going to get a military ride in a hospital!_

"I don't know what he was like, and I have no idea why he left, but I'm not going to abandon you. I couldn't even if I would have to. Not even if my life would depend on it."

Ed sat up again and grabbed the glass of water from the little night table next to his bed and sipped again. His face was red and more swollen that Roy had ever seemed it to be.

"Sorry for my breakdown. I just hate these nightmares…"

"And you have all the rights to hate them. That's why nightmares exist… we have to see what we are afraid of and things that are important to us. They are driving people crazy… people who can't fight against them. You just have to live happily and not let anything upset you too greatly. You have to solve the things that are hindering your mind."

Ed thought about his words. They seemed to make sense. But he could never get all the things solved…

"It's just so damn hard!"

"I know. Trust me. You can always tell me anything. If you block everything in, it'll just make it worse."

"…I… I've just wanted to tell you that… even when it doesn't seem like it I… I really care about you. You're my father. I just want you to know that. I'm not good at putting it in words, but you got the idea, right?" Ed whispered.

Roy smiled to Ed. "I already figured that out."

"Oh… good…" Ed blushed.

Roy looked at the clock on the wall. Damn it, already 3 a.m. He was supposed to be at work at 8 o'clock.

_Argh, Hawkeye is going to shoot me if won't be able to do all the work._

"Well, if you don't mind, I'll go back to bed or I won't have enough energy to today's paperwork."

"Yeah… sorry for keeping you awake."

"Don't worry, it was my choice. Are you going to be OK? Can you sleep?" he asked worryingly while standing up.

"I guess so. I feel a lot better… and tired like hell." Ed grinned. There were dark circles under his red and puffy eyes.

"Then you better sleep as well."

"I will. Good night."

Roy walked to the door and turned to take a look at the young teen. He saw him closing his eyes and turning against the wall curling up like a cat.

"Sweet dreams son."

Ed didn't even open his eyes, he just grunted. "See you at morning, dad."

When Roy closed the door and headed back to his room, he could feel a wide smile rising on his face. Someone had called him dad. _Ed _had called him dad.

He really did have a son. A son he loved dearly.

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Oww, I just love Parental!RoyEd. It's so great to write.  
Now, review, please! Everyone! Tell me if this sucked terribly... 


	3. No matter how much I want to

Now, here comes the third chapter. I don't think it rocks... not at all. I'll try to update soon again, and I'll try to get the next chapter better! It's much easier to write oneshots...

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

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****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 3  
**__No matter how much I want to_

"Wake up, Ed."

Ed turned away from the voice and growled. He didn't like mornings. Roy was always waking him up way too early. Oh god, people should be able to sleep over midday! He should make an application.

_I'm not getting up. No matter what he says, I won't get up. __This is worse than the nightmare… OK, IT ISN'T! Rather this than that nightmare. But now I was having a good dream… I'm so not getting up._

"Come on, breakfast's ready. If you don't come now, I won't leave you anything."

"That's mean, you bastard…" Ed whimpered while rubbing his eyes. That was the time when Roy decided to open the curtains.

"AARGH! THE LIGHT!"

"That's dramatic. Get up."

"CAN'T YOU EVEN LET ME GET UP BEFORE OPENING THE CURTAINS!?"

"No, because if I don't open them, you'll just go back to sleep as always. I got to get to work in two hours, so I don't have time for that", Roy answered matter-of-factly. Ed seemed absolutely furious for him so he decided that it was his turn to run. "I'll be in the kitchen. Hurry up."

Ed snarled as the man left him alone in the room. He got up slowly and dressed up in his usual clothes: leather pants, brown belt, black tank-top and jacket. He didn't braid his hair just yet, he would have time to do it later.

He grabbed his red coat with him as he headed to the kitchen.

_There better be a lot of good food… or someone's going to have a black eye. And that someone is not me.

* * *

_

Roy was putting plates on the table. It was still weird to serve breakfast for two. He hadn't done that a lot before Ed, a few times for a beautiful lady who had… err… stayed over night. But now there wasn't a lady, now there was Ed. His son. Who happened to eat a lot more than any lady he had met, and he had met a bunch of them.

Roy sighed. He didn't remember when he had been flirting to someone the last time. Before Ed moved in, that's right. Over a month without any female company was very unusual for him. But he didn't actually regret it. A lot.

_Ed is worth it. It's funny… I would rather choose a son than a woman! And a difficult son for this point. There must be something wrong, something I don't know about… or it can just be his age. It's a difficult age. 16. I remember being a nightmare myself when I was 16… though I don't think I was that difficult._

When he was putting milk and orange juice on the table Ed stepped in. He seemed pretty sulky. Like every morning.

Ed sat in the chair and poured juice in his glass. Roy sat down on his seat while grabbing the milk.

"You should drink milk. It would be good for you."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DUST THAT CAN BE EASILY SWEAPT AWAY IF IT DOESN'T DRINK MILK AND GET STRONGER TO PROTECT ITSELF!?!"

_OK, so as I guessed, it wasn't an easy task to get him drink milk. I should've guessed that we would end up in a fight. Maybe I should just give up for a while._

"I said nothing like that. You should stop overreacting", Roy said while he got himself a fried egg.

"You should stop calling me small!"

"I didn't call you small."

"You referred to it!" Ed gritted his teeth with a loud crack that made Roy wonder if he finally managed to break them.

"OK, don't drink it then and face the consequences. You do know that milk contains a lot of things that are important to people."

"I don't care. I'm just fine the way I am."

They sat in silence for a while. Roy was just lost in his thoughts and Ed was too busy eating than paying any attention to any kind of conversation. Roy had given up with breakfast talk a long time ago. It was like talking to himself.

Ed was finally finished after four plates full of food. He got up and headed back to his room.

"What are you planning to do today?" Roy asked while putting the dishes in the sink.

"Nothing, really. Just get bored like always", Ed answered. He was smiling sadly.

"Maybe you could visit the library."

"Already done that. There's nothing that I would want to read… I can't find anything about the philosopher's stone. There hasn't been any kind of clues in two months now. It's frustrating, really."

Roy walked with Ed in the corridor. The kid seemed depressed. He knew that the lack of the clues was a hard hit under Ed's belt. There just simply hadn't been any. It was almost amazing… Usually there were very little clues here and there, and now all that they had found were absolutely rubbish. Like some weird sea monster had ate a big crimson red stone that it had found on the beach. Who the heck would believe anything like that? Nerve of some people for lying that badly.

"Maybe you could visit the Head Quarters." It would be nice to have Ed around and they were honestly all sinking in the paperwork. A few military buildings on the other cities had burned down and they were now forcing his group to do all the work. He knew that he couldn't put Ed actually doing the paperwork, but he would be very valuable bringing them to the right people.

"Wouldn't I be just on the way?" Ed asked sadly opening his room's simple oak door.

"You could help a little."

"Hmm… maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Better there than here alone. I'll come." Ed smiled and stepped in his room eyeing for his hairbrush.

"Good. Be ready in an hour", Roy smiled back at him and headed towards the shower.

Ed grabbed his hairbrush and started brushing his hair. It was a difficult task, his hair just didn't like to obey him. When he was ready he braided it. Like always… he didn't like to keep it freely because it seemed to always get in his way. And he didn't want to keep it in a usual ponytail, because it reminded him about… him. Oh god, he was starting it again.

_How can I still long for that bastard when I have Roy? Roy's much better. He cares about me. He did too, but he left a long time ago, I'm not his responsibility anymore. Then why would I still want to be..?_

He sighed heavily and threw his hairbrush on the other side of the room with force. It hit the wall with a loud knock that Roy fortunately couldn't hear while showering. Ed's mind had been wandering around his biological father a lot more after he had moved in with Roy. Maybe it was because he felt like having a father again. He felt like having a family again. And it scared him.

_What, am I scared? Now that's ridiculous. I'm ridiculous… I can't be scared. I should be happy. I should… but why am I not?_

He tried to clear his mind again. Was it always going to be like this? Why he couldn't let go of the past and move on just laughing out of joy? Roy was nothing like his father. Then why he couldn't trust him?

He smiled sadly. He was slowly ruining his own chance for a happy life and he knew it.

* * *

At half eight Roy was pulling his military jacket on and waiting for Ed. He hadn't seen him after breakfast. It was unusual, but it had happened a few times before. So he wasn't exactly worried.

"Ed, we got to get going. It's a long way to walk", he called for the teen. Just then he heard a door open on the corridor.

"I'm coming."

Roy opened the door and waited for Ed to come out as well before closing and locking it. Then they walked for the streets.

They walked in silence for fifteen minutes and Roy was getting worried. Ed usually talked a lot. Maybe it was because of his nightmare. He felt like sighing but he didn't. They would have to talk things through.

"OK, what's wrong, Ed. The nightmare?"

Ed aroused and looked at the ground with wide eyes. His steps were stiff.

"Like I've told you hundreds of times, you need to talk about things. You can't keep it all in."

"I know you're worried. But there's nothing wrong."

_Why he's always fighting against everyone's help? He's killing himself. He's forcing himself to face everything alone. Maybe he's not only lying to me, maybe he's lying to himself as well. I wouldn't be surprised. And that's a hard thing to fix. Why did I ever get into this? Oh yeah, I started caring about him. I guess it can't be helped._

He would just want to help. He would just want to feel like he was accepted. Though he knew that he was, sometimes it just didn't feel like it. Being called a bastard a fairly good amount of times in a day wasn't helping the situation at all.

Ed was letting his mind wander. He didn't do that a lot around other people, but somehow he felt comfortable doing it when he was with Roy.

_If I feel comfortable, then why I don't feel like I'm doing the right thing having him as my father?

* * *

_

Riza raised his head when she heard the door open. She smiled when she saw colonel Mustang arriving with Edward. She got up of his chair and nodded her head.

"Welcome to work, sir. I already put the papers on your desk."

"Thanks, Riza…" Roy mumbled without meaning his words. He hated paperwork.

Ed laid down on the sofa, closing his eyes. He was exhausted because of the little sleep he had had last night. Maybe he should take a nap.

"Ed, I didn't bring you in here so you could just go back to sleep… especially on my sofa."

Ed groaned but didn't react in any other way. Riza raised her eyebrows.

"You took him in here? Sorry, sir, I don't get it. How could you take him in with you?"

"Oh, sorry Riza, I must've forgotten to mention you that Ed's been living with me for a month now."

"And that month has been like a nightmare", Ed snarled.

"Like a nightmare you happened to have last night?" Roy grinned. He just loved teasing the boy, especially at work. It was like a habit.

"That was mean", Ed whispered when he finally stood up. His eyes were cold and hurt.

Riza couldn't help but stared at the two of them. It was all just so confusing. Ed living with Roy? What the heck was going on?

Roy lowered his head and sighed. "Sorry, Ed, I didn't really mean it."

_Great. Now I made him upset. This isn't working… but I'm not giving up. I'll make it work. But at the moment it isn't going great._

"I'll go and see if someone needs my help", Ed said and started walking towards the door, his shoulder's trembling a little.

"Ed, I'm sorry." He really meant it.

But the door was already closed.

Riza walked in front of him.

"And now you're going to tell everything starting from the beginning without leaving anything out. Understood?" She had her gun in her hand. Roy couldn't help but to swallow and tell everything.

* * *

_Shit with him… shit with his words… SHIT WITH ALL!_

Ed was a several hours later sitting in a cafeteria.

_He has no idea… he has no idea what it's like! Just making a joke about it… not funny at all. I'm sick of it. If he wants me to trust him, he has to be worth it. And at the moment he isn't. At the moment he's just a piece of shit. A stinky one._

"Hey, Ed! Haven't seen you in a while!" Ed heard a cheerful voice behind him. He recognized it even without looking. Hughes.

"Hey…"

"May I join you? And have you already seen this picture of my cute little Elysia? She had birthday six weeks ago! I don't remember seeing you at the party." He sat towards Ed waving a picture. Wow, A picture. Not a bunch of them.

"Sorry, I wasn't in the mood", he answered honestly.

"Hey, didn't you also have birthday then? Whoopsie, I totally forgot. How old are you now?"

"16…"

"That's a difficult age."

"I guess so…" Ed sipped his orange juice. Hughes took a close look at him. He knew that Ed was living with Roy, and he knew Roy's fatherly feelings for Ed. He had heard their quick fight back at the morning and of course, freaked out. He had immediately walked in Roy's office telling him not to upset kids if he wanted to gain their trust and love. Or that was his plan, but after seeing Hawkeye he had decided to come back later. So, an hour late Roy had finally got his lesson.

"He's really sorry, you know."

"Do you mean Roy?"

"Yes. He's really upset. Maybe you should go there and solve things out with him."

"No… not now at least."

"Why?" Hughes asked shocked. Ed had a weird look on his face, a look that didn't suit him. He couldn't name it.

"I don't know. I think I need some time to solve some things out. I feel kind of lost."

"Lost?"

"You know… I don't know what's right and what I want. Everything's so weird. And hard. I don't think I'm ready just yet."

_I don't think I'll ever be ready… I don't know. No matter how much I want to._

Hughes stared at Ed. He seemed sorrowful and lost. A lost kid. Like he had said himself.

"And why aren't you ready? Don't you want to give another chance to a father? We can be good, you know. We can be good and really important."

Ed whimpered. "Everyone expects me to know what I want. Everyone expects me to give trust for them, even when they haven't showed that they deserve it. How can everyone expect me to do and know everything?!"

"I don't know… But I think you should give him a chance. Not only because of him, but also because of you."

Ed smiled without any feeling as he emptied his glass.

"The funniest thing is that no matter how much I want to have a father that I can trust, I can't seem to bring myself up for it. I trusted him at first, I trusted him blindly. Then after a while had passed, I became paranoid. I became fucking paranoid. I just can't trust anyone I consider as a father."

Hughes watched Ed lay some money on the table and got up. He seemed depressed.

"I just can't do it. I wish you could understand… all of you."

And with that he walked away. Hughes could swear that he heard one only sob as the kid vanished in the public.

"That bastard really ruined his life…"

* * *

Oww, can they make Ed trust a father-figure again? You'll find out... err... some day.

Review! And thanks for everyone who have reviewed so far, it's been really amazing!


	4. The golden key

Haa, I updated. I love the beginnig of this chapter... I had tears in my eyes!

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

**

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 4  
**__The golden key_

Roy staggered to his apartment door. He had had a talk with Maes Hughes just after the incident between Hughes and Ed. And hearing about their conversation really upset him. It really did. He had been drinking for a few hours in a pub nearby and he was feeling very drunk. Because he was. It was already midnight, and if Ed had gone home he should be in now. Or otherwise he wasn't. At least the kid had a key.

Roy walked in and continued staggering to his sofa where he finally let his feel sunk as he fell on it. That was when he heard a quiet voice coming from the dark corner. There was a figure who's golden eyes glowed in the dark, definitely as sad as his were.

"You've been drinking."

It was a simple remark. But it hided a bunch of feelings in it. Roy knew it. Though Ed wasn't able to trust him, he trusted the kid almost blindly. And he knew the kid. Of course there was a lot of stuff that he didn't know, that he wasn't even able to guess. But some things were easy to see.

Ed walked to the kitchen and Roy heard him taking a glass and filling it with water. How was the kid able to just calmly take care of him when he didn't even trust him? When he didn't even want to have a father? Was it because of the guilt? The guilt for leading him in the wrong thought? Guilt for making him think that it would've worked out?

"Drink", Ed said blankly as he handed the glass over. After that he took a few steps back and just stood there stiffly.

Roy drank the water without thanking. Without any words. No insults, no praises. Just the cold silence for his part. Telling the kid how disappointed and hurt he was. Ed started shivering, but his expression didn't change. He just was there. Like a ghost. No, not like a ghost. Ghosts weren't just staring blankly.

"Right now you remind me about my real father. When he and mum had a fight he ended up drinking. Not at home, of course. But I can still remember hearing him coming home and the smell of alcohol. Luckily they didn't fight a lot. I hate the smell."

Roy didn't even look at the boy. He could sense the bitter and disappointment from his side as well. They just were there for a while. Then Ed lowered his head and fell for his knees next to the sofa.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I know that I hurt you, but I want you to understand that I didn't intend to do it. I didn't know that it was going to end up like this. I really didn't. It hurts me as well."

His voice was silent and hoarse. Roy noticed that the usual glitter in his eyes was gone. His eyes were just anguished. But it didn't help the situation. It didn't change anything.

"Why don't you say anything? Why don't you do anything? You have that look on your face… I hate that look. It's just like his when he left. You're leaving me, aren't you?"

Roy was shocked seeing the teen's eyes filling with tears. He had buried his head in his hands and Roy could hear silent sobbing. Then Ed stood up.

"As this is your home, at this time I guess you're not leaving yourself. You're planning kicking me out, aren't you?" Ed was trembling; his tears were falling on the ground. It hurt Roy to see him like that, but he couldn't bear seeing the kid anyway. The kid he had considered as a son of his own. A kid, who just couldn't feel the same way, no matter how much he had tried. He had really thought about this in the pub. Kicking Ed out. Or not actually, kicking, just telling him to leave. It seemed like Ed could read him as well.

Ed read the answer from his face. He swallowed hard, his crying increasing. Ed didn't let out any voice, like he usually did. Now he just stood there crying silently.

"I – I'll go and get my stuff."

With that Ed slowly walked in his room. Roy just lay there. His mind was empty.

_So… this is how it ends.__ I suffered and enjoyed all that time. And this is how it ends. Both knowing that it won't work out. Knowing it just wasn't the way things were supposed to be. God, it hurts._

Roy felt a hot tear on his cheek. Since when did he cry? Since when? He hadn't cried in years. He didn't even remember the last time he had cried. He hadn't cried even when a beautiful woman that he had really fallen for had left him. So why did he cry now?

Ed didn't spend more than a few seconds in his room.

_He must've seen this coming. He must've packed already._

He heard Ed walking with his bag to his front door. Then he stopped.

"Maybe it is better this way. If you really would've cared for me, you would've never let me go. You would've never stopped trying."

The words penetrated in Roy's head. He almost believed them. Almost.

Then he heard the door open.

"I'm sorry."

Then the door closed. He knew he was alone once again. He knew it was the best for both of them. Or at least he thought so.

He laid there for an half an hour. His mind was empty. No thoughts. Not any kind of. Then he stood up and walked slowly in Ed's old room.

He looked out of the window and saw the raven sky crying as well.

Then he looked at the table.

There was a golden key. Ed's key in his apartment.

"What have I done…?" he asked himself quietly and started crying harder.

* * *

The phone was ringing.

"Ughh…" Hughes muttered as he stood up.

"Who's calling at this time? Their waking Elysia up…" his wife complained silently.

"Just go back to sleep. I'll get it."

_The caller is going to have one of my famous knifes in his or her throat before next night._

The phone was still ringing.

"Maes Hughes on the phone", he muttered sleepily.

"Maes… I think I just made the biggest mistake in my life."

Suddenly Hughes was completely awake. Something was wrong. Roy sounded like he'd been crying.

"Roy, what did you do?"

There was a silence.

"Where's Ed?"

The silence continued. It was like Roy was too sad to talk. But Hughes understood him even without words.

"Don't say that you kicked him out…"

"I'm sorry." Roy's voice was dumb. "I regret it. I don't know what I was doing… I had been drinking and then he just… he just was there and it felt like the right thing to do. I couldn't bear seeing him and thinking that he couldn't think about me as a father." Then Hughes heard a sob.

"He never said so."

"What?"

"He never said that he couldn't think about you as a father. He just said that he couldn't trust in anyone who he considered as a father. That means he really did care about you that way."

"I have to find him. Please… help me find him."

"I will. I'll come in there and then we'll go looking for him. OK?"

"Thank you Maes… I owe you two now…"

"You don't owe me anything. Friends help. It's their responsibility. I'll be there soon."

He ended the call.

"What have you done, Roy…"

* * *

After ten minutes Roy heard the doorbell ring. He immediately opened the door.

"You look bad. Maybe you should wash your face first."

"Maes… thanks for coming."

_Thanks for always being here for me when I need you._

"Wash your face so we can start looking for him", Hughes said guiding Roy in his kitchen sink that was the closest. "It's cold and it's dark. And there can be any kind of people on the streets as well. The military dorms are closed at this time, so he can't go in there. And he didn't come in my place. I don't think he knows any other place where he could stay in Central."

Roy wailed. "Don't say he's somewhere there sitting in the rain. He hates the rain."

_I threw you in the cold rain… I threw you alone in this cold world. I should be the one protecting you and here we are. Here I am. I'm such a horrible father, no wonder you can't trust the people you consider as your father's. You've had two now… both leaving you when you needed us the most._

_I'm so sorry, Ed._

_I'm so sorry, son.

* * *

_

"Ed..!"

There was no answer. It had been like this for an hour now. It was two o'clock. Roy was worrying like hell.

"Ed… Please, answer!"

"Maybe he just haven't heard us", Hughes pointed out, his hand on his friends shoulder.

"Or maybe he has, but just hadn't wanted to see me. He has all rights for that…" He sniffed. Oh god, he missed Ed so much already.

They kept walking. They went everywhere, just looking and yelling his name. Then they arrived to the train station.

There was a small boy sitting in the rain on one of the many benches, his arms curled around his feet and his face buried deep in his thigs.

"ED!" Roy yelled and ran to him.

"Stay away", Ed hissed, not even raising his head.

"Please, forgive me Ed, I didn't know what I was thinking. I'm really sorry. And I mean it", Roy pleaded. He was getting desperate.

"I don't care. Don't come near to me."

Roy stood there. He didn't dare getting closer to the boy. He could hear a warning and dangerous shade in Ed's voice. It was stronger than ever before.

"WHY DID YOU STILL DO IT, EVEN KNOWING HOW MUCH I FEARED FOR IT!? WHY DID YOU DO IT!?"

Hughes reached them, Ed's words flowing in the air. Both men were clueless what they could say that Ed would ever be able to forgive Roy.

"I'm sorry, Ed. I wasn't thinking clearly", Roy whispered.

"YOU WEREN'T THINKING CLEARLY, EH?! THEN YOU'D JUST BETTER GET TO HELL!"

Even though Roy didn't see Ed's face, he could tell that he was crying.

_I've just let down the person I care about the most._

Roy walked to Ed and hugged him, Ed immediately responding with a fist. Roy managed to grab it before it hit his face. Then he grabbed the other fist that was directed towards his stomach. He saw Hughes standing still, watching. Trying to figure out if his help was needed.

Ed kicked and wriggled furiously. Holding him still in his arms wasn't an easy task.

"LET GO OF ME, YOU BASTARD, YOU BLOODY, FUCKING, COLONEL BASTARD!"

"I won't."

"AND WHY NOT!? DON'T ACT LIKE YOU CARE WHEN YOU DON'T!"

"I do care. You said that if I really would've cared for you, I would've never let you go or stopped trying. I'm not going to let go or stop trying. I'm never going to."

Ed cried in his lap. He looked so vulnerable that it hurt Roy.

_And it's me who got him in that state. It's all my fault. I would've never let him go. I would've never made him leave. It's all my fault._

_  
_"I'm sorry", he said feeling tears filling his eyes as well.

Hughes smiled. Now his problem would be just getting the two of them back to home.

* * *

Happy ending for this chapter as well. Well, now Roy has let Ed down. Is it still possible to return Ed's faith in a father after his big mistake?

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Don't be shy!


	5. Fever and the lost trust

Hey, guess what? I UPDATE NOW! HAA! I've been writing the whole morining... this was a naughty piece of work... hopely next chappy will be easier.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. This is like a routine, you know.****

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 5  
**__Fever and the lost trust_

All three of them had been tired like hell. They barely managed to stand on their feet… or actually barely the two of them did, Ed had lost all his will and energy for moving. It gave them a little trouble.

"We have to get out of this cold rain, Roy. We'll get sick. And his soaking wet."

"And how do you suggest that we'll manage to do that? Are you saying that I have to carry him?" Roy sighed. He was so tired.

_Well, I was the one who got us in this situation. So it's my responsibility… He's my responsibility. _

Ed was sitting half asleep on the bench. It was cold. Very cold. It had been this cold for him for two hours now. Cold everywhere… freezing wind, freezing raindrops. Freezing air. Everything was so cold around him… and inside as well.

_I'm incredibly lucky if I'm not sick. But I don't think I have many chances for __being healthy…_

Then he felt someone's soft arms lifting him in the air. He moaned.

Roy was surprised. Ed was heavy considering how little he was… But maybe it was because of his automail. It must be tiring carrying steel everywhere. And now that he paid attention in it he realised that his metal arm and leg were freezing cold. They would have to get Ed in a warm place quickly.

"Let's go."

* * *

Roy opened his apartment's door ten minutes later. Luckily he didn't live to far from the train station.

Ed had fallen asleep during their journey. Roy was worried.

"I have to go home, Roy. Are you two OK?"

Roy didn't turn his eyes away from Ed. He laid the kid on the couch and immediately regretted his action. Now the couch was wet as well.

"We'll be OK."

Maes still stood in front of the door watching his friend. These kinds of events were new for him… He had never seen Roy like that. And he had never seen Ed like that. And he knew both of them very well, he had been there for both of them when they had needed him.

"Take care of him. But take care of yourself as well."

Roy turned to Maes and smiled sadly. "I'll do my best."

Then he left. He had his own family waiting for him at home.

* * *

Ed woke up at the morning moaning for his discomfort. It was so cold. He could feel a wet rag on his forehead. It also covered his eyes. He didn't like the feeling.

"So you're awake at last."

Ed shivered. He still hadn't forgiven Roy. It wasn't easy to forgive an action like the one he had done. He wasn't sure when he would be able to forgive, if he even was.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?" Roy asked sadly.

_And he has a reason. Can I ever gain his trust? I wouldn't be surprised if I wouldn't. I've screwed everything up. God, how stupid can a man be…_

"What else would you expect?" Ed groaned back. He curled up. He felt warmer and more comfortable that way.

"Here's water."

Ed grabbed the glass and emptied it quickly. Then he putted it on his night table. He didn't thank Roy.

He heard the man yawn.

"Go and sleep. You don't have to waste your time in here."

_I wonder if he has gotten any sleep last night._

"My time's not getting wasted. I want to take care of you." He smiled. Ed just wanted to punch him, but he didn't want to come out of his curled position.

"Just go. I can't sleep while you're staring at me. It feels uncomfortable."

_He feels uncomfortable. Nothing fits anymore._

Roy looked at the floor. "Are you sure? Do you want anything?"

"I'm sure and I need nothing but sleep. Absolutely nothing else. Oh, I do need something. I need you out of here. Understood?"

Roy stood up. "I'll be back later."

"Don't bother." Ed gritted his teeth.

Then he heard the door getting closed.

* * *

_Don't you just get it? Don't you just get how much I love you? Of course you don't. After everything he must wonder if I'm just acting. But I'm not. I mean everything. Well, not everything, I didn't mean to kick him out, it just… happened. And it might've ruined everything. I can't even let go, I can't let go of him. __He's my son, and I need him. And he needs me. But why is everything just so hard?_

Roy couldn't sleep. He hadn't slept in 25 hours. And that was a lot. He would expect that he would just immediately fall asleep, but he didn't. He had taken this day off of work, he needed to rest and take care of Ed. Ed…

_Why do I always have to ruin everything!?"_

He could hear Ed's movements in the other side of the wall. He could hear him. And he was sure that the kid wasn't asleep either.

_He must feel really betrayed… really god damn betrayed._

He squeezed his blankets.

_And it's my fault.

* * *

_

_I hate fathers._

Ed pulled the blanket all over him.

_I fucking hate fathers. They just bring troubles and hurt. They aren't worth anything._

The air under his blanket was getting hot and a little hard to breathe, but Ed didn't bother changing the air just now.

_AND HOW CAN PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO WANT A FATHER ANYWAY!?_

He felt bad. Really bad. He didn't cry, though. His was too confused and lost to even remember how to cry.

_I need to get out of this situation. I need to leave. When I get better, I'm going to Resembool with Al. And Winry. I don't care if I'll get with that wrench of hers, I just need to get out. I need Al. He's my family… nobody else._

Now he had to pull the blankets in the air for a while. He waited for the air to change before he covered himself with it again.

_I want to go home…

* * *

_

Ed woke up. He didn't remember when he had fallen asleep. But apparently he had, considering the fact that he had just woken up. Woken up to the reality. To the fucking reality…

"Here's some soup. You'd better eat it."

_ARGH, He's here already. __He doesn't give me one second peace. Why the heck is he always hanging around me?_

Ed took the soup and took a look at it. Good: no milk. At least the man had still some manners. He started eating.

"Ed… I think we need to have a talk."

"Oh, and why is that? I don't feel like talking right now", Ed muttered.

_Especially with you. I don't give a shit what you're going to say. I don't give a shit. And I never will._

"Ed, some things need to get talked through. And this is one of those things."

"How about if you talk and I sleep? Wouldn't that be good?"

"No. I need you to listen and talk as well. We need to get through this."

Ed didn't answer, he used the soup as an excuse. Roy saw right through his act.

"OK, I'll start. I really care about you, and I would never leave you."

"Then why last night?" Ed blurted out. He couldn't keep it in. He felt so bitter. "Then what happened last night!?" His voice was rising with every word.

"I was upset and out of my mind. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. After I realised what I had done I came right after you."

"Yeah, and you expect me to believe that? Did it really take TWO FUCKING HOURS to find me?! DID IT!?" Ed sat up in his bed. His face was beginning to turn red because of his rage towards the man in front of him. "Don't say anything you don't mean, I don't want to hear it."

"I was drunk so I wasn't thinking clearly and Central is a big city! What did you expect, that I would find you in a minute?"

"I never said so!" Ed tried to get up but Roy pulled him back in his bed.

"Don't you walk away from me. Don't you dare to move. You're sick." Ed tensed up.

"And who are you, giving me your commands? My colonel? You have no right to mess up with my personal life. And you're certainly not my father."

The words hurt Roy. They froze him inside and bring tears in his eyes. "You don't mean that."

"The funniest thing is that I do! You're not my father. I don't consider anyone who leaves me as my father. I don't have a father."

"I'M YOUR BLOODY FATHER! I'm the one who has taken care of you, who has loved you, who has always waited for you to come home!"

"Oh, and you said _who has._ You don't do any of those things anymore, don't you?!"

"What!? I do, I swear Ed, I still do those things, I care about you!"

_Oh shit, I should think about things before I say them! Now he got totally wrong idea._

"NO YOU DON'T, SO STOP LYING TO ME! GET OUT!"

"Ed, I-"

"OUT! NOW! BEFORE I'M BLOWING YOU UP LIKE SCAR DOES!"

Roy walked out of the room. Then he buried his face in his hands.

"That didn't go very well…"

* * *

A few days passed. Roy tried to bring up a conversation and tell Ed how much he cared about him, but it wasn't working. Ed didn't say a word. Not one word. At days Roy had to go to work and every time he was opening his door he wondered if Ed was still in. He was, but Roy knew it was just temporary. He knew Ed was planning leaving: Ed hadn't unpacked. And the coldness from his part was getting stronger.

Roy turned his key in the lock and opened the door. He saw Ed sitting on the sofa, fully dressed, back towards him. He saw Ed's bag lying on the floor next to the boy. He knew it was the time.

"You're planning to leave, aren't you?" he asked quietly.

"Yes. The train leaves in two hours. I'll go to Resembool." Ed's voice was steady and cold. "You can't make me stay, don't you get it?"

"No. I don't want you to go, Ed, I care about you. I want you to stay here." He closed the door but didn't move away from the door.

"If you care about me, you'll let me go. You'll leave me alone."

"That's not what someone who cares would do. That's something that someone who doesn't care would do."

"Whatever. You can't stop me."

The silence was chilly. Roy knew Ed's words were true: he couldn't make him stay. Except if he used force, and he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to hurt Ed. Not more than he had already hurt.

_But I don't want him to go… I don't want him to leave._

"Why don't you trust me?"

"Why do you expect me to? Have you given me a reason to trust, a reason good enough after what you did?"

_I did wrong and I'm sorry. You haven't given me a chance after that._

"You can't move on if you linger in the past."

"I'm sorry if I can't let my past go! I'm sorry if I miss someone who I have no reason to miss, I'm sorry if I can't stop being paranoid! I'm really sorry, but I just can't change that!" Ed stood up, now facing Roy. Roy saw the determination in his eyes. Ed was leaving.

"You can do it, I know it. You can do it if you want to do it, if there's someone supporting you. You can let go, if you just accept the fact that he isn't coming back."

"And how can you know that he's not coming back?!" Ed hissed.

"He hasn't contacted you in 15 years. I think that says enough. There's someone right in front of you that could be your father, so why you don't accept him?"

"Because he isn't worth it! He isn't worth accepting!"

Roy felt a single tear falling down his cheek.

"And why is that?"

"Because he just isn't. Because I don't want to accept someone unreal that always says things without meaning them."

"And when have I done that?"

"Sometimes when we talk, you tell me how much you care about me, how much you love me, how much I'm like a son to you, but your eyes aren't telling the same story! Your eyes are telling me how much you would love to get a son of your own, and then I wouldn't mean anything to you anymore! THEN I WOULD BE JUST A PIECE OF RUBBISH IN YOUR HOUSE, ALWAYS ON YOUR WAY, ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO ISN'T REAL!"

Roy stood there. He was shocked. Ed's words didn't make any sense to him. Of course, he dreamed that one day he could also get a son of his own, but Ed would still be there. Ed would still matter, Ed would still be in his heart.

"That's not true."

"It is. I'll go now, I'll wait the rest of the time in the station. I just wanted you to know that I'm leaving."

Ed grabbed his belongings and walked to the door. Roy couldn't help but move like in a trance when Ed opened the door and left.

It was the second time Ed left.

And it might've been the last time.

* * *

Oh god, did I just write that? How could I? But the story isn't over yet, folks!

Review! Thanks for everyone who reviewed again, I got like... 5 new reviews? I'm shocked. So many. Wow.


	6. Forget the past and give me a chance

I updated again. I was so bored. I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

**

A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT

_**Chapter 6  
**__Forget the past and give me a chance_

_So, it's done now._

Ed was sitting on the train station alone. All by himself. Of course there were a bunch of people around him, talking, laughing, saying goodbyes. Ed had already said his goodbye. He didn't have anyone who would've come in the station with him without trying to turn him back, so he didn't take anyone with him. He just sat there alone. All alone.

_Why do I run away? Why I can't give myself a chance for a happy life..?_

He didn't know. That was the fact. He had no idea. He wanted to stay, but his instincts were telling him to run away. They weren't allowing him to stay. So he didn't.

_Why I can't trust in him?_

Because he just couldn't. Roy had been there for him, but he had also abandoned him when he had heard that Ed couldn't trust him. When he had realised that Ed wasn't ready. He wasn't ready for a father just yet.

_Maybe he should just get himself a wife like Hughes always tells him to… Then he would have that son of his own. Then he wouldn't yearn after me. Then things would be just fine… for his part._

He squeezed the bench. The same one where he had been sitting when he had got kicked out of Roy's place several day's ago. The night when everything that had been left had gone wrong. When everything had broken into pieces like a glass that wall from the top of a building. Now they were just walking bare feet on top of the granules.

Ed saw his train arriving. He slowly stood up and grabbed his bags. Then he headed to the train.

_Now I just have to wait for this train to finally leave… to take me away from this mess I have evoked.

* * *

_

_I need to find him… I need to stop him… I CAN'T LET HIM GO!_

Roy arrived the train station. He was trying to catch a glimpse of a certain golden haired boy, but with no results. There were hundreds of people on the station… arriving and leaving. And he had no idea what train was Ed's. If Ed's train hadn't left already.

_No… he can't be away just yet. He's somewhere here, he must be!_

He tapped a man next to him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, but do you know which train heads… to… Resembool?" The man looked at him smiling.

"Yeah, it's that one over there."

"Thank you!" Roy was relieved. He had found the right train in time.

Then the train started moving.

"Oh shit… ED!"

* * *

_Finally this rubbish goes. I was starting to worry… and no glimpse of anyone stopping me! I'm so lucky._

Then he heard someone screaming his name. A familiar someone.

_God, that man just doesn't give up. Haven't he already done enough? I'm sick of this._

He didn't look out of the window. No matter how many times he heard Roy yelling his name. He didn't care. Or actually he did… But he just didn't want to admit it to himself.

_Soon his voice will fade… soon I'll be alone once again._

The train started slowing down.

"What the heck is this..!?" Ed muttered. He stood up and looked out of the window, seeing other people doing the same thing, hearing people asking and wondering the same question. Though they had no idea what was going on, Ed was pretty sure he did.

_That bastard… now, this is enough. I'm sick of him._

He sat back down, sulking. He had been sure that he had gotten rid of Roy, but apparently that wasn't the way things really were.

Then someone opened the door.

"Ed, finally, you have no idea how many people I've scared for dead while trying to find you!"

"See, you just can't seem to make people happy. Only angry and upset. And I'm not leaving the train."

Then the train started moving again. Ed blinked.

_I wasn't expecting THIS…_

"I'm not forcing you to stay, I'm coming with you." Roy smiled when he sat next to Ed. Ed stood up and sat on the bench towards.

"You just can't seem to manage keeping your ugly nose out of other people's business. And you're not coming with me, I'm not allowing you", Ed grunted. He didn't even want to imagine Winry's or aunt Pinako's faces if they would see him bringing his colonel with. And Al's. Al didn't know about their fights, and he was already a little upset because he was thinking that Ed had given Roy replace their own father. Which he somewhere inside hadn't. And he didn't want Al to think it was getting really serious by bringing Roy with him.

_I can't bring Al down. I can't. Especially when I don't like Roy. Especially while I don't give a shit about him._

"Then what are you planning to do, leaving me out?" Roy smirked.

"If that's what I have to do, then yes. I'm also considering beating you up so you end up in a hospital, so you can't show your fucking face in a while." He gritted his teeth.

_God, he really must hate me._

"That's not nice, Ed. I'm here to take care of you", he said nicely.

"I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, sure you can. Even now, you're completely stable", Roy hummed.

"Excuse me? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?!"

"You're out of your mind. You're not thinking clearly."

"That's not true! I'm thinking clearly. I don't want you near to me."

"Is it because you're trying to protect yourself from a new father and a happy life or from being hurt?"

_Bingo!_

Ed glanced at Roy. He was getting sick of him. How did that man read him that well?

"It's the first option, isn't it? You're not letting your past go, you want to suffer while thinking about a father. You don't want to smile while thinking about a father. You don't want anyone else except you biological father to be your father. To be your family. Isn't it so?"

"Shut up", Ed hissed. His eyes were narrowing.

"You're not admitting it even to yourself, right?"

"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Ed screamed.

"Hey, we're on train. Don't scare other travellers."

"Why can't you just let go? I'm helpless, OK? You can't do anything, so why you don't just give up?" Ed whispered. "There's no way you can profit with your hard work. In this situation there's no equivalent exchange."

"Yes, there is. You just don't see it."

Ed raised his head and glanced at Roy with sorrowful eyes.

"You just need to see it. I have faith in you. One day, you'll understand what I mean."

Roy's words were soft. They made Ed feel comforted. He grinned.

"I don't understand what you mean. I can't see a way to evade my feelings. There is no way to evade them. It's you that's not seeing something."

Roy sighed sadly. "Why do you fight against my help? Why do you fight against everyone's help? Why are you so stubborn?"

"I don't know."

_I don't know. I just can't stand seeing everyone worried, seeing everyone trying help. I hate it when people pity me. I deserve no pity. People around me deserve pity. They have sacrificed so much to keep me sane, and they're not succeeding. I'm losing my mind with the whole father-thing._

Roy got up and hugged the teen. He felt Ed just sitting there, shivering but still stiffly. He knew the kid was feeling lost. He knew that everything was just so knew for him. Well… not new but a long ago forgotten.

"I just… I want to see my father. I want to hear his reason for why he left. I want to know. I need to know. I can't move on before that."

"We've already tried to find him, we're not even sure if he's alive anymore. You just have to get over it, you just have to move on. And I… I care about you, I really do. Please, give me a month to prove that I can be your father, a father you love. A father that wants you and who you want as well. Give me a month and I'll show you."

_Now, this is a huge move. This is a tough one. A month is really short time. And he's not approving that quickly._

"You can't do it in a month." Ed smiled sadly. "Not maybe even in a few years. It might take the rest of your life, and you still might not succeed."

"I'll show you. Three weeks."

"Don't lower it, you'll just get into troubles, you can't do it in three weeks."

"I can. Two weeks, let me just show you."

"Roy, you're going insane, that's impossible!"

"A WEEK!"

Ed stared at Roy with his huge golden eyes that were wide. His mouth had dropped and he had frozen. The task was impossible.

"Give me a week, and I'll show you."

"You have no idea what you've put yourself into…" Ed whispered.

"I do. I know it's almost impossible, but I can do it." Ed saw determination in his almost black eyes.

"A week. Right. Then you'll leave me alone."

Roy breathed heavily out. "If that's what you want. A week, and if I fail, I'm out of your life. Then I'll just be a colonel bastard."

* * *

The trip in Resembool was going to take three days. THREE DAYS. Roy could almost hear the clock ticking, he had gotten himself in a huge mess.

_If I would've never opened my bloody mouth I would have the rest of my life time to make him realise how he feels! Now I have A WEEK! What made me say that? What got into me? Shit, I'm screwed. And three days will be in a train. That means that I have four days out of the train, and that's on countryside. With his… family. With Al and the Rockbells. I'm so screwed… if I can't succeed, I'm going to lose him forever!_

Roy sat towards Ed. They were talking. At last he was able to talk with Ed… it had been so long since their last time. Roy was enjoying himself. But also scared to death. What if he would fail?

_I can't fail… I just have to make him open his eyes. Easier said than done._

"So, your father left when you were kids?"

"Yeah. I was one year old and Al was just a baby. I bet he doesn't even remember him. He has only heard stories and other's memories. I have a few very short memories."

"What are they like? Can you tell me?"

"Err… it's hard to say. I remember a few times my mum and dad yelling to each others and dad going to take a drink. And later I remember him coming home. Then I remember… I think I was already one year old, I remember him, me and mum playing on the backyard. And near a river. And then I remember a few little conversations. And his smile. That's pretty much it."

Roy smiled. "You have a good memory."

"You think so?"

"Yes. I don't remember anything about the time when I was that small. My first memories are very quick flashes when I was four years old." He chuckled. "I was a terrible kid. Always messing around."

Ed smiled as well. It was nice to have a conversation like this. He was starting to open up.

_Wait, what? Me, opening up? Now there's something wrong. I've never done that before. Not with anyone. A little with Al… but never with anyone else._

His smile became forced. Roy noticed.

"What is it?"

"Nothing… absolutely nothing."

"You can tell me anything, you sure know that?"

"Yeah… I've heard you telling me that almost every day for the past seven weeks." He smirked.

"Wow, you've listened to me. Now I just need you to also be nice and open up."

"Be nice and open up, eh? Isn't that a little optimistic?"

"No. I'll manage to do that, no matter how much you fight against it. Now, what's wrong."

Ed blushed slightly. "I already told you, nothing is wrong."

"Tsk tsk, Ed, that's not nice. Lying to your father. Come on, you can tell it to me."

"You would just laugh. I don't want you to laugh." Ed's blush deepened.

"Oh really? Why you don't want me to laugh?"

"I just don't with this situation. I would feel embarrassed."

"OK, I promise you that I won't laugh. You can trust me. Let this be a test, test if you can trust me. Come on." His voice and face were serious. Ed considered it. He really did.

_Can I trust him..? What if he'll just let me down again? What if he'll laugh right at my face?_

"I… I…"

Roy raised his eyebrows. He knew this was a hard one.

"I… I can't. Sorry. I just can't", Ed whispered. Great. He didn't have time for failings.

"Please, try me. Don't be afraid. Trust me only this once. I won't laugh, I promise."

Ed stared at him for a while. Roy could see his inner fight. "OK… I think I'm starting to open up. Now, laugh."

Roy didn't laugh. He didn't even feel like it. He felt something warm. This was going well. Maybe he would succeed. Maybe. But the chances were still slim.

"You're… you're not laughing?" Ed seemed shocked. And happy. Roy loved seeing the teen happy, that was the mood Ed usually didn't have. But now he was happy.

"No. I promised you not to. You can trust me, see?"

Ed smiled. His smile meant so much for Roy. It was weird. Seeing his son smiling at him made him forget everything else. He just loved his smile. It made all his worries disappear. All his sins in the past didn't matter. None of them did. Just Ed. Ed was the most important thing in his life.

And he wasn't going to let him go.

Ed yawned.

"Are you getting tired?" Roy asked gently.

"I guess so. It's late. I think I'll just get some sleep. Are you OK with that?"

"Of course. If you feel like sleeping, then you should sleep."

Roy got up and sat next to Ed. He let Ed lay his head on his lap which Ed hesitantly did. Then Roy laid Ed's red coat as a blanket for him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Sweet dreams."

* * *

Now Roy got himself in a big mess. Poor man.

Review people! I'm not biting your finger's off!


	7. What do things mean to you?

Hey everyone! This was hard to write. I admit it. I hope you enjoy it, though it's pretty boring... it's hard to think about what anyone would do in a train.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or that cardplay that Ed teaches to Roy.**

**

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 7  
**__What __do things mean to you?_

_He looks so peaceful when he sleeps._

Ed had fallen asleep pretty quickly. Maybe it was because he travelled a lot in trains, but he didn't seem to pay any attention to the noise. It was amazing. The disturbance was horrible enough to keep Roy awake. He hated trains.

Ed's head was still on Roy's lap. His braid was messy. Ed had forgotten to open his hair. The kid was so abstracted. Always forgetting things. Not big ones, of course. Ed's memory was incredibly good in some situations, but some little things just didn't seem to stay in his mind for a long time.

Ed turned his head and let out a silent snort. Roy couldn't help but smile.

_How can someone so burdened look so peaceful? How can someone who carries guilt everywhere look so innocent? No wonder everyone has a soft spot for him. He's just a kid__, but when the time comes, he can act like an adult. Not for long, of course, but for a little while._

He laid his hand lightly on Ed's shoulder. The teen seemed to relax even more if it was even possible.

_Does he feel safe with me?_

Maybe someday he was going to get an answer for his question. But things were too sensitive to ask for a while. He had gain a little bit of Ed's trust, but it wasn't enough. He knew that he needed to gain more. Much more.

_I just wish that I would know how… but maybe I'll see my chances when the time comes. I have to use every single __eventuality that comes. I have so little time._

He was feeling sleepy. Maybe he should just sleep? Yeah, that would be nice. The noise was horrible, but he could manage to ignore it. Well, not actually. He couldn't ignore it. But it didn't mean that he had no chances to sleep. Especially when he was so tired. And he had Ed in there. Yeah, he had Ed… He could sleep. If he could just feel Ed's head on his lap he could sleep anywhere.

Ed lifted his hand next to his head. Roy chuckled. The kid was just so cute.

Then he let the warmness and darkness take his covers down and make him sleep.

* * *

Next morning Roy woke up. For a while he wondered where he was. Then he remembered and opened his eyes.

Ed was still sleeping. He was very gifted in it. His coat had fallen to the ground, but the air wasn't actually cold, so it didn't seem to bother him. Roy listened the sound of his breathing, they sound of being alive. It was like music to his ears. Ed wasn't just his fancy. He was real. He was real, full of life. Full of power. Power to make him sacrifice anything for him. It was laughable… who would have thought that he would ever have a son that he would want to protect even if his own life was on line?

Ed shuddered and opened his eyes.

"I'm hungry."

"I should have known that those would be your first words. Aren't you going to say good morning or anything?" Roy swayed his index finger.

"A morning can't be good before breakfast. I'm hungry, let's go and try to get some food." Ed stood up and grabbed his coat.

Roy sighed. "Whatever you want."

* * *

"So, what does family mean to you?" Roy asked they had had breakfast.

"Err… why do you insist knowing?"

"If I'm succeeding, I want to know what it means to you."

"OK. Well… I guess… a family is important. It's not something that you just leave and walk away from without any kind of bonds. A family is always there, no matter what. It's a reason to live."

_So that means that if I succeed, there's no turning back. Not that I would want to turn back, I would never do that._

"Who do you consider as your family?"

Ed shifted uncomfortably on his seat. "Well, Al. And… I guess that Winry and aunt Pinako are my family as well. They took care of us when our parents were gone and they have been there for my whole life."

"What about your father?"

Ed fell silent for a moment. His voice was silent when he finally talked, and Roy could sense disappointment in it. "In a way he still is a part of my family. But he's like a black sheep, you know. He has let the rest of his family down, and there's no turning back."

"Alright. Then, what do you think a father should be like?"

"Err… reliable. And… soft. In a way, but he has to know where the line goes. He has to know when to leave me alone. And he can't betray me, he can't leave. He can't kick me out. He has to support me, whatever my decision might be. And he has to love me, he has to care about me. He has to be there when I need him." Ed seemed to really think about his words. He looked uncomfortable. Well, it wasn't actually a surprise.

_It must be hard to try and put your feelings and thoughts to words. Especially while telling something like that to someone who wants to be his father. I wouldn't be surprised if he would jump out of the window because he would want to end his nervousness._

And with that thought Roy moved closer to the window. Ed raised his eyebrows.

"I just wanted to see the scenery."

By that time Ed noticed his still messy braid. He sighed and removed the black rubber band. Then he started looking for his hairbrush.

"Maybe you should consider cutting your hair. It would be much easier to handle."

"You wish! I'm not cutting my hair, I like it the way it is." He grabbed his hairbrush and started brushing his golden locks. They were really tangled, so Ed wailed a few times. Roy felt really sorry for the kid.

When he finally finished he separated his hair in three parts.

"I can braid it. It would be easier for me because I can see what I'm doing."

"Sorry, but no. I don't like anyone else braiding my hair. No idea why. It's just… I don't know. Private. I don't let even Al braid it."

"You don't seem to care when someone touches your hair."

"I don't. I let people I trust touch my hair, but braiding it goes too far. I just don't like anyone else doing it, OK?" Ed finished his braid. It was very cleanly. Roy had to admit that he didn't think that he would've done as good job as Ed did, even when Ed didn't see his hair. He had became very good in it, but what else would you expect from someone who braids his hair everyday?

_But it's weird that he doesn't like anyone else braiding his hair. I've never heard about something like that before. I don't know what's so important in his braid. But maybe it's part of his personality. Maybe it's something that reminds him about something in his past. Something that isn't big as a thing, but what means a lot to him. I don't know. I wish I knew, but I just don't. He's sometimes so complicated.

* * *

_

The day had passed quickly. It made Roy nervous, because his time was ticking. His time to make Ed want to be his son. They had chatted the whole day. And ate. Ed wanted something to eat after every three hours.

The silence was relaxed. It wasn't uncomfortable. It was giving both of them a little time to think about things, to solve their thoughts. Roy noticed Ed's stiff appearance.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked worryingly.

"What? Oh… nothing important. Just some stuff."

"You always say so, but then it still means a lot to you. I'm here so you can talk."

Ed thought about it. Roy was always nervous when Ed thought was he reliable enough. He knew that every time Ed thought about it, his task was fingering him. And if he managed to open Ed up, he would get credit. He would gain more his trust. And that was the thing he needed the most.

Ed lowered his head. "It's really stupid to think about."

"Nothing is stupid to think about. Things are here so we can think about them."

"What do you think about death?" Ed blurted out.

Roy sat there staring.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you or anything, I just-"

"No, you didn't upset me. Don't worry about it. And for your question… I think that death is unavoidable. It comes some day, and without it this world would be a mess. It's part of the world's flow, it's sometimes hard to accept but at the same time I know that I have to accept it because it's the way things are. Things bear and die. People bear and die."

Edward smiled weakly. "You sound a little bit like our teacher. Mine and Al's. Once she threw us in an island for a month to figure out the riddle 'All is one, one is all.'"

Roy thought about it. "Now that's cruel. And I don't think I quite understand that riddle."

"All is one, one is all. It's about the world's flow. All is this world… Everything in it. And one is one and only living thing. The living thing can't survive without the world, without anything living around it. But world can't survive if it doesn't die one day and return everything back to it. Its death can affect badly some other living things around it, but its death also makes world happier. The nourishment returns to the ground and flora use it. And then they grow, and give nourishment to living things. It's a little hard to explain, but I think you got the idea."

"That's a good riddle."

"Yes it is. Thought it was a little too hard for two kids…" Ed smirked. "But we managed to figure it out. But it took time as you can imagine."

"Clearly."

Ed looked at the decreasing sun that made the sky show different kind of warm colours.

"I wonder if we can see stars tonight. You don't see much of them while staying in Central, but in Resembool they're shining every night. It's beautiful, the stars make me feel like home. Al and I used to try to find some pictures while looking at them." His smile was peaceful and dreamy. He was lost in his memories and Roy knew it. He didn't want to ruin Ed's moment so he didn't say anything.

_I don't usually see stars. I wonder what they're like in Resembool. For Ed they seem to mean a lot. They must remind him about his home, about the time when he still had his family._

But unfortunately they weren't near enough the countryside to see the stars that night.

* * *

_Five days._

As the days passed by, Roy noticed his growing desperation and fear. Next day he was going to meet Ed's family. He was shocked. The time was flying by way too quickly. Of course Ed didn't seem to be mad at him anymore, he had approved a lot, but he didn't think that the teen was ready yet.

_Well, he doesn't have to be ready _yet_. I still have over half of the time left. But still._

"Do you want to play with cards?" he heard a cheerful voice next to him.

"I'm not really good in it."

"Doesn't matter. Do you want to?"

"If you want to."

"I'll take that as a yes. Come here."

Ed started sharing the cards. He gave Roy five cards and he took five cards to himself. The rest of the pack he putted next to them.

"I learned this game while travelling. It's fun, because you can cheat in it."

"I should've guessed."

"Now shut up and listen the instructions. Don't tell me what cards you have. I'll tell you a little bit about the cards at first. Two is the strongest card. You can put it in game whenever you want to and the player playing against you can't put anything else than two on it, if he's not cheating. You can 'bring down' the cards with ten or ace. Or if all four same kind of cards are behind each others. And you can put only a bigger or the same valued card on the card. If you have many cards with the same number or letter, you can put all of them at once. But then you can also cheat and say that the card in something that it really isn't. If I suspect that you cheated, I can watch the card you put in the game. If it is what you said it was, I have to take all those cards that are on the heap. If it's not what you said, then you have to take them. You have to have always at least five cards in your hand, but when that heap over there ends, you can have less. The winner is the one who gets rid of his cards at first. OK?"

"That's complicated."

"You'll learn. It's fun."

Roy sighed. "I really hope so."

* * *

The game was a nightmare for Roy's part. Ed cheated all the time and never got caught. He tried a few times when he had to, but Ed always cached him. He assumed that he didn't have a good poker-face. Ed's was perfect. He had no idea when the kid cheated and when he didn't. And when he thought that he knew, it was just Ed playing with him. So he had to raise the cards too many times to win, while Ed got rid of his own ones way too easily.

"I give up. I'm never going to win."

"Not against me. It's fun to play with Al, he's a tough one because his face isn't able to show any kind of emotions."

"I bet he is. Do you want to play chess?"

"That's boring", Ed said yawning.

"So are your cards."

"Whatever. I like cards."

"I bet you do. It must be boring always sitting on the train."

"Yes and no. Here's not much to do, but at least I have time to think about stuff. Plan things and all. I actually enjoy train rides."

* * *

Next morning both of them were nervous. It was the day they were supposed to arrive to Resembool. And it was the time when hell most likely would take power.

Ed was looking pale. And a little green.

"Are you OK?"

"Ermh… Nervous. Just fucking nervous. And scared. Winry's going to kill me… I would've wanted to live longer…" Then he got up and ran away. A few seconds later Roy heard someone vomiting loud. It didn't make him feel better at all.

_Well, at least I'm not the only one who's nervous in here…_

Ed got back and sat on his seat, exhausted.

"Do you feel better?" he asked worryingly.

"A little. But it isn't changing the beating up with a wrench", Ed grumbled.

"With a wrench? Who would hit you with a wrench?"

"Winry. She always does that. God, it hurts."

"Is Winry a girl?"

"Well, who do you think she is? Have you ever heard of a guy named Winry!?"

"No."

The silence started again when Ed ran out of the door again.

_Just a few hours… Shit… I don't want to see that wrench chick. She sounds dangerous.

* * *

_

The train arrived. Ed was shaking a little when he got out with his bags.

"Well, then I guess we'd better just go. Follow me."

* * *

Haa, that was hard to write. I didn't want to just jump over the train ride, because it took a few days off, and Roy has to do something during those days. I hope it wasn't that boring... I'll try to make next chappy a bit more interesting.

Review people! And thanks for everyone who has reviewed so far, it's been amazing. I never thought that someone could like this fic... you proved me wrong. I hope I won't let you down.


	8. Fluke and a violent family

I felt like updating, so I updated. Simple. Thanks for the reviews again, it's so amazing to read them! You make me smile. This chapter got pretty long... And I tried to put a little humor in it as well. I hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA! But guess what? I OWN FLUKE! Haa! My invention... I'm so proud!**

**

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 8  
**__Fluke and a violent family_

_Oh shit… I don't want to knock the door. I don't want to do it. I want to back away and quickly before someone sees me._

Ed and Roy were standing in front of the Rockbell's front door. Ed was taking a deep breath to obtain courage. Roy pitied the boy. But he pitied himself as well… What would it be like to meet Ed's so called family? The sounds inside the building weren't helping. They could hear loud banging and various other metallic voices.

_I can't turn back now… Shit, why did he have to come along? We're so screwed…_

He knocked the door.

"WINRY! OPEN THE DOOR!" Ed heard aunt Pinako yelling.

"I'M BUSY CAN'T YOU SEE?" Winry yelled back. Their voices were barely sounding. How was it even possible for them to hear his knocking? He wasn't sure. And at the moment, he really didn't care.

_Should I run? If I'm going to run, I have to do it now. RUN ED, RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!_

Winry opened the door. She looked at Ed at first in shock and then she screamed out of joy and hugged him tightly.

"Winry..!" Good, no wrench. God, he was lucky.

Then the wrench hit him in his head.

"OWW! THAT'S NOT FUN, WINRY!"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU COME EARLIER WITH AL!?"

"DO YOU THINK I WANT TO COME HERE JUST GETTING HIT WITH YOUR BLOODY WRENCH! BLOODY WRENCH, LITERALLY!" Ed was holding his head that had a nasty bruise on his forehead. It was bleeding.

Roy watched the two of them. What kind of scary family the kid had. He finally got home, and then he got hit by a wrench. No wonder the kid avoided returning to Resembool.

"And who is this man, Ed? He wears a military suit… don't say you got yourself in trouble!" She was looking disappointed and a little bit scared.

"No, Miss Rockbell, It's not like that! I'm accompanying Ed", he tried to explain.

"Are you like that Armstrong guy?" Winry asked, looking bored.

"Err… Not exactly."

"Winry, this is Roy. Roy this is Winry, you don't have to call her Miss Rockbell", Ed took care of the introductions while rubbing his forehead. "Winry, I think I need to wash this bruise so it can't inflame. Can we come in? I'll explain everything."

"You better do. Come in. HEY AL! YOUR BROTHER'S HERE!"

"Uggh, don't yell in my ear! Are you trying to make me deaf!?"

Roy sighed. What a violent family Ed had. And had he been thinking that he hadn't been soft enough? Oh god, maybe he had been a little too soft, maybe that had drove Ed crazy. Maybe.

They just got in when Al and Pinako came downstairs.

"Brother! It's so good to see you! And… you bring the colonel with you?"

"Oh, colonel, really? What was the last one, a mayor? You really seem to get yourself in trouble, Ed", Pinako said, smirking.

"No, he's not here looking after me. He's here getting to know you. Now I'm going to wash this bruise, excuse me." With that Ed walked somewhere leaving Roy alone with three people staring at him.

"Err… hello?"

* * *

_Shit with Winry… IS SHE HONESTLY TO KILL ME? I wouldn't be surprised. She wasn't this violent when we were kids… I guess it can't be helped. I wonder how Roy's doing…_

Ed shrugged. Maybe it was better not to imagine what was going on in the hall.

_This bruise hurts… Oww! I would hit her back, if I wouldn't know that I would just get another, worse bruise…_

He dried his injury and straightened himself. Then he spoke to the mirror.

"OK, come on, I can do this. I can do this… OK, maybe I'll stay in here just a while longer. Wait, no, I have to go and deal with this. Now… Shit." He whined. Then he headed to the hall.

He was surprised when he heard the voices coming from the kitchen, not from the hall. He walked in it hesitantly, expecting a huge amount of screaming and violence. And blood, you can't forget blood.

_I wonder if he's still alive…_

He swallowed. Then he heard laughing.

_Excuse me… is that Al? Al's not violent, isn't he? And the laugh isn't maniac-like… what the heck is going on?_

He stepped in.

And saw Alphonse showing Roy a kitty.

_What the…?_

"Hey, brother! Have you seen Fluke yet? Can I keep him? Isn't he sweet..! Roy said that I can keep him if I want to, are you letting me keep him?" Next thing Ed realised was that he was holding a soft and rumpled chocolate mousse coloured kitty with dark green eyes. Then kitten was sweet, really.

"Al, you know that we travel too much to take care of a kitty… we've got through this before." He was smiling sadly. The kitten was adorable, he had to admit. Fluke meowed softly.

"But Roy promised that he can take care of it while we're away! It won't be left alone, it can have a home! Isn't he sweet, brother, you can't abandon him." Ed listened to his brother's pleading voice and felt like melting. God, it was just so hard to say no to Alphonse. He sighed.

"Did Roy really say so?"

"Yes, brother, he did, didn't you?" Al turned to Roy. Ed was sure that if Al would've had his body he would've been showing his puppy eyes what with he could get anything he ever wanted.

"Yes. I can take care of him, he's actually pretty sweet. I've never had a kitten before, and remember that time when you were trying to make me get one? I really felt bad. I want at least this cat to have a home. And he seems to mean a lot to Al."

Ed smirked. "Are you bribing him?"

Roy seemed almost innocent. Almost. "No, of course not! Isn't Fluke a gorgeous kitten?"

Ed laughed. "I guess he is. OK, Al, you can keep him but he's your responsibility. And you're the one making sure that Roy takes care of him while we're away."

"THANK YOU BROTHER, YOU'RE THE BEST! Do you want to see Fluke's bed? Winry helped me make it, it's so cool and it has wheels and everything! You got to see it, come on!"

Next thing Ed realised was that Alphonse was carrying him away.

"Put me down, Al, put me down! I can walk by myself! PUT ME DOOOWWN!"

Roy smiled as they disappeared around the corner. Alphonse. What an adorable kid as well, always so excited and kind-hearted. Well, one was taken care of, two were left. And Ed. He wasn't finished with Ed quite yet.

"So, Ed said that he would explain why you are in here, but it seems like he got trapped with Al. So, are you going to tell us?" Pinako asked, while handing Roy a cup of coffee. Roy poured milk in it before answering.

"This might be a shock, but I'm trying to replace his father. Easier said than done, though." He sipped the coffee.

"Replace Ed's father? That's not an easy task. No matter how much Ed says that he's over his father, he's not. Trust me."

"I know. That's why the task isn't easy. I've tried for seven and half weeks now. He's improved a lot, but there's still a long way before he's ready… and the problem is that I promised to disappear from his life if I'm not succeeding in a week. I have now four days left."

"You putted yourself in a big mess. You're failing, there's no way that you can do that in four days. I can tell that he's attached to you, but not enough. Shame. It would've been nice if he would've gotten a father again. He could use one", Pinako said seriously.

Roy looked her in her eyes. "You think so? You're not mad or something?"

"No. Well, maybe a little, but that's because at the moment it seems like you're failing. You're letting him down again. I don't know what he'll be like after it."

"I'm not failing. I just need all of your help. Yours, Al's, And Winry's. Then I can do it. You have to talk to him as well, try to make him realise his feelings."

"That's going to be hard. But if that's what you want, I'm going to talk about it with Winry and Al. But that means that we put a lot of faith in you, and you'd better be worth it."

"I will. I will."

* * *

"Isn't it handy, brother?"

"Yeah… I like the sheets. Mint and cinnamon. Very fresh. Was it your idea?"

"Yes! Winry was showing aunt Pinako's filaments and they just suited Fluke so well that I couldn't help but use them! Isn't it fun to have a pet? I always wanted a cat. And now I have one! Roy's so nice!"

"You think so? You're not mad at me?" Ed asked, feeling relieved.

"Of course I'm not mad at you, I just can't be mad at you for a long time and now I don't feel mad at all. So, is that father issue serious?"

Ed smiled. "He's trying to make me want him to be my father in a week. He has four days left. If he's not succeeding, he's out of my life."

"But what about Fluke?" Al asked sadly.

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he'll keep it anyway and we can visit watching it."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"He's a nice father. I like him. Do you think he wants to be my father as well?"

"Of course he does, Al, if you just want it as well!"

Ed caressed Fluke. The kitty was sweet… it seemed to have Al's calm temperature. That was good.

_I wouldn't want a cat that would scratch me alive… That would be a nightmare. But this one is really nice. Al has good taste. I should've guessed that he would have a cat once I showed up… And now that Roy said yes once, if I don't keep my eyes open we're going to have a bunch of cats._

"Hey again! How's your head?"

"Hey Winry. It's better, but could you keep that wrench somewhere far away?"

"Very funny Ed."

"I wasn't trying to be funny. I was absolutely serious. It seems to be a threat to my healt."

"Cut it, you two. Don't you dare start again."

"Sorry Al…!"

"Anyway, Ed, that man that you took in here looks very nice."

"Excuse me? Looks nice? He's much older than you!" Ed asked shocked.

"Not in that way, you idiot! I mean that he seems to be a nice man!" Winry moaned. "You're helpless."

"No, I'm not, you're just indistinct", Ed shot back. Fluke got up and walked to Al.

"Whatever. But back to the subject, wouldn't he be a good father?"

"YES!" Al yelled.

"Nice to hear your opinion as well, Al. So, how is it Ed?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Winry asked unbelieving.

Ed snorted. "Don't expect me to know everything. I hate it."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude or anything."

"Naah, don't be sorry. I've got used to it. Just… don't do it anymore." He smiled at her.

"Well, anyway, granny is thinking that we could go for a picnic to the river. Are you coming?"

"Err… I guess yes? The last time I remember going for a picnic was when we were kids."

Winry smiled excitedly. "Yeah, I remember those times! All three of us, almost every day. We were always asking if we could go for a picnic… it was so fun!"

"I remember that too! Remember the time when Ed fell to the river? He almost drowned… we were so scared."

"I DIDN'T FALL, YOU PUSHED ME!"

"Are you kids ready?" Pinako asked. "And Al, I think it would be better to leave Fluke in here. Cats don't like water and he could get lost."

Al sighed sadly. "OK, auntie."

"Now, come on, we're waiting."

* * *

_I still enjoy picnics._

They were sitting by the riverside chatting, laughing and eating. It was weird, really, how quickly everyone had accepted Roy. And even weirder was the fact that everyone seemed to like him. They were always asking him what he thought about Roy. If he wanted him to be his father. It was confusing, for a while he found himself dreaming about it.

_But what if my real father comes back with a reason why he left and I would already have a new father? That wouldn't be nice, that would be cruel… But still… Roy is so nice, he's so gentle and all. Do I need my father when I have him? I can't decide._

He bit his sandwich, lost in his thoughts.

"The water seems so warm", Winry said and got up. She walked in the water, water covering here to her knees. "Come on, Ed!"

"I can't swim, Winry, I'm going to drown. For you it might be easy, but you don't have an arm and leg that are making you sink." He smiled sadly.

"Oh, yeah. But you can still come and stand in here! Come on, don't be scared shorty!"

That was the time she realised that someone had bowled her over. She sat up, completely wet.

"EDWARD ELRIC!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE CAN'T EVEN OPEN A SIMPLE DOOR BECAUSE HE CAN'T REACH THE DOORKNOB!?"

Everyone laughed, except for the two of them that yelled at the same time like in a choir practice "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!?"

"The nerve of those two… honestly…" Al managed to hiss while laughing.

"Alphonse, are you making fun of your brother!?" Edward yelled at him.

Al giggled. "No, not at all. Nobody in here is making fun of you, honestly."

Ed moaned and walked back to the others. "I'm wet. The water flew everywhere…"

"Your own damn fault! And don't you whine in there, I'm much wetter that you!"

Roy smiled. "Alright, calm down you two. I don't want anyone to die."

The rest of the picnic was in peace.

* * *

When they got back Ed and Winry started fighting witch one would take a shower first and Al ran upstairs to see Fluke. Roy tapped Pinako on her shoulder, easier said than done, considering how small Pinako was.

"Can I use the phone? I want to make a call…"

"Right over there. I'll go and take care of those two…"

"Thanks."

Roy dialled Hughes's number and waited.

"Hey, Maes! I'm sorry, I totally forgot to tell, I'm not in Central right now, tell Hawkeye that I'm on a little holiday… no, it won't take long, a week most likely. Yeah. Thanks. Hey, I would need some papers… could you send them in here?"

* * *

Four days had passed. It was shocking how time flew when they had fun. Roy spent a lot of time with Ed alone, just talking like always. And when he wasn't around Ed, someone else was helping him to accomplish his goal. He noticed that Ed really paid attention to his family's words.

Roy took an envelope from his desk. An envelope that Hughes had send him.

_Is he going to accept this or not… Did I succeed or not..?_

He walked downstairs and saw a very nervous Ed sitting on the sofa with Alphonse. His sons. Well, if they just wanted to be his sons. Fluke was purring softly on Al's lap. He opened the envelope.

"OK, Ed and Al… it's the time. But don't say anything yet!" he started while seeing Ed opening his mouth. He couldn't read what the kid was going to say from his face. "I want you to let me finish at first. You don't have to say yes or no, you don't have to answer immediately, you can have all the time you want. But…" he laid the papers on the table. "Will you let me adopt you?"

Ed and Al stared at him in shock.

"Isn't this a little too fast?" Ed managed to lisp, his golden eyes confused and wide.

"You don't have to say anything yet."

There was a brief silence. Roy's hand were sweating.

"OK for my part", Ed said. Roy blinked.

"It's fine with me as well", Al said. Roy blinked twice.

"You really don't have to decide it now."

"I already made my decision. Now, give me a pen so I can sing it."

Roy smiled. Then the doorbell rang.

"ED, OPEN THE DOOR!" They heard Winry yelling.

"I'M A BIT BUSY NOW, DON'T RUIN THIS MOMENT!"

"YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE, JUST OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!"

"Who the fuck dares to interrupt this…" Ed grunted while standing up. "I'll be back in a second."

He walked to the door and opened it. Then he gasped.

"F… FATHER!?"

* * *

OH, I'M SO EVIL! This idea has been on my mind for a while now... hehee.

Review people! Review! I'm so thankful for everyone who has reviewed and who will review!


	9. The son of the two fathers

OMG! So many hits, so many reviews... I think I'm going to faint... this is WAY too amazing. Thank you so much.

_For the swear words: _I'll try to use less of them. Most likely I won't cut them out completely, but I promise to use less of them.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

**

**A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter **__**9  
**__The son of the two fathers_

_No… it just… _can't _be. It can't._

"Edward..?" the man in front of him said, sounding a little relieved but also pretty shocked. He smiled exhaustedly.

Ed couldn't help but just stare disbelieving. His mind wasn't accepting it. His mind wasn't accepting the fact that his life was turning upside down again.

_What should I do!? What can I do!? It's HIM! I… I can't deal with this now. Oh god, what should I do…!?_

And with that thought he slammed the door shut. It just felt to be the easiest way to avoid facing the things just now. He grabbed his head and fell against the door. He slowly let his feet lose focus and ended up sitting on the floor. He howled.

_No, no, no… This isn't happening. This is a dream. A very, very weird and scary dream. God, I want to wake up. I want to wake up to the realit__y… Must be the first time._

The doorbell rang again and Ed swore that he heard someone behind the door sigh. But maybe it was just his imagination. He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about anything anymore. It was like he was dreaming. Nothing felt realistic.

"Brother, did you open the door?" Al ejaculated.

Ed tried to answer but he soon found out that he couldn't make any voice. He didn't remember how to talk, how to move or do anything in that matter. Only breathing seemed to be still in his control, but it was heavy. He was so shocked. His mind was screaming but he couldn't show it. His body felt calmed… though his mind certainly didn't.

The doorbell rang again.

"Anyone there? Excuse me?"

Ed's body shrugged. He closed his eyes. He heard people walking towards him and Winry's yelling voice upstairs, but he didn't understand the words. They seemed to communicate on a different wavelength than he did.

"Brother…!? Are you OK?! What is it?" He felt someone next to him. He had no idea where he was, everything was so weird. What a nightmare.

He let out a small groan.

"Are you hurt? Is he hurt, Roy, do something!"

_What is happening…__? Whatever it is, it can't be the thing I'm imaging. Maybe accepting the adoption drove me crazy. Yeah, that must be it._

The doorbell rang again.

Ed felt someone lifting him up and saying something. He didn't know what, the voice was so familiar, but at the moment it seemed to come somewhere far away. He didn't react, he just was. Everything around him just… was. Everything seemed to go on in a slow motion. He could hear his heartbeat. The ticking of the clock. The breathing around him.

He felt being put down to the couch he had been sitting just a moment ago. Just a little moment… No, it felt like years…

Then his mind decided to give up fighting against the shock and just shut everything down.

* * *

The doorbell just kept ringing.

"WE'RE A BIT BUSY IN HERE, CAN YOU PLEASE WAIT A SECOND IN THERE?!" Roy found himself bellowing. Then Ed became limp.

"Oh god…"

He searched for the pulse… yeah, it was there. And breathing was OK as well, just pretty heavy. He found no injuries. The only thing that seemed to fit was shock, but he had no idea where the kid could've got that. Maybe he got too shocked because of the adoption? But… why did he react so much after it? It didn't make any sense.

The doorbell rang again. Then Roy realised where Ed had been when the shock had hit him.

_No… it can't be… or can it?_

"Alphonse, your brother seems to be OK, he's just in a shock. I'll go and open the door, just make sure he's OK. Try to wake him up." With that he stood up and ran to the door. And opened it.

There was a hesitant looking man. Long golden hair, glasses. Long brown coat. Roy blinked.

"Who are you?" he asked. Though he thought he already knew the answer. The answer that would explain everything, but what also could drive everyone in troubles. And ruin the adoption. He tensed.

"Hohenheim Elric. Was that my son? Edward?"

That was the time when Pinako pushed Roy away from the doorway and took a look at the man.

"Hohenheim? Long time no see. What brings you here?"

"I came back and found my old house burned down. There's only a black half-burned tree left and some of the foundation. So my second choice where to go would be this place." He smiled sadly.

Pinako raised her eyebrows. "What kept you away all this time? A lot of things have happened, and trust me: most of them are not good ones."

Hohenheim looked at his feet. "I'm sorry I left. I'm so sorry. I got enemies. Dangerous ones that were too big threat. I didn't want to endanger my family. But now they're away. I'm free. No threats. So I wanted to see my family again."

"What kind of enemies?" Roy spat out.

"Roy, behave. Things need to get talked through. Come in Hohenheim."

"Thank you, Pinako. And as for the enemies, I can't tell you. Very secrets things." He sighed.

_He's going to take my family away… the family I almost got! __Damn it!_

Roy gave Hohenheim a mean look and lengthened his steps. He arrived to Al and still unconscious Ed before the others.

"How is he?" he asked as he sat down and laid his hand on Ed's cheek.

"I haven't managed to wake him up just yet. Is he really OK?" Al asked silently.

"It's just a shock and he has the right for it. But I think we have a problem."

Then Hohenheim and Pinako arrived.

"Edward… is he OK? He was fine just a while ago. What happened?" Hohenheim asked worriedly as he expedited to get to Ed. Then he glanced at Al. "Are you… Alphonse? Or?"

Al sighed. "Father..? What? Wait…You recognize me!" Roy could hear excitement in the younger teen's voice. He wasn't exactly thrilled about it. Not at all in fact.

That was the time when Ed moaned.

"Ed? Are you awake?" he immediately asked as everyone turned their heads.

"Mmmhnm." Ed stirred his eyelids. Then he opened them. Slowly.

"Roy..?" he moaned. He sounded tired.

"I'm here. Are you OK?" Hohenheim glanced at him. Roy was sure that he was figuring everything out already. The man didn't seem to be stupid.

"I think the adoption thing was too much. I'm imaging things. Please, don't put me in a mental hospital… or I'm going to kill you…" Roy shivered. The teen had just let everything out without even knowing that he did. And he was thinking that he was crazy…

_His mind must be really messed up._

"What adoption?"

"We'll clear things in a moment, I think you deserve to know what's been going on for the past 15 years, but can we at first make sure that he's alright? Thank you", Pinako said.

"Roy… the fancy man is still in here… Why does it look like people are talking to him..?" Ed grabbed Roy's hand and squeezed it hard.

"It's because you're not imaging. It's your father." He hated admitting it… at the moment he believed that the man would just be their imagination.

Ed laughed. "That's so funny, don't play tricks with me. You know that I hate it…"

Hohenheim touched Ed's cheek gently. Ed almost jumped up out of his realisation, which he wasn't admitting to himself.

"ARGH, IT JUST TOUCHED ME, TAKE IT OUT OF HERE! MAKE IT GO AWAY!"

Hohenheim tried to calm him down. His voice was soft and confident, and Roy found himself hating it. He hated how the man seemed to be a good father after all. He wasn't going to accept it. "It's OK, Ed, I'm back, you're not imaging. It's OK."

Ed shook his head. "No, no, no. I'm imaging. Go away." He trembled.

"He's in a shock. In it it's normal to refuse the reason what produced the shock. He'll believe it if we just give him a while", Roy said. He stroked Ed's hair and saw the envy on Hohenheim's face. He felt pretty pleased about it. He knew the fight was on.

"I can try to hold him, maybe it would help."

"I think that's a good idea. Hand him over to Hohenheim Roy."

"Excuse me? He's already out of his mind, and you're asking me to give him to someone who he thinks he's just imaging? How do you think he will react?" He snarled.

"Then you can keep his hand or something." Roy felt furious. But he did as he was asked to. Ed didn't take it well.

Ed started fighting against both of them. Mostly against his real father, but anyway. He screamed.

"Calm down, Ed. It's OK", Roy found himself repeating all over again.

_I just want to grab him and take him away of this situation. __I can't stand hearing him screaming out of fear. I've never heard him doing that before._

_  
_"ROY, HELP ME! HELP ME!"

_I can't… I'm so sorry Ed…_

"PLEASE! PLEASE, HELP ME, WAKE ME UP! WAKE ME UP, THIS IS THE WORST NIGHTMARE I'VE EVER HAD!" Tears were falling down Ed's face. Alphonse had frozen. Winry had arrived and froze in the stairs. Pinako was going to her.

_I can't take this… I can't bear hearing him scream… I can't let him down, he trusts me!_

"OK, THIS IS ENOUGH! Enough!" he yelled. Hohenheim let go.

"It wasn't working."

"Nice that you realised it as well! Now, maybe you'd better back away a little." He gave an icy glance for him.

"There's no reason to be that rude! He's my son! I repeat, _mine. _No matter you've been in here, trying to adopt him! He's my son!"

"No, he's not! He hasn't been your son in 15 years!"

"Stop it, you two! Stop it! You're freaking him out! Don't you think he has had enough already? He doesn't need you two fighting!" Winry yelled and pushed Roy away. She hugged Ed tightly. Ed seemed to hug her back.

"Winry, take me away from here… I don't care where, just take me away." His eyes were anguish and Roy felt bad.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, I don't know what got into me…" he whispered. Hohenheim lowered his head out of shame.

"Winry, take Ed and Al upstairs. I need to have a few words with these two. Privately."

"OK, granny… Al, help me."

She and Al dragged Ed upstairs. Pinako waited for the door to shut before she turned to see the two men.

"OK, have a seat, both of you. What you just did was unforgivable. I know that both of you are a little shocked as well, but it does not, I repeat, IT DOES NOT give you any rights to start fighting in front of a kid that is already in a big shock. Never, EVER let me see you two doing it again. And now, I think we need to tell what has happened during the past 15 years, and I'm going to need Roy's help to fill the spots I don't know."

* * *

Ed felt relieved when he realised that he was in his own, familiar bed in Resembool again. He grasped his blanket and curled his body. He knew his eyes were still wide, he could feel it. His mind was racing.

_This isn't real. It just isn't._

"Ed, are you alright?" he heard a soft voice. Winry.

"I don't know. This is a dream, right?"

"I'm sorry to say this, but it isn't. Accept it. Please." She stroked his hair.

Ed tried. He really tried. But he couldn't.

"I can't. It's not true. It just isn't."

"It is, brother. I know it shocked you, we almost got a new father, you already accepted the idea and now you don't get it, but you get your old one back. Isn't it nice? I always told you he would come back."

Winry looked at the two of them. "What are you planning to do? Are you just going to kick other away?"

"We can't do that."

"But you can't have both of them! They're going to kill each others… it won't work. You have to choose."

"But I don't know what our real father is like!"

They fell silent again. Thank god, Ed thought. He was slowly trying to accept the fact that his father was back. But it was hard.

"He can't be back", he whispered.

"He is, brother. What should we do? We can't kick him out without giving him a chance."

Winry clapped her hands together and smiled. "I know! Give them time… a month or two or three or whatever to try to prove which one would be better father to you! Then both of them would get a chance, you don't have to make your decision right now."

Al lowered his head. "Our father wasn't happy about Roy. He's our legal guardian now that he's back. I don't think he'll let Roy adopt us even if he'd fail."

"Just tell him that if he wants the best for you two, he'll fight fairly and let you have the father you want to have."

"I'm not sure if he'll listen!"

"Then disappear. If he managed to do it, you can do it as well."

Al thought about it. "But what about you?"

"Me? If you have to disappear, I'll come with you, of course!" She smiled.

Ed moaned. "Don't cut me out of your conversation. I hate to be ignored."

"It's a bit hard to talk about it with you when you don't believe that our father is back."

"Then I'll imagine. So, what was Winry's plan?"

* * *

So, this was today's update. It's pretty hard to find time to write a chapter when I have to use so many hours at school. But I managed.

Review people! I love reviews... I'm so amazed by the fact how many I've already got them. But I want more! Pretty please?


	10. The fighting couple

Ughh, it takes so long to update. I've been writing this since I got out of school...

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

**

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter **__**10  
**__The fighting couple_

Next day Ed woke up. He felt really tired. His body was limp and his mind was dreamy. He slowly let his memories of the past few days fill him. Then he realised that there was someone else in the room.

He opened his eyes and glanced at Hohenheim and Roy. They were staring away of each others, both scarily envious and sulky.

"Can you back away a little? You're creeping me out." He sat up on his bead and yawned.

"You're awake", Roy said smiling. Ed noticed that the smile was just an act. Hohenheim snorted.

"Nice remark. Though it was unneeded."

_Great… I guess he's real then, if he'__s still in here. And of course the two of them are fighting again… I should've guessed._

"Stop it. I'm not in the mood for you two to fight. I'm going to get breakfast." He stood up and started heading downstairs. The two men followed. Ed ignored them.

He arrived to the kitchen and saw Al giving Fluke some boiled fish.

"Morning, Al."

"Morning, brother. Feeling better?"

"A lot." Both of them were aware of the two men just behind Ed. And both of them decided to ignore them. Ed could hear Roy's foot tapping the floor. He was sure it was Roy's. He knew the sounds that he produced.

"I made those sandwiches to you." Al sat down. Ed sat towards him and grabbed the first sandwich. Hohenheim and Roy sat down.

_Ugh… That's enough, they're like orphan cats._

"Honestly, what do you think you're doing? Following me everywhere? That's nerve cracking." He bit his bread.

"What else would you expect? I haven't seen you two in 15 years and I heard last night that Trisha is dead. I just want to get to know you again. But I see no reason for him to follow you."

Ed sighed. "Roy, I need no protection. I can take care of myself."

"I don't trust him. He still hasn't told me what his enemies were."

"Fine! Then follow me, but when I'll get totally sick of it, someone's going to get hurt. If not many someones."

"Don't be aggressive, brother. They don't mean to piss you off. I told them about our decision."

Ed felt Fluke bumping to his feet and took him on his lap. He grabbed second sandwich. "You could've waited until I woke up. You have no idea how annoying it is to wake up and realise that those two are in the room."

"Ed, I need to get back to work. I have to get back to the office in three days, and that means that I have to leave today-"

Hohenheim smiled. "Good. See you someday again."

_This is not going to end up well…_

"We're coming with", Al said. "I want to get back to Central and Fluke has to see his new home! Is my room still there?" Hohenheim looked like someone would've slapped his hard.

"Of course it is! I've just cleaned up a little, otherwise it's just the way you left it." Roy smiled.

"Great! Can we visit the library once we arrive? There's not many books in here… and none of them are about alchemy. I've read a few automail books, but they're really boring."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? Automails are amazing!" Winry got in the room. "I just finished this one." She showed them a metallic arm.

"It's not as good as the one you made to me."

"I worked harder with that one. You just seem to break anything I'll give you, I've already started to plan your next one", Winry said, looking offended.

"I can't help it! They're not strong enough."

"You should keep yourself out of trouble!"

"Oh, really? I'm sorry if I seem to fight troubles everywhere! Our job isn't that easy…"

"So, you're going to Central? If it's so, I'll come with you", Hohenheim said. "I haven't been in Central for a while."

"CENTRAL? Again? Oww… Can I come with you? I don't have to work now that I finished this one, it would be great to visit Central once again. And I want to see Hughes, Gracia and Elysia!"

"I have one guest room, Winry can sleep in there. But then I have no room for anyone else", Roy quickly agreed without even asking Ed or Al.

Hohenheim gritted his teeth. "Then I'll stay in a hotel. But I'm coming with."

* * *

"I'm sick of them, Al! Can't they stop arguing even for a few minutes?"

Ed and Al were standing on top of the train. They had told the others that they needed to talk privately for a while. They knew that the others weren't going to look for them from the top for a while.

"I know, brother. They're both acting very immature. They're like kids. And we're the adults."

"Yeah, I feel like I'm trying to teach a one year old not to suck a thumb! It's impossible, I'm absolutely sick of them..!"

"Me too. This month is going to be like hell… they won't leave us alone even for a few minutes. We're lucky to get away this time."

"And I'm not going back in there before I need to go to sleep. It's just so annoying…" He sighed. "Where's Fluke?"

"I left him with Winry. She needs some other company than those two and I don't think it's safe for him to be in here."

"That's right."

_Poor Winry… I can't imagine how frustrated she must feel right now. It feels like the air freezes when the two of them are in the same room._

"I can't wait to get to Central. Then Roy has to go to work during days… And I'm sure we can escape if there's only one looking after us."

"But we need to give them a chance. What if we would give them shifts? It would be easier", Al said.

"That's a good idea! But we have to think about Roy's job. What if Roy would have mornings and nights and father days?"

"Maybe… though it's a little unfair. But still, I don't see any other option." They looked at each others.

"You know, Al… Everything's so messed up", Ed said quietly.

"Yeah… I know what you mean. It just happened so fast. And now this mess…"

"I wish the month doesn't take too long."

"Me too."

"HEY! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME IN THERE WITH THOSE MANIACS?" They saw Winry getting up on the roof.

"Winry! I don't think it's a good idea for you to come in here, it's easy to fall out", Alphonse said.

"I know. I've done it before. Fluke is with those maniacs, he just attacked them. I guess he didn't like their insults for each others as well." She sat next to them.

_Nice to hear that Fluke is on our side. I hope he's giving them a good lecture and once we'll get back they'd be pretty injured.

* * *

_

"Ughh… I'm tired."

"Me too."

"I can't really say anything in that."

"Maybe we should get back. They must be worried", Winry said.

"Yeah. But we're too tired to talk to them, OK? Al can lie so as well, say that your… your soul needs to rest."

"What a lie. I doubt it'll work, but I'll try."

"Good. Let's go back."

Once they arrived to their wagon, they heard low hissing sounds.

"So, you think you can just steal my children once I'm not in the picture? That's rude."

"Yeah, right, you abandoned them for 15 years! What did you think you were doing? I saw them suffering! I was the one who got their trust for a father back, and now you're trying to take all the credits!"

"Nobody asked you to waste your time!"

"My time wasn't wasted! They're my sons, I'll adopt them, no matter what!"

"Cut it. I don't like to hear you two fighting all the time", Ed noted as he stepped in.

"We weren't fighting. We were having a conversation", Roy tried to explain.

"Yeah, right. Where's Fluke?"

"Err… he attacked us so we put him on his transport means", Hohenheim said. "Here."

Al took the bored kitten out of the means. "Hello, Flukes! It must've been boring for you, are you hungry?"

The cat meowed and purred as Al started to look for the cat food. Ed and Winry sat down.

"You look tired. Do you want to sleep?" Roy asked them nicely.

"Yeah. Thanks for noticing; now I guess I don't have to explain it to you two", Ed said and yawned. Then he laid down on the bench and kicked his boots of. Winry was removing her own ones next to him.

"Do you need anything?" Hohenheim asked.

"Nope. Just silence and peace, if you can manage to do that." He closed his eyes and felt Winry laying down on the other side of the bench. He curled his body to give her more space.

Then he acted like the sleep would've taken over him.

* * *

_I enjoyed the train ride with only Ed much more than this one with that… guy. Ed must be really pissed off, I know I've acted like a kid, but it's just hard to think that he's giving that guy a second chance. He's MY son. I don't care about biology in this point. Ugh, I want to sleep. But I can't with this noise. I don't have Ed here… I don't feel Ed. I want to feel his head on my lap once again. I'm not letting him take Ed away from me. I need to calm down.

* * *

_

_I really trust him. I do. And I don't trust me own father just yet, I don't know what to think about him. But he looks so honest. I can't decide. I want to see which one calms down at first. I know it's hard for them, but I can't handle them that way. I just can't.

* * *

_

Days passed. Ed, Al and Winry noticed that the adults didn't fight that much anymore, but the tension was still there. But they couldn't really do anything for that. The train arrived to Central.

"At last! Let's drop our stuff to Roy's place and go to the library!"

"Wait, Al, we aren't all suits of armour!" Ed yelled as he sprinted after his brother.

"WAIT YOU TWO, DON'T LEAVE ME IN HERE!"

"I'll go to look for a hotel. I guess you have to go to work?"

"Yes. I'll just drop my things to my apartment. I'll see you later."

* * *

"Any clues, brother?"

"None. God, this is helpless! There must be something… something we haven't noticed. I can't remember the last time we got a lied. The philosopher's stone can't just disappear!"

Ed and Al were sitting in the library. They had tons of books on the table. Winry had disappeared when they had walked past automail books. What a surprise.

"I know. What if someone's trying to hide all the clues?"

"Then that someone has made a good job. This is helpless… I can't believe it."

"You look tired. Maybe we should get back to Roy's place so you can rest."

"Not now, Al. I'll go and get a coffee, OK? I'll be back soon."

He stood up and walked out of the library. He walked on the street, heading to the nearest café. The wind was cold, so he grabbed his coat tighter around him.

"Hello, shorty." Ed started turning to the voice when he felt something hit him hard. The blackness took over him.

* * *

"Yes, Maes, their father is back. God, this is getting complicated."

Roy was sipping tea with Maes Hughes. He had just told him everything that had happened during the days he was gone. He signed another paper and put in on top of the high paper-heap next to him. There was another, even higher one on the other side of him.

"Sounds so. God, I was so sure everything was going just fine. Now you just have to win that man. That's it. I know you and I know Ed, you can do it."

"You think so?"

"Yes."

Then the door opened revealing Alphonse, Winry and Hohenheim. Everyone seemed scared.

"Roy, is Ed in here?" Alphonse asked, looking around Roy's office.

"No… I thought he was with you. Is something wrong?"

"We were in the library and Ed decided to go and get a cup of coffee… he never came back. It was something like… 20 minutes ago? Or 25?"

"He never came back? Did you go looking for him?" Roy asked while standing up with Hughes.

"Yeah, we asked everyone who we saw… no one saw him. No one. We can't find him anywhere…" Winry cried. Hohenheim looked pale.

"Let's go and try harder. I'm sure Hawkeye will allow me… But it's better not to ask. Come on."

And with that they headed back to the streets of Central.

_God, Ed… you better be alright. You better be.

* * *

_

"Did anyone find him?" Hohenheim asked when they reunited in front of the Head Quarters after an hour.

"No. There's something wrong, Ed won't disappear without a reason."

"I might have an idea where he is…" Hohenheim said.

"Where? For god's sake, spit it out!"

"Remember the enemies I mentioned? Maybe there were more of them. I know where they hide, but it's dangerous to go in there. I nearly died the last time I was in there. They want me, not Ed."

Roy moaned. "And look. Just look. Are you telling that Ed might be captured by people who are after you?"

"I never said they were people."

* * *

Haa, the homunculi have Ed. I'm so evil...

REVIEW! Thanks for everyone who reviewed. And for everyone who read the story. It's so great to know that I have readers.


	11. His braid and life

_First thing I have to say is...  
_**I AM SO SORRY! I've been busy so I couldn't update faster. But I wrote this a little longer than my chapters usually are, so, enjoy!**

**As for the spelling mistakes: **I'm sorry for those as well! Very sorry! But... you know, you can't expect a 14 year old finnish girl to talk and write english perfectly. I'm trying my best in here... I hope your not that mad at me.

**And thank you, thank you everyone who reviewed! It's been amazing... Really amazing. Wow.**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own FMA._**

**

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 11  
**__His braid and life_

_What happened?_

Ed opened his eyes and wondered why he saw nothing but black. His head felt sore. Then he slowly noticed that there was a gag in his mouth and his eyes were covered. His feet were bound together and his automail arm was gone.

_Damn it… just my luck. So, who's the madman this time?_

He tried to move his left arm but noticed that he was handcuffed to something. Something that didn't move but just clattered when he tried to pull his hand away.

_Must be some sort of metal __pipe._

"Seems like our runt is finally awake", Ed heard a mocking voice saying. He growled. Someone kicked his stomach painfully. "Don't you whine, shorty."

_I AM NOT SHORT!!! I don't like this guy at all. Not at all._

"Envy, don't hurt him. We're not allowed to", a calm and bored sounding female voice said somewhere left.

"And you're going to listen to Dante? Don't you want to have a little fun with this runt now that we can? He's not getting out of this place anyway."

Ed tried to open the bounds but didn't manage. His wrist and ankles burned like hell.

"Don't hurt yourself, kid, if we're not allowed to do that, neither are you." With that he felt someone grabbing his braid and lifting him up. It didn't feel very pleasant.

"Ughh…" he managed to voice his opinion.

"So, what were we supposed to do once he wakes up?" said the man who was now opening his handcuff.

"Bring him to the hall to Dante."

"Then so be it."

_I don't think I want to see this "Dante" person._

He felt the man lifting him up on his shoulder and starting to walk.

* * *

"IF THEY'RE NOT PEOPLE THEN WHAT ARE THEY!?" Roy shouted at the man.

"Ever heard of… homunculi?"

"… I don't think so."

"Artificially created humans with no souls? Is that what you mean?" Al asked.

"Yes. They usually have some abilities."

"What kind of abilities?" Roy tried to get back to the conversation.

"Any kind of. I've seen one that could change himself to some sort of strong material. Hard to kill, but I managed. And they have multiple lives, because of the philosopher's stones that they've ate. At first you have to get them out."

"Doesn't sound easy…" Al voiced his opinion. "How are we going to get brother back?"

"As I said, they don't want him, they want me. I'm going in there and sacrifice myself for him." He lowered his head.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT! There's another way, there must be! I'm not letting you disappear again", Al screamed.

"Do you want your brother back or not? There's no other way, it's impossible to beat them when we don't even have any idea how many of them there is. I'm not letting my eldest son die because of me. I thought they were gone, but apparently they're not."

"Ed doesn't want you to sacrifice yourself. He trusts you", Roy noted. "He's missed you for a long time, how do you think he reacts if you go in there and give your life away to save his? And we can't be sure that they really are these homunculi, there's no evidence. He's in the military, so even someone who has grudge to the military might've kidnapped him. We can't be sure."

"But I have a strong feeling that that's what happened."

"Earlier you said that they were gone!"

"I know, but now Ed is gone and I have this feeling, so I'm not so sure about it anymore."

Roy sighed. "He really cares about you. He really does. Why do you want to sacrifice yourself without even trying to fight?"

Hohenheim raised his head and looked Roy straight in his eyes. "We can't win. And I don't want to give them time to hurt him. My job as a father is to protect my children. And even if I go there, there's still a possibility that I can't get him out alive. But I must try. And you, Roy, have to be here for him if I can't come back alive. He needs someone to take care of him… someone who he loves and who loves him as well."

* * *

Ed fell to the cold floor.

"You can take that cloth off of his eyes. I don't mind if he sees me."

He felt someone removing the cloth that covered his eyes. The light was so bright, he had to blink a few times before he could see clearly and his eyes still nettled.

He was in a huge hall. It was very elegant, and he would've bet that it was very old. The artistic engravings and pillars… very old-fashioned. The place was pretty beautiful. Then he remembered that he was kidnapped and started looking for this "Dante" person. He saw a green-haired man or woman, he wasn't quite sure which, his or her fashion style was so weird. That person reminded him about a palm-tree. How hilarious. Then he saw a curvy woman, dressed in a black dress and black boots. High heels… those were horrible. How could she stand them? He had no idea. Then he saw another woman, dressed nicely in a purple dress, not too festal, but still not something people usually wore everyday.

_So, here's supposed to be two women and a man… that means the palm-tree must be the man. I wouldn't have guessed, he must have no idea what kind of clothes he could find somewhere out there, because those are just… ugly. Simply ugly._

The woman in a purple dress stepped closer to him. She kneeled down and put her hand on his cheek, which he tried to turn away, not wanting any of these weirdoes touching him. His flesh hand was being held strongly back by the palm-tree guy.

"Hello, Edward. Nice to meet you at last." Ed tried to give a sarcastic answer, but the gag didn't allow him.

Woman's hand stroked his hair and brushed over his neck slowly as the woman seemed to sort of… study him. He didn't like it and tried to free his hand but the palm-tree guy tightened his grip so much that he could feel his hand slowly palpitating.

"You look very much like your father. Actually your features are much more handsome than his… You got the best parts of your parents. Golden hair and eyes, soft and innocent features. It's a miracle that you don't have a girlfriend."

Ed blushed.

_And AGAIN people are telling me how much I'm like my parents! I just hate it… When will they stop!?_

"Well, no I guess we just have to wait."

"Are you sure he comes?" the other woman asked.

"I'm sure. He doesn't want anything to happen to this little fellow in here…" Purple dressed woman stood up again. "My name is Dante. These are Lust and Envy."

Palm-tree guy named Envy snarled. "And you just had to tell our names to him?"

Dante smiled evilly. "We don't know how long time he'll be staying with us."

_God… Have anyone noticed my disappearance? Are Roy and dad and Al looking for me? Are they OK? I hope so… I can't do much while tied up without my right arm._

* * *

Roy and Hohenheim sat in Roy's car, Roy driving. Both were serious.

"You have to wait outside. No matter what, don't come in", Hohenheim said.

Roy gritted his teeth. "OK. And what if Ed's not leaving you? What if he stays?"

"Then we go to the plan B."

"And what is the plan B?"

"Then I'll produce an earthquake as sing for you to come in and drag him out quickly. But then you have to hurry up, I don't want you two to get hurt."

Roy smiled sadly. "And since when did you care about my health?"

"Since I decided to sacrifice myself for Ed. He has to have a father… even if I'm gone. And you've been there for him, so…"

"… I'd be the best option?"

"Yes."

* * *

"Are you hungry?"

Dante had kneeled down to him again. He didn't look at her. He just stared at one of the pillars.

"I asked you something, so how is it?"

He didn't turn his eyes away. He gave the woman no reaction.

"Sorry, I forgot the gag." He felt the gag taken away and took a deep breath. His mouth was dry. "Do you answer me now?" She stroked his hair gently. He tensed but didn't answer. "I suppose you are. Come on."

He felt this Dante person lifting him up. He barely managed to stand on his bound feet.

"Sorry, I can't open those. It would be too easy for you to escape. Envy! Carry this kid to the table."

He felt being lifted to the man's shoulder once again. He snarled.

"Shut up, pipsqueak."

BOOM! "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE KID THAT IS SO SMALL THAT IT'S TOO HARD TO SPOT SO YOU HAVE TO BIND HIS FEET TOGETHER SO HE CAN'T WALK BY HIMSELF SO HE CAN'T ESCAPE, BECAUSE IF YOU UNBIND HIM HE'LL SURELY RUN AWAY, BUT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE WHERE HE WENT BECAUSE HE'S SO SMALL THAT-!!!"

"THAT HURT! The nerve of that kid, why don't we just kill him right now!?"

"Stop it you two! And we're not killing him until we get Hohenheim in here."

They arrived to a big dining table in the room next to the hall. There was some food on the table.

"I am not eating", Ed stated.

"Yes you are. But I guess we can't really give you a fork or a knife… Envy, I guess you have to tie his hand in the chair and feed him."

"I AM NOT GOING TO BE EATING ANY FOOD THAT THAT PALM-TREE GUY PUTS IN MY MOUTH, THAT IS SO NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!"

"Who are you calling a palm-tree!?"

"You! And don't you dare to-"

With that he felt someone slamming him against the wall. He hit his head and there was a hand trying to choke him on his neck. He couldn't breathe.

"ENVY! PUT HIM DOWN, NOW!"

"That's not a tone you can use while talking to your older brother!" Envy snarled. Ed decided that the guy wasn't quite stable. He couldn't answer because of the lack of air in his lungs.

_He's so out of his mind… Older brother? Let me laugh! Haha!_

Then Envy was thrown away from him and he fell to the ground.

"SHUT UP, ENVY! Don't tell him anything he doesn't need to know!"

Ed closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Then he felt Dante kneeling down next to him, again. He hated when people kneeled down.

"Are you alright?" She tried to hug him but Ed pushed her away with his only hand.

"Don't come near to me!" he hissed angrily.

"Come on, Edward."

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

Dante didn't come closer. She just sat there staring at him. Envy was sulking in the other corner of the room.

"I like your braid", she stated.

"Excuse me?"

"I said that I like your braid."

"Yeah, right, like I needed to know that. Shut up."

"Don't talk to me like that." Her eyes were cold.

"I talk to you any way I want to! I don't give a shit about kidnapper's orders!"

"Envy, bring me the scissors."

"What?" the green-haired man asked, disbelieving.

"I told you to bring me scissors. Now."

Envy went to get scissors. Ed tried to roll away but Dante stopped him.

"Now you're going to pay for your words." She took the scissors and grabbed Ed's hair. Ed's eyes widened out of shock and he wiggled to get away.

"NO! DON'T CUT MY HAIR, DON'T DO IT, PLEASE! PLEASE, DON'T TOUCH MY BRAID!"

"You can't learn if I don't do this." She pulled the braid closer. Ed screamed. Tears were brought to his eyes.

_No… not my braid… Not my braid… NO!_

With that he heard a soft click and fell forward, because there was no one holding him back anymore. His hair felt too light. He couldn't sense his braid against his back anymore.

"NO!"

He felt someone holding him. He started to cry.

"I'm sorry. But you have to learn not to talk to me like that. Besides, it was a beautiful braid."

"My braid… _MY BRAID_!"

* * *

"So, this is the place?"

Roy and Hohenheim stood in front of a large building in an underground city.

"Yes. Don't let them know that you're here. I'll try to get him out."

"Be careful. I want the both of you coming back alive."

Hohenheim smiled. But his eyes weren't smiling with him. "Take care of my sons…"

"Don't you give up now!"

Hohenheim didn't answer but opened the door.

* * *

Ed lay on the hall again. He hadn't said anything after the incident with his hair. He hadn't eaten anything they were trying to force him to eat… He had just being there, not fully aware of the things around him.

_My braid…_

He sniffed but didn't move. The two women and the palm-tree guy were standing close to him. They were talking, but Ed didn't care. He didn't care about anything, but the braid loosely in the woman's hand.

_My mum always said that she would've wanted me to have a long hair and a braid… She always wished that one day I would allow her to leave my hair long and braid it. She never managed… My braid…_

The door opened. Ed rolled to see his father coming in.

"I'm here, Dante. Now, let my son go."

Dante turned to face him, smiling. "I don't think so. I want to make sure you're really gone… And then, why not have a little fun and kill him as well?"

"I'll let you finish me with no complains if you let my son go."

Dante sighed and walked slowly to Ed. She lifted him on his feet.

"He's a sweet boy. But I'm not letting him go." She brushed her fingers against his neck and slowly under his shirt. Ed shivered and tried to get away but she wouldn't let him. "Do you think he's still innocent?"

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCHING MY SON WITH THOSE FILTHY FINGERS OF YOURS!" Hohenheim bellowed.

"And why not? He has a gorgeous body, it's hard to resist." She pulled Ed closer.

"Hands off me", Ed snarled. Dante didn't pay attention.

"You are not touching my son, now let him go!"

Dante laughed. "Are you sacrificing yourself for your son?" Ed aroused.

"What? Of course he isn't!"

Dante lifted Ed's face slowly and gently so he could see her better. "Of course he is. Just look at him and you'll see."

"STOP IT!" Ed wiggled and Dante let go of him. He lost balance because of his bound feet and fell roughly against the floor.

That was when Hohenheim noticed the missing part of his son's hair. "Did you cut his hair?"

Dante waved the braid. "Yes. He was a bad boy and he needed to get punished."

Hohenheim's eyes narrowed. "Unbind his feet and let him go."

Dante sighed. "I thought we already got through this."

"I'm not finished! Let him go."

Dante lifted Ed up again. "So, are you going to leave your father in here if I let you go."

"No."

"EDWARD! You're getting out of this building!" Hohenheim yelled to his son.

"No."

"Don't you dare not to follow your father's orders!"

"I will if they don't make any sense!"

"He's going. Free him and he'll go."

"I'm not going, father! I'm not leaving you alone!"

Dante turned to Lust and Envy. "Finish him."

Next thing Ed realised was that his father was lying on the ground, already dead. Lust's extended finger had pierced his heart.

"What..!? NO! FATHER! FATHER!"

Dante hugged him as he wiggled and used all his energy to get to his father. "DAD!"

"We're going to take away everything you love… Everything you think are yours", Dante whispered to his ear.

"LET GO OF ME! FATHER! DAD!" He bit Dante in her hand. She slapped him but didn't let go.

"Behave. Now, I think it's better to go somewhere else."

"NOOO! DAD! GET UP, DAD! GET UP!"

Envy sighed. "He's already dead, pipsqueak. Screaming won't bring him back."

"Now, come on, Ed. Let's go."

The door opened.

"Let go of the kid or you're going to regret the day you were born."

Roy Mustang was standing on the doorway.

* * *

Oh, I'm so evil.

Thanks for reading! Review, please!


	12. Why don't you recognize me?

I wasn't feeling extremely creative today, but whatever. I'm sorry if this sucks.

**Disclaimer: I still don't own FMA. And I don't even want to, because if I would own it, it wouldn't be as great as it is.**

**

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 12  
**__Why don't you recognize me?_

_God, Ed's gotten himself in a big mess. I can't leave him alone for a few hours without anything like this happening._

Roy quickly checked everything in the room. He saw Hohenheim laying on the ground, blood spilled everywhere around him. A pool of blood. Not a pleasant view at all. Then he turned his gaze back to Edward and his captors.

"Let him go or you'll become ash", he threaded.

Dante waved her short hair slightly and smiled. "Another stupid man. You just never learn. Maybe I should kill you as well?"

"You can try if you want to."

Dante laughed. "You can still go back unharmed. It's either go and live or stay and die."

"I'm not leaving without Ed." Roy looked at the teen whose tears were running freely down his cheeks. He looked more like a little kid than ever. Roy felt a sudden urge to protect him more than ever. He took a step closer.

"Not without him, eh? But that would be no fun. I don't want this precious piece of art leave just yet. Actually I don't want him to leave at all… at least alive. I'll send you his body when I get tired of him."

"You won't get a chance." Roy snapped his fingers.

* * *

"Do you think they're OK? Do you think they'll get Ed back?" Al asked. He and Winry were sitting in Roy's apartment, Winry buried deep in the easy chair. Al walked in a circle, more nervous than ever.

"I don't know. I wish I knew… I hope they're OK…" Winry sniffed. She felt a tear on her cheek and wiped it away. "It's weird… you never actually know how much you care about someone before you truly and honestly know that they might be dead. I don't want Ed to die… I don't want anyone of them to die, but Ed… He just isn't supposed to even be there."

"I know. I want my brother back… I want him back alive… And I want our father back, I haven't even got time to get to know him better! How stupid have I been..!"

Winry sighed heavily. "This is going to be a long night."

* * *

Ed felt the sudden heat rushing over him. He felt Dante letting go of him and next thing he realised was that he was laying on the floor. Again. He started to crawl to his father.

_He can't be dead… He's still alive, I know it. I know it. He can't be dead. Not now. Not yet._

There was another explosion and screaming. Nobody paid attention in him which was a miracle. He reached his father and laid his cold and pale hand on his cheek.

"Wake up… please, don't leave me again… wake up", he managed to whisper out of despair. "Don't you leave me… Don't…"

He tried to find the pulse, but didn't manage. His father wasn't breathing. His body was cold and stiff. His eyes were open, staring at nothing. The sparkle of life had left them. Ed took his hand on his owns.

"Why… Why!? Why did you come? Why did you do it, why is it that everyone around me die?" he sobbed. "I'm a monster… I'm a monster, everyone around me die. Everyone."

He closed his father's eyelids and watched his own blood covered hands.

_Everyone…_

He raised his head.

_around me…_

He felt the blood under his knees.

_die…_

He raised his head and saw Roy fighting against the three captors.

* * *

Roy avoided the deathly fingers and snapped his fingers after every few seconds. One against three. So unfair. And the thing that one of them seemed to be changing his form into everyone's forms that were important to him wasn't helping him at all. But he didn't hesitate one bit, he blew up Hughes, Hawkeye, Alphonse and many other people. It hurt him, but knowing that they were unreal helped him a lot.

Dante wasn't a homunculus. He sensed it… her eyes weren't purple and she avoided his flames much more carefully than the other two that blew up every now and then. But she was quick… he couldn't hit her with his flames.

Suddenly the form shifter turned to Ed.

Roy blinked. He knew it would come, but it wasn't helping.

He saw two Eds.

He avoided a few hits again and watched the other Ed knocking the other one out. He didn't know which one was real.

_Damn it… I can't risk his life by guessing…_

He finally managed to hit Dante who fell to the floor, dead. He kicked the curvy woman out of his way and knocked the other Ed out as well. It was the best option. He sent a few flames after the woman and dragged both Ed with him out and ran.

He ran for his life. And the life of Ed.

* * *

Ed felt the darkness fading slowly away. A huge headache became and his whole body felt sore. He opened his eyes… and realised that he was tied up in a chair.

"What the heck is this…" he muttered weakly.

"Good, now one of them is awake."

_Al? What is he talking about..? And why am I tied up in a chair if I'm not in that place anymore? And where's dad?_

He stared blankly in front of him. The memories gave him headache. He didn't want to remember.

"How can we know which one is him?" Winry asked. Ed blinked and turned to her.

"Excuse me? What are you talking about?" Then he saw another Ed tied up in a chair next to him. "What the..!?"

Roy, Winry and Al were sitting on the sofa in front of them.

"Untie me, for god's sake!"

"I'm not sure if that's brother. He doesn't believe in god."

"I don't believe in god, you idiot! That's a saying!"

"And his hair is short."

Ed grinned. "Shit… so they really cut it… I wished it was just a dream."

The other Ed started to wake up.

"What the..!?"

They stared at each others. Ed groaned. "You're so dead..!"

"Cut it! What if we would ask them questions?" Roy suggested.

Ed watches as the other "Ed" looked at Roy, hurt shining from his face. "Don't you recognize me?" he whispered. Ed felt like kicking himself… that other "Ed" knew how to act. And he was in there acting totally out of his character. His mind was so messed up.

"Don't listen to me!"

"Shut up, you clone!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CLONE, YOU CLONE!"

"The questions sound right for me. Though I think that's not Ed."

"Al, damn it! I thought you would recognize me!" Ed yelled.

"He's not my brother, my brother doesn't yell at me like that!"

"We can't be sure, he's got through a lot. It wouldn't be a surprise if he'd be a little messed up", Roy said. "Let's go to the kitchen to think about the questions."

"Hey! Don't leave me in here alone with that… who ever that is!" the other "Ed" shouted.

"You're the who ever you are, because I'm Edward! And do you think that I want to stay in here with you, you maniac..!"

"We'll be right back. Sorry, Ed." Ed noticed that Roy meant his words to the other "Ed". He couldn't help but feel betrayed.

_Doesn't he recognize me… doesn't anyone of them recognize me?_

He felt growing coldness inside of him.

_And I thought that he cared about me… And I thought…_

His mind was so messed up. He just wanted to scream. Scream and brake everything around him.

_I thought that he'd always be there for me… I thought… I thought that he would take care of me!_

Roy walked out of the room. Ed swallowed and bit his lip.

Never had he felt so damn betrayed before.

Never.

* * *

Ed didn't say a word to the other Ed. He didn't even look at him. He stared purposefully away. He couldn't bear seeing the fake. The fake that was taking everything away from him…

"_We're going to take away everything you love… Everything you think are yours"_, Dante's words screamed in his mind.

He bit his lip and felt and tasted the blood in his mouth. He tasted it's bitter taste, he felt the burning pain. He shut his eyes.

"This is going to be easy, isn't it? I know so much about you. Soon they'll kill you by their selves… that'll be fun to watch."

Ed didn't answer.

_Would they really kill me..? Maybe. Most likely. I don't want to die. But then I'd get back to mum and dad… at least they'd recognize me… wouldn't they? Does anyone really care about me? Does anyone see who I am before it's too late?_

"You screwed everything up by yourself, remember that. You don't act like yourself. I've been spying you for a few years… shocking isn't it? That stupid Hohenheim thought that we had no idea about his family… how wrong can a man be? He was so stupid that he died. It was just what he deserved."

"Don't… don't talk about him like that!" Ed muttered.

"Ow, got your tongue back? Too bad. It was nice when you said nothing." The other Ed straightened up into a more comfortable position on his chair. He stretched his neck. Ed didn't bother. He enjoyed the pain, he enjoyed it's torturing and satisfying beauty while everything was turning against him. That's how he wanted to live the last seconds of his hellish life… in pain.

Roy, Al and Winry got back in the room. They sat down.

"OK, you can answer by turns. You", Roy pointed at Ed, "will be the first one to answer."

"So… what is my favourite animal?" Al asked.

"A cat", the other Ed said. Ed turned to face him.

"It was my turn!"

"I just saved you… you wouldn't have known the answer anyway."

"That is not true!"

"Stop it. And answer only when it's your turn", Winry groaned.

"Uhh… so, what do you hate?" Al asked again.

"That's unfair, I hate so many things. Milk, death, insane and bad guys. And formal clothes, they're ugly and uncomfortable."

"He really hates those things."

"But I also hate jewels, bikes, Winry's wrench, Roy's stupid missions and candies", the other Ed spat out.

"He hates those as well", As sighed. "Your turn, when did we burn our house down?"

"October 3rd. I even engraved that date in my silver clock."

Ed was starting to feel helpless. He felt like everyone paid attention to that… fake. He felt like they had already decided, he hadn't even gotten a chance. It felt bad.

_I want to die. I don't want it to go on anymore. I don't want to see the people I care about ignoring me and paying attention to that fake. I'm sick of this. I want to end it all, right now._

"OK, I have no chances. I give up", he said. Everyone looked at him. The fake seemed the most surprised.

Roy got up and Ed felt Roy kicking him in his stomach as his chair fell back. He cried out of surprise.

"So, you admit that you were one of his kidnappers? DO YOU? I can't hear you?"

Ed didn't answer, he just tried to get rid of the strings tying him in the chair. He felt someone hitting him with a wrench.

"HOW COULD YOU? AND DON'T YOU TRY TO GET AWAY!"

He saw Al letting the fake one go. He felt like puking.

"Kill me."

* * *

Ugh, Ed's suicidal. And they don't know that it's him.

Review people! I love reviews, thank you so much who have reviewed so far! Tell me your opinion!


	13. Hold your loved ones close to you

Haa, new chapter up. I hope you enjoy it. Lots of angst.

**Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. FMA. And. That. Is. It.**

**Thank. You.**

**

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 13  
**__Hold your loved ones close to you_

_He looks scary standing over me, looking at me with those eyes. Those eyes that once were so warm, that I felt were protecting me, always watching over me. They're so black… and cold. Is this how it ends? To see someone I care about so much, so bloody much, killing me, in order to protect me? This is pretty ironic. He's trying to help me, but he's hurting me more than ever. Even more than when he kicked me out._

Ed felt a cold shiver going through his back. His eyes were wide open and dull. He saw flashes of his past.

_Mum… Father… Al… Winry… Roy… ROY. AL. ROY._

He whimpered as he felt someone grabbing the front of his black shirt and pulling his chair back up. He felt blood running down from his hairline.

"Maybe I should kill you", Roy snarled furiously. Ed saw bitter and satisfaction in his eyes. He said nothing. Then Roy smiled evilly. "But it can wait for tomorrow. I want to have time to decide which way would be the best one to execute you."

"Feel free to do that. And make sure it hurts."

"No problem with that. Al, help me bind his legs and arms." Ed felt cold metal against his skin as his left arm was pulled back. Someone bound his together and his right arm against his side when Al bound his left arm tightly in the sofa's leg.

"Now he's not able to escape. Even if he's able to perform alchemy. Make sure he has nothing to draw a circle with", Roy said, stepping on Ed's back painfully. Ed grinned.

"I won't escape. No need to worry. There's nothing left for me."

"Come on, Ed. You need some sleep", Ed heard Winry saying. His face was against the floor so he couldn't see anyone.

"Be careful with him. For your own good. He's unstable", he snarled silently.

"That's nothing you should worry about", he heard Al's response. He felt a hot tear in his eye as he heard the footsteps getting farer away from him.

_Tomorrow it'll be over._

* * *

A several hours later Roy woke up. Something just… something was wrong. Something kept him awake. He didn't know what it was. Maybe he couldn't sleep because he had a dangerous enemy right in the lounge? He got up. He needed to check Ed up.

He opened the door and got in. He kneeled down next to the boy's bed. He looked somehow… different. Not physically, but there was just something weird in him. Something that didn't fit.

The realisation ran over him. The kid slept on his stomach. He had never done that. Ed always slept curled up. Always. He didn't know why, the kid just did. But now Ed was sleeping on his stomach, peacefully. It just felt… wrong. The kid had gone through a lot in the past day, how could he be so peaceful?

He heard a silent moan. But it didn't come from Ed. But it sounded like him. He got up and walked fast to the lounge, where he found a little blond boy curled up, shifting his sides, moaning and whimpering. There was a grin on his face, his breathing was heavy. Roy knew Ed, he knew Ed's nightmares and sleepless nights, he had been there for him for so many times. This was Ed, not that other one. They had picked wrong.

He held his head, Ed's words piercing his head.

"_Kill me."  
_

"_Feel free to do that. And make sure it hurts."_

"_I won't escape. No need to worry. There's nothing left for me."_

"God, Ed… what have I done..!"

* * *

"_Wake up, Ed… wake up…"_

He was holding his father's bloody and cold, motionless body in his hands. Blood was everywhere…

"_Come on, Ed… I'm sorry… Wake up…"_

His hands were covered with blood, his clothes were wet and blood soaked, his hair was dripping the way too familiar crimson liquid…

_Ed, wake up…_

Everything was so cold, everything was so weird, time had frozen, there were bodies around him, his father, mother, Nina and many others that he didn't even recognize… he screamed…

"Edward, wake up…"

He opened his eyes and breathed heavily. He sensed someone next to him, but didn't pay attention. He felt tears, hot and burning tears on his cheeks. He coughed and shut his eyes again. Someone hugged him.

"I'm so sorry, Ed, I'm so sorry… I should've known…"

_Roy..?_

Roy cut his binds and lifted him on his lap. Ed buried his face in the older man's chest and sobbed.

"You should've just killed me…"

Roy held the kid tighter, stroking his golden hair. It felt weird with the usual braid part gone. But the hair was the same, the same rich honey-scent and silky and thick soft golden locks that glowed in the dark. "Why do you want to die?"

"It was my fault… everything's my fault, I don't deserve anyone, everyone around me die… everyone… die…" Ed's voice was hoarse and desperate.

"It wasn't your fault."

"It was… I should've been more careful… I don't want you to die as well, kill me… kill me…"

"No, Ed. I'm not killing you."

"I want to die… you can't do anything for it… You can help me…"

"Yes, I can help you to get that stupid idea out of your head. None of those deaths in your past was your fault. None of them. People love you, Ed, you can't leave them. You can't leave your life before you're finished."

"I am finished… I don't want this to go on, I'm a monster, I want to die…" Roy felt hot tears against his neck. The kid had never cried like that before… never in his presence. "There's blood in my hands… I can't get it out, I can't wash it away… There's blood everywhere…"

"No, there's not. Now, listen, wait just a second in here. Don't do anything stupid, promise me? I'm going to get that shape shifter in here and tie him up." He tried to move away but Ed grabbed the front of his shirt and looked up. Roy was scared to see him, his mind must've been really messed up, he looked like a lost and scared little kid. A kid that needed to be protected.

"Please… don't leave me…"

"I'm not leaving you, I'll be right back", he tried to calm him down.

"No… I don't want to be alone… I don't want to, it's so dark…"

"Calm down, Ed, I'll be right back, there's nothing to worry about. Just give me a minute, OK?"

No… No! Please, don't go, I can't do it, I can't stand it, they're everywhere… they're here… I want to die! Kill me!"

"No, Ed, and if you don't stop now I'm going to tie you up." Ed's words hurt him, he knew that the kid didn't mean them, he didn't really want to die, he was just so messed up. But it still hurt. Hearing his son, begging him to kill him.

Ed started crying even more hysterically. "Why can't you just let me rest? Why can't you just let me give up?"

"Because you're my son. And your real father asked me to take care of you… and I want to take care of you. And right now, I think you need me more than ever." He led Ed to the sofa and made him sit down. "Just wait in there… don't do anything stupid. For Al's sake. For my sake. Don't do anything stupid." Ed sniffed but didn't answer. Roy sighed. "You better behave."

Roy rushed upstairs and lifted the fake from his bed.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Roy!? What are you doing?" Then Roy punched him in his face. He heard fake's nose breaking.

"That was for almost letting me kill Ed." Then he pressed the other Ed against the wall and started binding his limbs.

"That is not fun, Roy!"

"Don't you play with me!" With that Roy threw the fake Ed on the floor. Winry and Al rushed in.

"What the heck are you doing!? BROTHER!"

"It's not your brother, Al! Your brother is downstairs. Can you bring that one to the lounge, I'm going to check Ed out. He's not completely sane right now." With that he left.

"Ed…?" The lounge was empty. "Ed! Where are you, god damn it, answer!"

"I'm in here", he heard a whisper behind him.

"Thank god, I was so… Ed, what are you doing?!" Ed was holding a gun. His gun. He had it limply on his right hand. "Put it down, Ed. Now."

Ed took a step back and shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Roy felt anger for himself and fear. Fear for Ed. "Ed, don't do anything stupid. You're not thinking clearly…"

"Shut up! SHUT UP!" Ed lifted the gun on his temple. Roy shivered.

"Please, Ed, don't! Don't do it!"

"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!"

"Brother, what the..!? What are you doing?!" Ed turned. Roy jumped forward and hit the gun out of Ed's hand.

"NO! GIVE IT BACK, YOU..!" Roy grabbed Ed from his waist and dragged him farer away from the gun. "LET GO OF ME! LET GO, PLEASE, LET ME JUST END IT!"

"What the heck were you thinking?!" Roy yelled at the boy. Ed broke back to the tears and screamed. He held his head and screamed as loud as he could. His throat became sore. Sorer, sorer, sorer…

Roy wrapped his arms around the boy. "That's good, just let it come out. It's OK, Ed, just let it all come out…" The teen trembled and tried to hit him. He still screamed and cried. It was like it was never going to end. Like it would go on like that forever… forever…

Alphonse and Winry had dropped the fake Ed on the floor and stared at the two of them. It was so weird… Everything felt so wrong and sad. They had made wrong choices, wrong choices that had worsened Ed's already unstable state. Winry cried and Al felt like crying, but he couldn't really do that. He had betrayed his brother, his brother who trusted in him, the brother who he was supposed to take care of…

Ed buried his head on Roy's chest and scratched his cheeks, leaving red marks.

"Shhh, don't hurt yourself. Everything's going to be alright. Everything's going to be alright. Just… don't scare us like that again." He moved forward and back again, rhythmically, holding Ed on his hands.

"I don't even deserve to live..."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't…"

"You do, Ed, more than many other people that live. You're young, you still have the whole world waiting for you." He kissed the boy's forehead and stroked his hair. "Come on, you need to rest." He got up and lifted Ed up bridal style. "You two, bind that one in something so he can't crawl away and go to sleep."

"I… I can't leave brother alone, what if he tries to do something again..?"

"Don't worry about it, I'm going to take care of him." With that he started to walk in his room. He laid Ed down on his bed. It was made for two.

"I'm not letting you sleep alone in your room tonight."

"Bastard…"

"You caused that by yourself." He pulled the blankets on Ed. "Try to get some sleep." He laid down to the other side of the bed. Ed curled up against his chest.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"

"It's OK, Ed. Never do it again, you almost gave me a heart-attack."

"I'm so sorry… I'm… so… sorry……" With that Ed fell asleep.

* * *

"Do you think he's OK?" Winry asked Al nervously.

"I hope so… Roy's going to take care of him."

"He got through a lot."

"Yeah. But he's going to pull through it… he always does."

* * *

Next morning Ed woke up. He was feeling comfortable, warm and safe. He noticed that he was still curled up against Roy's chest.

"Mnngh…"

"So you finally woke up. It's already 1 p.m.", Roy said smiling. He was holding a book in his hands.

"I don't think I'm going to get up just now…" he mumbled and buried his head in his pillow.

"How are you feeling?" Roy asked worriedly.

"I'm fine."

_The blood… seeing him falling… holding his dead body… yeah, I'm definitely alright._

"Are you really?" He didn't answer.

"You know… I ruined everything. He was there for several days, and I never really talked to him. I never really tried to get to know him, I always thought that 'Yeah, I'll do it tomorrow' but it looks like there wasn't enough tomorrows left. It just… it happened so fast. I just would've wanted to get to know him, but now I don't have any chances left. Now he's gone… there's no hope for him coming back anymore. There's no hope…" He bit his lip. Roy hugged him.

"I… I remember him falling. I remember the blood, it was everywhere, there was just so much of it, it covered my hands, it splashed under my knees… his body was so stiff and cold, his eyes were unfocused and… and…" he babbled.

"It must be hard. Now you've seen both of your parents dying…"

"It just happened so fast. At first he was yelling and then he was in the floor, everything was red…"

"Shh, It's alright Ed."

"You just don't get it… you don't understand…"

"I know that I don't. I can always try to, but I can never truly understand."

"It was just… the blood was everywhere…"

"I know. I saw it."

"I… I want to get his body back. I want to bury him. Next to mum."

"I don't know if it's safe to go in there and get his body back."

"I… I need to bury him. I just have to."

Roy sighed. "Alright, I'll look what I can do."

"Make it quick!"

"I will, Ed. I will."

* * *

Done. Yup yup. I mean this chapter is done, the fic isn't finished yet. I don't know when it will be.

Review people! I love reviews... I just love them... It's a miracle how little amount of readers review. I want to see everyone reviewing! No need to be shy!


	14. Bitter scent

I just realised how horrible blood really smells when our home got blood everywhere... Ughh... horrible... I felt like puking...

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

**

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 14  
**__Bitter scent_

_The sweetish scent of the bright but still so dark crimson liquid… its thick scent that doesn't seem to go away… I feel like vomiting… It just doesn't seem to go away… Its thick and bitter, oh so bitter, taste in the corner of my mouth, my clothes are covered with it, they just lay limply on me, slightly stiffly… The cold flesh, the cold stares… My shaking hands… Scream… scream… scream… scream……_

Ed woke up screaming. He sat up and vomited next to his bed. His sight was spinning, never focusing… The bitter and still so ugly sweetish scent was around him… it came from his own body…

"Ed, are you alright?" he heard someone asking concerned. He tried to focus his eyes in the figure walking to him. He felt someone putting a hand on his shoulder. He swallowed and broke to tears.

"The smell… I hate the smell, I can't stand it, it's everywhere…" he babbled. "I can't wash it away… it just doesn't go, it stays, no matter what I do, it's everywhere…"

"Shh. It's OK, Ed, we can go later today to a shop to look for something that could cover the smell, OK? You just have to get some sleep", Roy said gently.

"No, no, no, I can't sleep, the smell is everywhere, it's in my dreams, it's just everywhere…"

"Do you want to sleep in my bed?"

"No, I don't want to sleep, I can't sleep, please, don't force me…"

Roy sighed.

_He's so messed up. The scent is almost gone already, but he can smell it so clearly. How does he do that? Maybe I should put him in some kind of therapy. Maybe it could help. But I don't think he wants to go._

Roy wasn't actually in a good mood. He was really concerned. Last nigh the shape shifter, who appeared to be called "Envy" had escaped. Nobody had noticed before 2. p.m. Nobody had just wanted to go near the unstable weirdo so they had all avoided the lounge. Now they had the result: an enemy somewhere out there.

"Please, Roy… I can drink a coffee and go and spend the rest of the night with Al, you can go back to sleep, I promise we keep it quiet, just don't force me to sleep again!"

"I won't if you don't want to. But then you have to promise me that you'll sleep next night."

Ed shrugged. "I don't want to sleep."

"Your body needs sleep, you can't avoid it forever, it's impossible and it's not healthy. I'm just thinking the best of you."

"But I don't want to sleep, I don't want to… The blood is just… it's everywhere…"

Roy hugged the kid lightly. "I know it's hard. Trust me. Go to Al, I'll clean up this mess…" he looked at the vomit on the floor.

"I'm so sorry, I can clean it by myself, you can go to sleep…"

"No, just go to Alphonse. I'll take care of it." He led the kid out of the room. "Make sure you don't wake Winry up."

"We won't. Thanks…"

"No need to thank. Just go." He watched the kid trail to the room next door. He sighed.

_How long is it going to be like this..? It's been a day now. His second night knowing that his father is gone. __Last night he slept so well, but somehow I have a feeling that it's all going to change now… God. I just want him to be alright again…_

He grinned. Now he just had to clean the mess up.

* * *

"Al?" Ed asked silently as he opened the door.

"Brother! What are you doing in here, you should sleep!" Al whispered. He was laying on his bed, one old purple book in his hand and a bunch of other books on his night table. Ed smiled nervously.

"Couldn't sleep. Can I come in?" he asked.

"Sure… " Al put the book on the floor and made space for Ed. Ed sat down on the bed as well.

"What was the book about?"

"What? Oh, that, it's… err… it's a novel."

"Yeah, what's the novel about?"

"Ehh… don't laugh, please… it's a romance novel. It's sweet, really…" Ed was sure that if Al would've been able to blush, he would've looked strangely familiar to a tomato.

"I would've guessed. But if you like it, then you like it. There's no need to be ashamed."

"You… you think so?"

"Yes. You shouldn't be ashamed of things like that. Everyone have their own taste, and you're certainly not the only person who likes that book. Books won't get published if nobody likes them." He gave Al an encouraging smile.

"Thanks, Ed."

"Don't you worry about it! I just said the truth."

They sat in silence for a while. Ed took a more comfortable position, straightening his back, shoulders and neck. He just felt so tired…

"Al, do you want to come and get me some coffee?" He yawned.

"Brother, if you're tired you should sleep."

"I can't and I don't want to. Are you coming or not?" He got up.

"Of course I'm coming." They walked to the kitchen and Al sat down when Ed started to prepare coffee.

"I didn't know that you drink coffee", Al said after a while when Ed sat down as well with a cup of coffee. He sipped before answering.

"Usually I don't. Just when I feel really tired. It's a little bitter… I don't like milk so I drink it black and… sugar just doesn't belong in it. No idea why, it just doesn't."

"OK. Are you alright?"

"What?"

"You're not sleeping and you look a little shaken up. Are you alright?"

Ed stared at the coffee. "I'm fine, Al, don't worry about it. I'll be perfect after a while again, I just need some time."

"I think that Roy thinks so too. He takes care of us and all, but he hasn't mentioned the adoption at all. It's a shame, actually… I really like him."

"I already forgot the adoption! Oh god… How could I?"

"A lot of things have happened, it's normal."

"No, it's not! How can I forget something so big… God, am I just stupid?"

"No, brother, you're not stupid! Things just got really messed up right after it."

Ed sipped the coffee. "Do you think he even wants us anymore?" he whispered.

"What? Of course he does… He has really acted like a father, I think he just thinks we need some time."

"Are you sure? Am I annoying, Al? God, I've ruined his life, I can't even let him sleep… God, he certainly must hate me."

"No he doesn't, stop being stupid, Ed. He'll bring it up again when he thinks we're ready."

"You think so, Al?"

"I know so. Just look at him, he's just thinking the best of us. Hey, could you give me the milk, I think Fluke's thirsty…" The fluffy kitten was meowing under Al's chair.

"Ughh… why me? I don't want to touch that… that… nasty thing." He grinned.

"Come on, Ed, just hand it over!"

Ed gave Al the milk. Then he got up and washed his hands. "Ughh… have to wash away the microbes…"

"Brother, you must be kidding, it's not that horrible…"

"Oh, yes it is! Eww… nasty white milk… eww eww eww..!" He rubbed a lot of soap in his hands. Al sighed and took Fluke's drinking bowl and filled it with milk.

"Good kitty, Fluke!"

"You really like that cat, don't you?" Ed smiled.

"Of course! At last I have a cat, I've always wanted one… and Fluke's just so lovely!"

"Sure he is Al…" Ed sat back down and sipped his coffee once again. He felt a little more wakeful.

"Want to play with cards?" he asked.

"Sure."

* * *

Roy felt someone shaking him slightly. He moaned.

"Roy, get up, you need to get to work in two hours…"

"Go away, kid, I want to sleep…"

"Come on! Up! Now! Or I'll pour the coffee on you, it's still hot! I made a new measure. Come on..! You're not acting like a role model to three teen-agers!"

"Ed..?"

"Yes, up, now!" Ed hit him with a pillow.

"ED!"

"NOW!" Another hit with a pillow.

"OK, OK! I'm coming, gosh!" He got up and rubbed his eyes. "You can be a nightmare…"

"That wasn't nicely said!!!" A hit with the pillow. Yes, again.

"Sorry! I didn't mean it! I'm just tired, that's it… sorry…"

"Don't worry about it. I'm tired as well. Just… dress up and come downstairs. Al's making breakfast.

"But it's my job to make the breakfast, I'm supposed to take care of you-"

"Stop complaining and start moving. Go, go! I'm going to get Winry up. See you soon."

Roy watched the kid trailing out of the room. He shook his head.

_God, he's tired… And something seems to be bothering him… though he hides it pretty well. But now I have to get moving or he's going to beat me up. _

* * *

_Ughh… I'm so tired. But I don't want to sleep…_

"Did you get them up, brother?" he heard Al asking. He raised his head and smiled tiredly.

"Yeah, I got to beat Roy with a pillow! But with Winry it got the other way, more violently… she beat me up with her wrench… I should've known she had it with her…" Ed was holding his left arm.

"Are you OK?"

"Don't worry, I got away before I got killed… and I think she's up now, so no damage. This is just a little harmless bruise."

"Good then. Can you help me a little to get all this in the table..?"

"Sure, Al, no problem! But you put the milk, I'm not touching that nasty bottle ever again…"

"You're pathetic, brother."

"Then I am. I don't care."

A few minutes later Roy and Winry finally came to the kitchen where Ed had already eaten half of the breakfast that there had been.

"Brother, you should slow down."

"Whaaat? But I'm hungry! And I need energy."

"It's your own fault that you didn't sleep last night."

"What, Ed didn't sleep last night? Why?" Winry joined the discussion. She glanced at Ed with a concerned look.

"Because I didn't feel like sleeping. Drop the subject."

"You should sleep!" Winry complained. Ed sighed.

"Roy made me promise to sleep next night. So shut up", Ed snarled.

"Don't say it like it's a bad thing", Roy said. "I'm thinking the best of you."

"Yeah, right. You have no reason to think what's the best thing for me", he blurted out. Everyone looked at him, shocked.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it! I'm just tired, that's it…" Roy seemed hurt. He felt really bad. "Roy, I-"

"Don't worry about it Ed."

"But I-"

"Just forget it. Thanks for the breakfast, Al." He got up.

"Roy, I really didn't mean it, I'm so sorry, I don't know what got into me-"

"It's OK, Ed. See you around, I got to get ready for work." He walked to his room.

Ed buried his head in his hands. "God, I'm so stupid…"

"You're just tired, Ed, it's OK", Winry said.

"Why do I always have to ruin everything? God… I always upset him, how can he still care about me?"

"Because he does. And it's good that he does."

"Maybe it would be better if he wouldn't." He got up. "See you later. I'm not hungry anymore."

"Brother-"

"Bye, Al." He walked to his room.

Winry sighed. "Is it always like this?"

"No… and yes. Ed's just a little messed up, they'll solve things later."

"I hope they do. It's not fun seeing them like that."

* * *

_Why am I doing this to him!? Why am I doing this to myself!?_

Ed sat on his bed, hands curled around his feet.

_Why the heck am I always driving him away… I don't want him to go! God, how can I be so stupid? I even forgot the adoption! No matter what Al says, it's not normal. It was so big, how did I manage to forget it? I want to be his son… I want to … I need to… I need a father, I need him, more than ever. Then why do I still keep driving him away..?_

He felt a tear on his cheek.

_I wonder if he still wants to adopt me._

The tear fell on his hand. He pressed his hand in a fist.

_Because I want to be his son._

_

* * *

_OK, this was pretty much a piece of crap. But whatever.

Review! And thanks for those who have reviewed! I just love reviews...


	15. The breaths that we take

For the one who asked: no, nothing horrible happened here. Our cats had a fight and apparently the other one hurt her leg... God, I have no idea how it bled so much, it was just a little cut...

But on to the disclaimer!

* * *

_**Chapter 15  
**__The breaths that we take might be the last ones_

_Why is he always driving me away? Is it a habit or what? I don't know how long I'm able to get it! He's ruining everything by himself._

Roy took his jacket and bag and started heading to the front door.

_But maybe I'm being a little too harsh now. He hasn't had a father in years and everything's so messed up__ right now anyway. He's not really meaning it. And he was trying to apologize._

"Roy, can I come with you?" a quiet voice said behind him. He turned and saw Ed.

He smiled. "It'll be boring. You can spend the day with Al and Winry in here."

"I know, but I want to come with you. But only if you let me." The boy was looking to his own feet, black boots already on. The sight was pretty adorable.

"OK. But if you want to come back earlier than I'm ready you'll get to walk. But we're going with a car." He shook the keys.

Ed raised his eyebrows. "You never go with a car."

"I know, but I'm a little late of my schedule and Hawkeye's going to beat me up if I'm late, so I guess I have no choice. I usually prefer walking, it's relaxing. And it doesn't pollute." He closed the door behind them.

"You can drive, right?"

"Of course I can. If I couldn't, I wouldn't take you with me would I?" He smiled. Ed smiled as well.

"I guess not." Ed opened the right front door.

"No, Ed, children sit back", Roy said smirking.

"I'm not a kid! Why can't I sit in the front?"

"You are a kid, and kids sit in the backseats. Now go in or I'll leave you in here." He sat down to the car by himself.

"You're boring you know", Ed snarled as he sat in the car.

"Seatbelt."

"Ughh, just what I thought. OK, I'll use it."

"You won't ever go in a car and not use a seatbelt, OK?" Roy asked concerned.

"If you want so, I won't do it anymore." Roy heard a soft click from the back.

"I want to make that you're alright. Seatbelt might save your life someday."

"I thought that you said that you can drive…"

"I can, but someone else might be driving drunk or something. The fault doesn't have to be mine. Accidents happen all the time."

"Have you ever been in one?" Roy started the car.

"Thank god, no. But it'll come someday. I just hope that you're not with me that day."

"You know what? Me too. I'm too young to die right now, and I need to get Al's body back at first." Ed's eyes glowed.

Roy smiled as he relaxed and started driving towards the Head Quarters.

* * *

"Just in time. I have to go now, don't bother anyone, alright?"

"I'll be fine! Just go."

Roy lengthened his steps as he headed to his office.

"Good morning Hawkeye."

"Good morning colonel. You left work early a few days ago. And you didn't appear yesterday." She polished her gun. Roy swallowed.

"Err… I got some… family business. And thinking about that… I want to ask your opinion about something."

"Oh, you do? And what kind of family business, your parents are not present anymore and I've never heard that you have sisters or brothers. Girlfriends won't be counted as family members."

"I haven't got a girlfriend in a long time, mind you."

Hawkeye seemed happily surprised. "Really? I never thought that you would manage to do that."

"Well apparently I can. Kids can change a lot of stuff."

"Kids?"

"Remember when I told you that Ed is living with me? Well, we got some problems."

"He's legally not your son, so I'm sorry but it doesn't count as family business either."

"Let me finish. He got kidnapped and his father died trying to rescue him. And now the question that I want to hear your opinion to: He wants his father's body back, but I don't think it's safe to go in there. So, what should I do? I promised him to try to get his father's body back."

"I can't answer if I don't know the whole story. But it can wait, we have the whole day. What if we discuss about it at lunch break? Now, to your work. You're far behind from where you should be."

Roy sighed. "I knew it would come to this point…"

* * *

"Hey, Hughes!" Ed smiled and walked to a black-haired family-obsessed man.

"Ed! Nice to see you again, it's been so long! Did you cut your hair?"

Ed's face darkened and he twirled his now shoulder length golden locks that were lying freely on his shoulders. He still hadn't gotten used to its new length. "Ehh… not actually. But it's short now, so it doesn't really matter how it got short."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." He forced a smile on his face. It seemed to fool Hughes.

"I'll try not to! But hey, you haven't seen Elysia! I'm having a few hour break, Schiezka is so hard-working, so we can drop by! Come on!" Ed felt Hughes' big hand grabbing his jacket behind his neck. He groaned.

"I just came! Roy will get worried if he doesn't know where I am-"

"Then we'll inform him! Come on!"

Ed didn't even see everything around him clearly.

_So this is what it's like to be "kidnapped" by Hughes.__ God, I hope this won't be as irritating as all the pictures… but somehow I get the idea that it'll be even more awkward._

"Heyaa, Roy! Ed and I will go and visit my family, don't you worry about him!"

"What? Oh… OK."

Ed tried to open his mouth and find an excuse why not to go but then he felt Hughes slamming his shoulders strongly and the thoughts slipped away. "Well, we'll see you later! I'll return him when we get back! Bye!"

"Roy…!"

"See you later, Ed!" Roy smiled. Ed could see the spark of malicious delight in his dark eyes.

"ROOOYYYY!!! THIS ISN'T OVER YEEEETTT………!"

* * *

"Hello, Gracia, Elysia…" Ed said smiling when the door opened.

"This is Edward, remember, the kid in the military that I told you about? The one who lives with Roy."

"Oh, hello, Edward. It's nice to meet you." Gracia shook her hand.

"You too…"

"Come on in, let's not just stand in here. You'll catch cold."

"Excellent idea! Come on, Ed!" Hughes smiled holding little Elysia in his hands.

Ed sighed and stepped in. This was going to be a long day. He wished he'd just stayed at home.

* * *

"So, that's the situation. You shouldn't promise everything, you're too soft."

Riza and Roy were sitting in a café nearby. Roy had told everything to her.

"What, me, soft? That's ridiculous…"

"'Kids can change a lot of stuff', that's what you said." She smiled encouragingly.

"I did? Oh god, am I becoming too soft?"

"No, it's not a bad thing. As long as it doesn't effect your work. Those kids need someone to rely on."

"But what am I going to do?" Riza sipped her coffee before answering.

"If you really want my opinion… I think you should take a few loyal soldiers and try to get his body back. It's easier for him to get over it if he can bury his father. Knowing that his body is just somewhere decaying… it's a horrible thought. It's not something that a kid like him should be burdened by. And there's no confirmation that there'll be any danger."

"You think so? But what if seeing the body again worsens the situation-"

"It might, but trust me: he'll get over it quicker if he can bury him." She took a look at the bright blue sky above of them. "It's never easy to see someone dying. He's seen death, but never accused it. And the fact that his father gave his life for him… he might count it as it was his fault that he died. He might blame himself, he can think that it was him who murdered him. The first death is the hardest… And if he really counts it so, he must be having an inner fight. You have to be there for him and help him get over it."

"… I never thought about that."

"It's hard to think like a teenager after seeing everything that we have seen."

"I guess so. You're a smart woman, Hawkeye." He smiled at her and saw her blushing.

"We better get going. Especially if you want to gather a team to go and get his father's body back."

"That'll take time… especially with the paperwork…"

"I can gather some loyal officers, you just worry about the paperwork."

"Can't we do it the other way?"

"No. I can't do your paperwork."

* * *

"Officers Breda, Armstrong, Hawkeye, Havoc. Ready?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good. Then we'll go. Remember: take the body, do NOTHING else. And we're leaving immediately."

"Yes, sir!"

Now, we'll just go. Let's hope there won't be anyone…"

Roy opened the door quickly and scanned the room with his eyes. Nobody living. Yes!

"Urrghh… what a smell!" Breda complained.

"Just get the body and we'll go. You'll get rid of the smell the faster you do this job. And remember not to mention about this to anyone."

"No, sir!" They lifted the man's dead corpse up.

"Ughh… he's heavy", Havoc noted.

"With these muscles, there's no problem! Let me carry it, don't waste your already low energy!"

"Err… alright." They let go of Hohenheim and Armstrong lifted the corpse up with one hand.

"Want to see the funeral march of the Armstrong family?"

"Not now! Let's just go", Roy said quickly and leaded the others out of the huge hall. "We don't want anyone to bump into us." He looked at his watch.

* * *

_Did he forget me?_

Ed was sitting on the couch in Roy's office. He was napping his metal fingers lightly on the couch's arm.

_But the car's still there… maybe he just had to go in the field… Oh, I'm so tired. I'm so going to beat the crap out of him when he comes back._

He laid down and closed his eyes.

_It won't hurt if I'll just take a little nap… I don't know how long it'll take until he comes back… Yeah, I'll just sleep for a while. He'll surely wake me up when he comes back._

* * *

"Edward… wake up."

"Ngghn. Just a while more…"

"No, we got to go home. And I have some news." Roy lifted the boy up. Ed grunted and opened his eyes.

"Can't you take it a little slower-?" Then he saw the other officers behind Roy. "Oh. Hello." He noticed the blood and took a few quick steps back. "WHAT THE..!?"

"Shh, don't freak out, Ed. We got your father's body back. You can go back to Resembool and bury him next to your mum like you wanted. I can't come though… I've ignored work too many times."

Ed looked at them, slowly taking everything in. "Where… where's… he?"

"We already dropped his body in Roy's garage. It was the best hiding place and it was on our way…" Hawkeye said.

"But I think it's best if all of us go home now. We'll see you later. Thank you very much, officers."

"No problem, sir! Anytime!"

"Yeah, like the hell I'll ever go and drag dead corpses ever again…" Breda snarled silently.

"Come on, Ed. Let's go." Ed got up and followed him. At the doorway he looked back.

"Thanks… for all of you. I really do appreciate it."

"Come, Ed."

"Bye", he waved his hand and gave them a sad smile. Then he ran after Roy.

"He's a sweet kid somewhere deep inside", Hawkeye said. The others nodded.

* * *

"Thanks Roy."

"No need to thank. I promised you to get his body back", Roy answered softly, keeping his eyes on the road.

"I thought that you said so to only make me feel better. I didn't think you'd really do it."

"I won't break my promises to you. You can trust me."

"I know… I just… never mind."

Then there was a flash of bright light and a deafening sound of crash. Ed felt sharp pain. He screamed. The car flew somewhere left and landed on its roof. Ed hit his head and passed out.

Roy coughed and cursed. "E-… Ed? ED?!"

No answer.

"Shit… SHIT! ED!?"

* * *

HAA! Drama, drama. Review! Thanks for the reviewers! Over 100 reviews... I never thought I could EVER get that many of them... Thank you!!! 


	16. Soon to be father and son

AARGHH!! Always when I post the story, some lines won't get posted. It's so frustrating! If you know why is that, could you please tell me?

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. The disclaimer was supposed to be in the chapter before as well, but for some stupid reason, it's not there. I put it, but it didn't appear. Sorry for that.**

**

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 16  
**__Soon-to-be-father and son_

_I have to get us out… god, how am I going to do that? The roof's collapsed. Not good._

"Edward, please, answer to me!" he yelled out of despair. He started fighting with his seatbelt. It opened with a click and Roy almost hit his head as he fell to the roof that was the floor right now. He tried to see back.

There was blood. He couldn't see well and the car tottered. He cursed again. Right now the best option was to get out of the car and figure another way to Ed. He had to move fast.

Roy managed to open one of the front doors. He crawled out and moved quickly to Ed's door.

_I got only bruises… Thank god… but what about him? What about Ed? Damn, I'm going to kill that bastard who crashed to us! And then he just left! God, that person is a coward!_

He tried to open Ed's door, but didn't manage. He tried the door on the other side of the door. Thank god, it opened. Then he saw Ed and felt all the air escaping from his lungs.

The boy's right leg, damn it, the flesh one, was stuck, blood all over it. It seemed to be broken and out of joint. He had a bad bruise on his forehead, blood falling down his face. That was all he could tell by the first sight. It wasn't a beautiful sight.

He crawled back in and took the boy's pulse and made sure that he breathed. Then he took a look at the stuck leg.

"Damn it… I have to get him out…" he muttered and tried to move the leg. He couldn't free it.

_Oh god, what should I do? What should I do? What… what!? Oh, yes!_

He took blood on his finger and searched for a bloodless spot. When he found it he drew a transmutation circle and laid his hand on hit. He changed the shape of that part of the car that caged Ed's leg. Then he started opening the seatbelt. It opened with a soft click and Edward fell on his arms. He dragged the boy out of the car and stopped about fifteen meters away from the car.

"Edward… wake up… please, wake up!" He took the boy's limp head on his hands. The boy didn't give any kind of reaction. "Come on!"

He got up. There was no one to be seen. He didn't know where the closest phone booth was. But there were a few houses that he could see. He lifted the little boy carefully up.

He was on the halfway when he felt a little movement on his hands.

"R-R.. oy…" Ed coughed.

"I'm here, just stay awake, I'll get help."

"Am… Am I… goi..ng… to ..die?"

"No, you're not going to die. Just stay awake, OK?" Roy wanted to run but didn't want to cause any more pain for Ed.

"My leg… oww…"

"It'll be alright. It's broken."

"Is it? Damn it… Al's going to kill me..!"

"No, he's not." They arrived to the first house. Roy pushed the doorbell. A young woman opened the door after a while.

"Who the heck are you, waking people up at this time…"

"I'm sorry lady, but I need to use phone. I need an ambulance."

The woman let her eyes fall on Ed. "Oh god..! What happened!?" She let them in.

"A car accident. The ambulance, please…"

"Yes. Yes. I'll call, you can lay him in there…" The woman pointed at a little couch.

"Thank you." Roy laid Edward gently down in a foetus position. The boy was deadly white.

"Alright, Ed, now tell me where it hurts."

The blonde waited a moment before answering. "…Everywhere…"

"Where does it hurt the most?"

"The leg… and then my head…"

"What about your stomach?"

"It's… it's OK, I guess."

"Can you breathe properly?"

"… Yes. I think so."

"That's good. We were lucky… Thank god. Your leg is undoubtedly broken. And then you might have a concussion. Most likely." He stroked Ed's hair. "And bruises."

Ed closed his eyes. "Shit… I'm going to make Winry cry again… I hate it when she cries. And Al… Al must be worrying, I have to call him…"

"Not now. First we have to get you to the hospital and make sure you're alright."

"No..! I hate hospitals, I'm fine, I don't want to go-"

"You are going. I can't bear it if you're seriously hurt and you die because I didn't force you in the hospital."

"You said that I won't die by yourself!"

"That's right, because we're going to get you to the hospital!"

"I hate you!"

"No, you don't. You just don't think clearly now."

"You're saying that again… why is it that people think that I can't think on my own?"

"Because you've hit your head."

"Oh. Yeah."

The woman came back. "The ambulance is on its way."

"Thank you, miss…?"

"Heather. Heather Trigger."

"Thank you, Heather. I owe you."

"Don't worry about it. Can you tell me your names now that you know mine?"

"I am Roy Mustang and this is Edward Elric."

The woman looked at Ed sadly. "Is he alright?"

"Seems so, but I won't promise anything."

Ed tried to move his right hand but didn't manage. He snarled.

"Roy… I think I broke my arm. It doesn't move."

The woman grinned. "Ouch." Ed didn't bother explaining about the automail.

"Then I guess we just have to wait", Roy sighed.

"Ughh… I hate waiting…" Ed complained.

* * *

_I wonder if he's alright…_

The doctors had taken Ed to another room. Roy had already been checked but Ed had to go to the X-ray and all. Roy was biting his fingernails worriedly.

"So, do you know where his parents are?" a doctor asked. "They need to be informed."

"His parents are dead."

"Oh… I'm so sorry. Then what about his legal guardian?"

Roy stretched his neck. "He doesn't have any."

"Excuse me? Everyone must have a legal guardian…"

"He doesn't have one. His father died just a few days ago, so-"

"And nobody has picked him up? He has to go to a place where they keep orphans…"

"I won't let him end up in a place like that. I'll adopt him."

"It's not that easy, young man. You have to see the court and all. You would have to have very good rations and it still would take at least a week."

"I'm from the bloody military, I'll manage to do it in less than a week."

"Maybe. But I'm sorry, I have to inform about this to the police…"

Roy sighed. "I understand. But I want to talk to them. Can I see him?"

"Sure. Does he have any family?"

Roy thought about it for a moment. He didn't want Alphonse to end up in any kind of situation where he would end up losing his darkest secret.

"No. No family at all."

"Alright. Poor kid. Well, I'll see you later. I'll get a nurse to show you his room."

"Thank you very much."

* * *

_I wonder where Roy is._

Ed squeezed his blankets with his left arm. He had bandages on his head, arm and leg. He wasn't in a good mood. He hated hospitals.

_I want Roy in here… I don't want to be alone._

The door opened and Roy stepped in.

"Ed… thank god, you're alright."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Do Al and Winry know about this? It's over midnight, they must be worrying. Can they come to visit me? The doctors say that I can't leave tonight because of the concussion."

"No, I haven't told them yet. And I don't think it's safe for Alphonse to come in right now… Ed they know that you don't have a guardian."

"What about it? Is there a problem?"

"You're underage and you don't have a guardian. Most likely the police will take you in a place with other orphans." The kid in front of him seemed frightened.

"I am not going. You can… you can adopt me, right? Then I don't have to go… If you just want to…"

Roy sighed. "Of course I want to adopt you. And that's what I'm going to do but it might take a few days."

"Then I'll just stay at your place for those few days", Ed stated.

"I'll talk to the police. I'll do my best, Ed. I don't want you to go there either."

"You… you can do it, right? You can persuade them to let me stay with you?"

"I'm not sure Ed. But I'll do my best. I'm fighting for you."

"Don't do it literally. Then there's no hope. But you have to succeed, I don't want to end up in a middle of strangers… I can't even stand the idea… and what about Al?"

"I lied that you have no family. I just have to make sure that they won't dig in it and find out about Alphonse."

Ed buried his head in his hands. "Damn it… why does everything have to go wrong?"

Roy rubbed Ed's back. "We'll pull through this. Trust me."

The door opened. A nurse was on the door. "Ehm… a police has arrived. You wanted to see him…?"

"Yes. Thank you. I'll see you later, Ed."

Ed sniffed. "Don't let me down", he whispered.

"I won't."

Roy wasn't sure could he keep that promise. But he was going to do his best.

* * *

Every second felt like an hour. Every minute felt like a day. Ed's palms were wet, he was sweating out of fluster. It felt like someone was hitting his head with a gun.

_Come on, Roy… You can do it… I trust in you… don't let me down… Not again__. Please!_

He held his head and tried to ignore the pain in his leg. The medicine must've worn off.

_I hate waiting… I hate not being able to do anything but wait! It's frustrating! But Roy can do it, right? Right!? God, I want to know how it goes. This is ridiculously odd. Now the adoption thing is up again… I just fought with him in less than 24 hours! God, it all comes so fast…_

The door opened. Ed raised his head and saw Roy and a police-officer coming in. He gave Roy a questioning look and swallowed. He couldn't read anything from Roy's face and the officer sat next to him.

"Hello, Edward."

"…Hello", he answered hesitantly.

"So, you've been living with this man for a while?"

"Yeah…"

"What's it been like?"

"Err… it's been… nice? I mean- I- I like living with him, he's like a father for me and all!"

"Good. Does he take good care of you?"

"Yes."

"Alright. I guess I have to talk about this with a few more officers before deciding anything but he's going to spend this night in the hospital anyway. I'll inform you about our decision when we're ready."

"Thank you, officer. It was nice to meet you", Roy said when they stood up and shook his hand.

"You too. God, I'm going to go home and take some sleep… I suggest you to do the same. Good night."

"Good night."

The officer left and Roy sat down again. Ed sighed. "That didn't go so well… God, did I screw everything?"

"No, Ed, you did alright. At first he didn't even want to consider it but when I noted that I'm a colonel in the military he seemed to change his mind completely. I don't think he wants to get so high-ranked enemies." Roy smirked.

Ed smiled tiredly. "I guess so… So, you used your rank with personal business again."

"Yup. But that's what I had to do. I was thinking the best of you."

"You always do…" Ed rubbed his eyes. "It's kind of… scary. But nice. Are you going home?"

_Did Ed just say "home" or did I hear wrong..?_

"Err… I'm not leaving yet. I want to be here for you."

"It's fine, you can go. I have nurses that I can draw off. You need sleep."

"You promised me to sleep tonight. I guess it didn't work."

"Oh, yeah, that's right… I did promise… maybe I'll try to sleep."

"Leave that 'maybe' out and I'll go."

Ed smirked. "Alright. I'll try to sleep. How does it sound now?"

"Much better. I'm proud of you."

"Give me a break. Now go." He closed his eyes and relaxed. "They said they'll make me up always after a few hours… so I can't promise how well I'll sleep."

Roy walked to the door. "It's fine if you even try. Good night, soon-to-be-son." Then he closed the door.

Ed felt his heart racing. "Good night soon-to-be-father", he whispered.

* * *

Thanks for those few people who reviewed for the last chapter! And for those who read it but didn't review: it would be nice if you would review as well. I really love reviews and they keep me going. And knowing how many people don't review... it's pretty sad.

So, review people! You don't want me to cry, don't you? ;)


	17. Photographs, photographs

Heyy! I'm updating again! And I have a few announcements to make about the updates:

_I won't be able to update this saturday and some days next week. Sorry. There might be even more days that I can't update, but at least on those days I'm too busy to do it._

**_WHAT!? Is this already chapter 17!? When the heck did I get it this far... I never thought that I could manage. Chapter 17! Three more chapters and then there are TWENTY chapters!!! This is so crazy... Thanks for your support!_**

**Discaimer: I do not own FMA! You all know that already, don't you? Yes? Great.**

* * *

_**Chapter 17  
**__Photographs, photographs_

"BROTHER'S WHERE!?"

"Ed is in the hospital. He'll get out tomorrow", Roy repeated himself. He tapped Al's shoulder, hoping to make the young boy feel better. It was pretty hard to comfort Al when he didn't have a body that could feel.

"A… A car accident? What happened?" Winry whispered. She had sat down on the couch. Roy saw her shivering and sat next to her and hugged her. It was sometimes so hard to deal with three teen-agers under the same roof. Well, actually Ed wasn't under the same roof right now, but it still wasn't that easy.

"Some idiot crashed to us. But he'll be alright, he just has a concussion and broken leg. Oh, and apparently his automail arm is broken, he can't move it at all."

"He broke it again…! How many times do I have to tell him that-"

"It wasn't his fault. Don't you dare to go in there and scream right at his face. He's upset enough. All he worries in there is you two, he doesn't even think about himself."

"What? Why does he worry about us? We're just fine, but he's in a hospital!" Alphonse complained.

"He doesn't want to make you upset or worried. Though he should sometimes think a little bit more himself, I have to agree with you in that. But now, go to bed."

"I don't have to sleep! They'll let me visit him, I'm his family, right?" Roy felt sorry for the little boy that was clearly worried about his older brother. Well, that wasn't actually a surprise, Ed was the only he had left.

"No, Alphonse, you can't go in there. Or… well, you can't go in there as yourself. We're having a little problem with the police, they found out that Ed doesn't have a guardian. I'm pretty sure I managed to persuade them to let Ed stay in here while we're working with the adoption."

"You're adopting us? I knew it!"

"That's great!"

"Now, go to your rooms. We'll visit him later. Go. Or I'll cancel the whole deal and Ed ends up with other orphans."

"I know you can't do that. You wouldn't be able to forgive yourself", Al chuckled.

"Alright, but it doesn't mean that I won't be able to punish you. Everyone who won't go to their beds right now won't visit Edward today." He smiled evilly.

"You can't stop us!" Al complained.

"Oh, yes I can. Go, now. He would want you to take it well, not running all over my place like some kind of monkeys. Do it for him."

* * *

Someone was shaking Ed.

"Hrmmhn… Not yet Roy…" He grabbed his pillow and put it over his head.

"Wake up, we have to wake you up always after a several hours. Come on, drink this water and you can sleep again."

_Ughh… Why do they have to wake me up when I can sleep at last? I really hate hospitals._

"I don't want to…" He squeezed his eyes even tighter shut.

"Drink it and I won't bother you anymore. You'll get back to sleep the faster you'll obey."

_Stupid, stupid, stubborn nurse._

Ed sat up and yawned. "I hate it when people boss me around…" The nurse gave him the glass and he emptied it.

"How's your leg? Any pain?"

"No. I'm drugged with medicine, am I?"

"If you want to put it in that way. But at least you're not in pain."

"Pain's familiar to me. I don't mind", he snarled and laid his head back on the pillow.

"Well, it's better if you'll go to sleep again. I'll see you later again."

"Forget me the next time you should wake me up."

"I can't do that. You're my responsibility and I don't want to get in troubles because of you. Now sleep."

The nurse left and Ed tried to curl up. His right leg didn't feel comfortable so he left it straight.

* * *

"Good morning, Mr. Mustang."

"Good morning. We would want to visit Edward-"

"Of course. But he just fell asleep again, so could you please let him sleep? Poor kid looks like he hadn't slept in years. Totally worn off."

Roy smiled. So Ed was sleeping… he had kept his promise. "Sure. Is he in the same room as earlier?"

"Yes. I'm a little busy now, so…"

"We can go in there by ourselves. Thank you very much."

When they opened the floor quietly they saw Ed sleeping peacefully in his hospital bed. His hair hanged on a little loose ponytail. His face was half buried in his pillow.

_I can't believe I'm going to adopt him… I can't believe it. I never thought that I could be a father. I never thought… I might've dreamed, but never actually thought… god, what am I thinking?_

They sat on the chairs next to the bed and Roy graced a few golden locks off of Ed's face. He noticed that the boy seemed a lot healthier and couldn't help but smile out of relief.

"When do you think he's going to wake up?" Al asked.

"I don't know. But we should let him sleep right now."

Ed shifted his side and groaned. The door opened. Everyone turned and took a deep and shocked breath.

"F… Führer King Bradley?!"

"Good morning, colonel Mustang. Visiting major Elric, I assume?" He walked and took a look at the sleeping kid.

"Yes, sir… May I ask what brings you in here?"

Winry and Al had frozen. Winry's mouth hang open and she just stared at the two men.

"Oh, I just wanted to make sure that major Elric is alright. And remind you that you can't skip work anymore."

"But… but Ed's in the hospital and I have to work with some papers-"

"Yes, I heard about that. So you want to adopt these two?"

"Y- Yes… where did you hear it?"

"Hahahahaha! Rumours, Roy, rumours. They're everywhere. You can't do anything without someone seeing and hearing and then the rumours start to spread. But I can help you. Let's say that I'll send you some papers and we can finish it during lunch. Quick and easy. It's good to have connections."

Roy was shocked. "But… but can you really do that? Why are you helping?"

"Why? Hahahaha! I can't afford one of my colonels skip work all the time and I can't afford one of my state alchemists end up in an orphan place, can I?"

"I guess not…"

"Now, come on! Back to work, you can come back with the papers at lunch break! Up and go!"

"Yes sir! Of course…"

"But Roy..!" Winry started.

"I'll be back, but now I have to go. Take care of Ed, will you?"

"Yes…"

"Come on Roy! Hahahahaha! Work is waiting!" Roy ran after the Führer leaving Al and Winry looking at each others.

"Is the Führer always that… brisk?"

"Er… I haven't actually met him before so I can't tell. Though he seemed a little creepy."

"Yeah… anyone who just pops out and laughs all the time can be creepy."

* * *

Ed woke up warm. He smiled slightly and opened his eyes.

"Al… Winry."

Alphonse hugged his brother tightly. "Brother! You're awake! Thank god!"

"Oww, let go Al! I'm fine! How long have you been in here?"

"Almost an hour. Roy was here at first as well but the Führer came to pick him up-"

"WHAT? The Führer was in here? And I was sleeping? No way…"

"It's true, brother. And guess what? He's going to help Roy with the adoption! We can finish it today! Isn't it great? We'll get a father!"

Ed stared and blinked. "Wh… what? Today? Why does it have to be that quick?"

"I don't know. Aren't you happy?" Al asked surprised by his brother's reaction.

"Yeah, of course… it's just that it comes so quickly. Everything's happened so quickly. It hasn't been a long time since we moved in and all… It's just a little creepy." He shrugged. "So he really does want to adopt us?"

"Yes, he does. Now, Ed, will you let me see your arm?" Winry asked and took her tools."

"You have to come closer and look at it by yourself, I can't move it. Be careful with my leg."

"Which one?"

"The real one, of course! What are you thinking, that I'm asking you to be careful with a leg made of metal?"

"I thought maybe you would at last want to take better care of it!"

"Hey, was that an insult? You came all the way in here just to insult the patient?"

"Stop it, you two. WINRY, PUT THAT WRENCH AWAY. Now."

"But he deserves a hit with it!"

"You both do, so you can just put it away. Just… just take a look at his automail. Oh, Ed, how's your leg? Is it really broken?"

Ed lowered his head. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong, it wasn't your fault."

"But now if we get a lead I won't be able to go after it! Because we'll sure get in a fight and it isn't easy to manage with a broken leg… god, why do I always ruin everything?!"

"It's alright brother. I'm not mad at you."

"But I'm mad at myself!"

"Brother, if you want me to be happy, you can't blame yourself for everything that happens. You can't. I don't like it", Al said quietly. Ed raised his head.

"I… I'm sorry, Al, I didn't mean to hurt you…"

"It's alright, brother. Just relax and let your leg heal."

"I will, Al. I promise, and you know that I don't break my promises."

"You mean the ones you promise to me", Al noted.

Ed blushed slightly out of shame. "Err… yeah. Right."

"ARGH! How did you manage?! You're missing some parts in here! Two screws are gone!"

"Is it bad?"

"I have to go and buy new ones! But otherwise I think it's pretty good, considering what it went through. I'll go to look if I can find those screws in somewhere here… Central is a big place. I think I'll manage. I'll be back soon! Oh, can you give me money?"

"Err… I don't have any with me. Maybe you should drop at the Head Quarters and ask Roy to lend you some?"

"Alright. I'll go now so I'll be back as fast as I can. You two can solve things while I'm gone."

"What do we have to solve? I thought we already did that?" Ed asked confused.

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, you can get in another quarrel and solve that then. Bye!" And with that she was gone.

Ed sighed. "I don't want another quarrel. Can we just… chat?"

"Yeah. So, what is it like to be in a hospital?"

"Do you really want to hear?" Ed asked evilly.

"Err…!"

* * *

"Hey, Edward! How ya doing?" Hughes and Roy stepped in the room later that day. Ed had managed to change his clothes to his usual ones that Al had bring with him. He was still laying on the bed, two walking sticks next to him. Winry had already fixed his arm.

"At last! You have no idea how bored I've been, they won't let me go without someone adult picking me up…"

"Sorry, Ed. I couldn't leave earlier and now I how only an hour. But at first I think we should sing the papers." All of they smiled.

"Hey, Ed, guess what I brought with me? Guess?" Hughes asked sitting next to his bed.

"Eh… I don't know? Pictures?"

FLASH!

"Almost right! I brought my camera! I just have to immortalise the moment Roy adopts his sons!" He smiled and Ed whined rubbing his eyes.

"You could've warned me! My eyes!"

"Maes, calm down. It's not that big", Roy snarled embarrassed. He had had no idea about the camera.

"Oh, it is! This something that you can't cancel as easily as your doomed relationships with women! You're getting sons! TWO sons! Ed and Al! It's amazing!" He took a few more pictures of them. "I'll put these on frames! I can give you a few of them if you want to! Then you can show it to other people!"

"Maes, stop it! Let's just sing the papers and make it official!" He slammed the papers on one of the chairs. "So… if you just want to get adopted by me, then you just have to sing it. If you don't want you can still turn away."

"I won't. Give me a ballpoint! I want to get out of this stinky place!" He smiled. Roy smiled as well and handed the pen to Ed. Ed's hands were slightly shaking as he singed the papers and handed them over to Alphonse who singed them quickly and spryly. Hughes took photos all the time.

"This is great! I can immortalise EVERYTHING! You should see your faces! Haahaa! I'll show these to you once I get them on frames! You have so cute sons, Roy, you can be so proud! Though they're not as adorable as Elysia, not even nearly, but still! Can I be their godfather? Can I?"

"Sure, sure, Maes. So, shall we leave this building and start heading to home?"

"Yes!" Ed jumped up and took the walking sticks. "I have no idea why they force me to use these…"

"It's good for you. Come on. Let's go home."

_Home… oh, god, I have a home! I have a family! I have a father! I have… I have… A godfather? God, I hope Hughes won't visit us that often… I don't want my face to end up all over the Head Quarters…_

He smiled as he capered out of the front door.

_I'M SO HAPPY! I FEEL SO ALIVE!_

_

* * *

_Haa! At last they're adopted! I just can't let this fic go yet, though... I don't know how long I'll be writing this, but it isn't over just yet.

Review! And thanks for reviewers! Hugs for all!


	18. Broken leg and a new father

Hello again, here's today's chapter. I'm not sure if I can update tomorrow, but I promise to try.

* * *

_**Chapter 18  
**__Broken leg and a new father_

"Oww…"

"Be careful with that leg. Maybe you should sit down?" Roy asked concernedly and guided Ed to the couch when they finally arrived home.

"Jumping strains it… Ouch! I feel like it's going to fall off…"

"It won't. It's normal that your leg is sensitive."

Ed laid down on the couch and dropped his walking sticks on the floor. "I am not moving anywhere today. That was enough… God, can someone give me some fresh water? The liquid they made me drink in the hospital was certainly not water… no idea what it was…" A sweat drop was falling down his forehead. Hughes left to get water.

Roy got a chair and sat next to him. Winry and Al didn't bother but just sat on the floor.

Ed closed his eyes. "Those sticks chafe my hands…" He slowly rubbed his hands together. "So much trouble just because I broke my leg. This is a nightmare!" Roy stroked his hair.

"Almost everyone break some of their bones during their lifetime. It's a miracle it didn't happen sooner, considering all of your stunts in the past."

"Are you mocking me?!"

"Calm down, brother. He's not mocking you", Alphonse joined the conversation before it got too dangerous. He had no idea that he might've just saved Roy's life.

"Here's the water, Eddy", Hughes came back with a glass. Ed took it and snarled.

"It's Ed. Not Eddy. Not Edward. Nothing else you can come up with. It's Ed."

"Why? What's wrong with the other ones?" Hughes asked.

"Eddy is way too childish. And it makes me feel like someone's bossing me around. And Edward is way too formal…" He sipped the water and spurted it immediately out. "WHAT THE HECK DID YOU PUT IN HERE?!"

"Whoopsie! He noticed it!"

"Maes… what did you put in there?" Roy asked dangerously.

"Well… he should drink his milk…"

"JUST WHAT I THOUGHT! Yuck! How dared you!? Once my leg is healed, you're going to end up in a hospital!" Ed bellowed.

"Alright, alright, I won't do it again! Sorry!" Hughes took a few steps back.

Ed sighed. "Can someone ELSE bring me water?"

"Someone ELSE? Should I be offended, Ed?"

"Your choice", Ed grinned. Hughes pointed at him.

"Roy, you have one hell of a kid. Maybe you should've thought about the adoption a little bit more…"

"Shut up, Maes. I'll bring you water, Ed. And don't listen to him, he's kidding all the time."

"Thanks for the information."

"Hey, Roy, turning against me? I thought we were friends!"

"We are friends. And I'm not turning against you; I'm trying to make sure my son won't kill you."

Hughes scratched his chin. "Now that makes sense…"

"Do you need something, brother?" Al asked.

Ed thought about it. "Company would be nice. And if you could bring me some books from the library next time you stop by… And can you bring me a blanket? It's pretty cold and my leg's feels like it's covered with ice."

"Sure. I'll be right back… I can borrow you some of the books I have upstairs for the beginning."

"Thanks, Al, but I don't think I really care about romance novels-"

"Have you ever read any?"

"…No…"

"Then you should at least try. I'll bring you one." Al rushed in his room.

"God, he just never listens…" Ed muttered.

Winry waved her index finger. "Yes he does. You just never notice it."

Roy came back with the water. "This better be water…" Ed sipped it. Yes, definitely water. He sipped some more. Roy smiled.

"You know that I don't lie to my sons, right?"

Ed shrugged. "Yeah…"

_Sons… oh god, sons? I'm his son… what a weird idea. What a scary idea. I mean, I like it, I really do, but this just came so quickly.__ But I'm happy. Right?_

"Are you alright?" The voice seemed to come somewhere far.

"What?"

"I asked you are you alright? You seemed to get lost in your thoughts", Roy asked. Ed handed the empty glass to him.

"I'm just fine. So many things just have happened and I'm trying to deal with them." He smiled.

Roy laid the glass on the table when Al rushed back to the room.

"Here's the blanket, brother! And here are some books as well, I tried to pick something with a little action as well so you would like them more. I promise to go to the library tomorrow." Ed snatched the blanket Al threw towards him and covered himself to the ears with it.

"Thanks, Al. It's much better now."

"No problem!"

Hughes looked at the clock on the wall. "Oh, Roy, we got to go now so we won't be late. But don't worry kids, he'll be back at night!"

Ed smirked. "Hurry up so Hawkeye won't kill you. I don't want to lose the father I just got."

"Alright. It's a shame we don't have time to celebrate", Roy sighed when he grabbed his jacket.

"Al, Winry and I will figure something out. We'll see you at evening."

Roy opened the door and waited Hughes to step out before himself. "Don't strain your leg!"

"I won't! Just go." Roy closed the door and ran after Hughes.

"I hope they'll be alright."

Hughes chuckled. "Don't worry about them. They've been alone at your place before and nothing's happened. They're not stupid."

* * *

"I'm bored. It's so boring when I can just lie on the couch for the whole day! It's been already an hour, I'm so bored! I want to do something!"

Al sighed and Winry shook her head. "Brother, you can't strain your leg, you just broke it. I know it must be frustrating to not be able to do anything-"

"No, you don't! I'm so bored that I could die in this place. How long do you think it'll take for my leg to heal?" he asked hopefully.

Winry took Ed's hand. "It… It might take a few months."

"A FEW MONTHS!?!" YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!" The birds flew quickly away from the window. "Tell me you're kidding!"

"I'm not. Sorry, Ed."

"No! No, no, no! What am I going to do for a few months? It's the first day and I'm bored! I can't survive for a few months!"

Winry looked at her friend. She really pitied him, Ed was always somewhere running and doing whatever that strained his body and now he was stuck inside. "The beginning is the worst, but then the pain will lessen and you can go out normally with your walking sticks-"

"Bloody walking sticks! I hate them!" Ed snarled.

"Calm down brother. Let's discover a way to celebrate the adoption when Roy comes back at home."

"Nothing big… I don't like big events. Just something… nice and normal", Ed said. "Could you give me some medicine for pain?"

Winry got up. "I'll get it."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it." Winry wandered to the bathroom.

"Err… so we were thinking what to do when Roy gets back?"

"Yup. So, nothing big and flashy. What if we bake something? Buns or muffins?"

Ed thought about it. "Alright. But you can bake, right?"

"Sure! And you can mix up the materials so you don't even have to get up."

Winry got back. "Here's water and a pain pill." Ed took the medicine and relaxed again.

"I never actually believed in pain medicine before that incident where I lost my limbs." He laughed nervously. "So Winry, we decided to bake. Muffins or buns?"

Winry thought about it. "Muffins. They're better. Let's make… blueberry ones. I can drop by the store, it's not that far away."

Al jumped up. "That's a great idea! I'll put everything ready in here and we can start with the materials we already have."

"Great. Well then, let's get started. I'll just pick my jacket."

* * *

"Anyone home..?" Roy asked jokingly as he opened the door He immediately saw Ed's hand jumping up from the sofa.

"Roy! He's home!" he yelled cheerfully. Winry and Al came from the kitchen with a bowl full of muffins. Fluke was purring on Ed's lap.

"Welcome home! We baked so we could celebrate a little!" Alphonse announced and laid the bowl on the table. She and Winry sat down on two chairs they had brought from the kitchen and Roy sat down on his easy chair.

"Now, that's nice", he said smiling. Fluke meowed and bumped in Ed's chin. Ed let out a small giggle. So he really was just a kid inside. "Well… to the adoption!" He bit his muffin. It tasted actually really good. The kids started to eat their own ones and fought for the biggest ones. Ed was nearly defeated but the others pitied him and gave him some of the biggest ones as well. God, the kid knew how to get things by his way. Roy couldn't help but chuckle and eat the smaller ones.

When all the muffins were eaten they all felt really tired and warm. Ed almost fell asleep on the couch.

"Alright, does anyone want to help me drag Ed in his bedroom?" Roy asked.

"I can help", Al offered. The kid was just so adorable, always helping.

"Thanks. Can you lift him up from his right armpit?"

"Don't lift me up! I hate it! I'd rather walk with those stupid sticks they gave me… NO! WAIT, WAIT! Aaargh!" Ed felt the taller ones dragging him up. "Put me down! Now!"

Roy chuckled. "We'll put you in your bed, don't worry."

"No! Let go of me!" He wiggled like a snake.

"Winry, can you get brother's walking sticks in his room?"

"Sure. Do you want me to read him a good-night-story?" She smiled evilly.

"NO WAY I'M GOING TO LISTEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT! The fact that my leg is broken doesn't make me a three year old little kid!"

"That's right, Ed. It makes you almost a baby", Roy said teasingly.

"I am not a baby! I'm 16! I'm almost an adult!"

"Oh, really? I already forgot, you look so small…"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT SMALL THAT YOU WOULD GET CONFUSED WHICH ONE IS ME IF YOU'D SEE A LITTLE BABY NEXT TO ME!!!" They laid Ed down on his bed. Winry threw his blanket on him. Roy fluffed Ed's hair.

"Don't worry, I recognize my sons. Sweet dreams." He kissed Ed's forehead.

"Stop treating me like a baby! It's irritating! Really goddamn irritating!" Ed snarled and pulled his blanket better on. He was blushing furiously.

"Alright. If you need anything you can wake me up so you don't have to start wondering in the dark with your sticks."

"I don't want to bother your sleeping. I've done that enough already", Ed muttered.

"I don't mind. Promise me to wake me up if you need me, alright?"

"Fine. I'll think about it."

"Don't think, do it."

"I'll think to do it or not." Ed smirked.

"Fine. Good night." Roy got up.

"Good night, Roy. Don't worry about me."

Roy sighed. "Worrying is not a bad thing. When you'll realise it?"

Ed looked confused. "I don't know. Apparently never. I just don't like people worrying about me. It makes me feel bad."

"It shouldn't."

"But it does. Now, go. So I don't have to feel bad because of you." Roy walked out of the room and let the other kids go out before him.

"Good night, brother!"

"Sleep well, Ed!"

"Thanks." Ed smiled as the door got closed. Then he sighed and buried his head in his pillow.

_Everyone are so nice… So nice that it exasperates me sometimes. I can handle things by myself._

He sighed.

_Heal, my leg, heal! I need to get Al's body back! I don't have anymore time to just lie still looking at the city sky! __I want some action in my life again. A good and bug fight. Though I bet Winry doesn't like it. But still. I'm not that kind of person who just likes to take everything easy and live a peaceful life._

_Though sometimes it sounds very enticing…_

_

* * *

_Review, people! I still love reviews. I LOVE them. L-O-V-E. Reviews keep me going, so if you don't want me to stop writing, review! Everyone! 


	19. Comfort and the burned house

**Haa, I managed to update today. But now I remind you: tomorrow I can't update. I don't have enough time.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.

* * *

A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 19  
**__Comfort and the burned house_

_Blood dripping on my hair, shoulders, hands, downright like in a shower, it covers me, it's hard to breathe… I can't feel the air, the oxygen, the oh, so fresh wind that some day in the past seemed to blow all my worries away… I fall in a sea of the red sticky liquid, I can't see the surface, there are dead people all around me, I wonder if I'm going to die in here, just like they… A flash of bright light and the pain that takes over my body and drags me deeper, deeper…_

Ed woke up puffing heavily staring blankly at wall next to him and squeezing his blanket to his chest. He sighed and sat up, eyeing for the darkest spots in his room like truly believing that a horrible monster might attack him. He let his right, fleshy hand brush the wall lightly before resting his head against it.

_Stupid nightmare…__ stupid, stupid nightmare! God, I'm feeling paranoid. I don't want to be alone…_

Hot tears were pouring from his eyes, warming his icy-cold face. He buried his head in his hands and dragged his left leg closer to him. He sobbed quietly.

_My life has been mostly like a nightmare for a while… I want Roy in here. But I don't want to wake him up. But he told me to if I want to… He'll be disappointed if I won't. Should I?_

He let his right arm brush the wall again, the very same wall that separated his own room from Roy's room. He knocked silently.

_You dump… He can't hear that little voice._

He knocked a little harder, his hand shaking slightly.

"Roy…" he called, trying to get a hold of himself. His voice was everything else but steady. He swallowed and knocked again. "Roy."

_Come on… please, wake up._

He sat silently for a while, placing his ear against the wall trying to listen to the voices from the next room. He heard a groan and someone getting up. He sighed and tried to wipe his tears away, but found it impossible when new ones substituted the already wiped ones. The door opened with a soft creaking sound.

"Roy…" he howled and tried to reach the man with his hand. In the dark his clammy hand because of the sweat seemed to glow slightly, making him look like a ghost. A sorrowful sad ghost.

Roy walked lightly to him, taking his hand and kneeled down next to the 16 year old boy who sobbed lightly. He brushed the teens hand gently. "What is it? Did you have a nightmare?" he whispered.

Edward nodded and blinked a few times, trying to choke back his tears. Then he looked Roy in the eyes again, a little sparkle of life in his eyes glowing dimly.

"Roy… I need to bury my father. I need to do it. I know it's not right to flee away right after the adoption especially if you can't come with, but I really need to do it. I just… I can't wait for long anymore." His voice was hoarse and desperate, begging Roy to understand. Which he did.

Roy stroked Ed's hair gently, trying to let the burdened boy in front of him feel safe and loved. Ed whined and hugged Roy. Roy rubbed his back.

_This is weird… he never hugs me. It's always me who hugs him, never the other way. He must be even more messed up than I even thought._

"Of course you can go and bury your father. I'll be here, waiting for you to come back when you're ready." Ed rested his head on the man's shoulder. Roy felt his shirt getting wet. He squeezed Ed tight for a while before laying him back on his back to the bed. He wiped Ed's tears away from his cheeks and smiled sadly. Ed didn't smile back.

"It's not right that you're my father. You could be someone else's father, someone's who deserves you much more than I do. I just don't get it… How can I obtain something I don't even deserve?" he sobbed weakly and buried his face in his hands.

Roy kept stroking his hair. "Shh… don't act stupid. You deserve me, you need me much more than any other kid. And the things you've done in the past… the things you've lost… Maybe I'm the one who you got as compensation."

Ed let his hands slowly move his hair behind his neck. He didn't face Roy.

_He just needs time to think about it. He needs time to let him get used to the idea… he hasn't gotten used to a happy life. This is his reaction in it._

He got up. "I'll bring you water."

"Like you always do."

"That's right. After crying it's good to drink something. And water is the best choice in my opinion." He smiled and left the door open so Ed could hear his movements in the other rooms.

He walked calmly to the kitchen and poured some water to the glass. The clear liquid undulated in the glass that was in Roy's almost, but still not quite steady hand. It reminded him about the river in Resembool. He smiled and started heading back in the room.

_I can't take the fight away from him, but I can face it with him._

When he came back Ed was searching for something from his suitcase. Clothes were all around the room, and Ed was half-buried in the still remaining stuff in the suitcase.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he laid the glass on Ed's night table.

"Searching", Ed answered shortly still flinging stuff away from the brown suitcase.

"Searching for what?"

Ed bit his lip. "A photo. And a badge." He lifted a picture that had gone through a lot and laid it on the table next to the glass. Then he continued searching. Roy lifted the picture. It seemed really old, there was Alphonse, Edward, Hohenheim and a woman that Roy presumed to be they boy's mother standing in front of a beautiful but still pretty simple two storey house.

"Here…" he lifted a golden badge with an engraving. It was a decorative E.

_Must be something related to his family._

Roy took the glass and handed it over to Ed who took it gratefully.

"Thanks."

"Don't you worry about it. Tomorrow I'll get you three tickets back to Resembool and I'll figure a way to get your father's body with you as well. Do you need something else?"

"No… thanks. I mean it."

"I know you do. Try to get some sleep."

"I will."

With that Roy left the room. He stopped for a few seconds before deciding to leave Ed's room's door open. Then he walked in his own room and left the door open as well.

* * *

Next morning Ed woke up, feeling someone's hand holding his hand lightly. He opened his eyes.

"Good morning", Roy said smiling.

Ed stretched but stopped quickly with a lamentation. His leg didn't like it.

"Morning… damn leg. Can you hand me the crutches?" he groaned.

Roy smirked. "And now you volunteer to use them? Just yesterday you snarled the way I thought I should tie you up on them." He handed the crutches over to grinning Ed.

"Well, I changed my mind. It's hard to walk without them without feeling severe pain. I'd rather jump around with them like a crazy rabbit." He got up and placed his arms comfortably. After that he took a hesitant frisk forward. "God, these are so stupid. I can't wait to get rid of them."

Roy stood up and tapped Ed on his shoulder. The boy who wasn't expecting it fell over with a loud rumbling. He scream choked on the clothes on the floor that he fell on. Roy lifted the boy up from his armpits.

"Sorry, I didn't expect you to fall over. Are you alright?"

_I should be more careful…! That can't happen again, it must've hurt._

Ed's face showed a pained grimace. "It feels like I just broke it again. Ghh… can you get me some pain pills..?"

"You can't take too many of them."

"I haven't taken any today! I just woke up! So hand me a bloody pain pill before your going to need one for yourself! And I'm not kidding!"

"Alright, alright. Let's get you to the kitchen, then I'll bring you one." He gave the walking sticks back to Ed who started jumping with their support out of the room. It was a pretty funny sight and it took Roy all his willpower not to fall to the floor himself and start laughing so hard that it would hurt. Because he knew that if he'd do it, he would have a funeral for himself. And two kids would be left orphans again.

He left Ed heading to the kitchen where Alphonse was waiting for him and headed to the bathroom to get the pain pills Ed wanted.

Ed flopped on his chair in the kitchen. He pulled his hair back on a tie to the middle of his occiput. It was pretty much the only way he could keep his hair on a tie anymore, though his slippery front hair still didn't want to be tied up, so it still laid freely. He pulled some of it behind his ears.

"Morning, Al. Can you give me something to eat?" he yawned as he laid his head on the table.

"Sure, brother. Do you want toast?"

"Anything should be fine. As long as there's not any milk, you know I hate that stuff…" Alphonse started preparing toasts to his hungry brother whose stomach just didn't seem to fill ever.

When Al gave his brother the first one Roy walked back with the medicine. Ed extended his hand but Roy acted like he didn't notice but just slowly took a glass of water before returning to the table towards a very impatient teenager.

Ed snarled. "Come on, Roy. My leg hurts and you still tease me? Though you produced most of this pain by yourself?" Roy shamed his attitude immediately and gave Ed the water and medicine what he took right after he got them. After that he started eating his toast.

_He's really grumpy when he's in pain. Have to keep that in mind._

After a while Ed relaxed. He stretched his arms, back and neck savouring and let out a small snort.

"Al, I think you'd better go to the library and return those books you borrowed because we're going back to Resembool to bury father." Alphonse turned quickly.

"Right now?"

"Well… sooner better. I want to leave as fast as I can. I just want to get over with it." Roy noticed some tense in his voice and thought about Hawkeye's words.

_He shouldn't feel like it was his fault. But I don't think I can have much influence in that, it's his mind and his mind is really complicated. And I might think the same if I were him._

"Roy, when do you think we can leave?" Alphonse's sorrowful and quiet voice pushed in his consciousness.

He startled. "Err… Well, if I remember correctly there's a train leaving in two hours. That's the first one today, so if you want to be as fast as you can, you'd better get in that one."

_It's a shame that they want to go that quickly. This should be the time of happiness after the adoption, but this is just rushing pain and grief. __But it's better for them to get through this quickly._

"Then we'll take that one. Can someone help me pack my stuff, they're pretty much all over my room…" Ed asked while blushing out of shame.

"I can do that. Alphonse, you'd better pack your own stuff and ask Winry to do the same. Then I'd suggest you quickly drop by the library to return your books and come back in here so we can go to the train station together."

"I'll do that. Take care of brother. Winryy! We're leaving!" He shouted as he walked in his room. Ed drank the water he had left and sighed.

"Then we'd better get started." He got up and waited for Roy to do the same and follow him to his room.

* * *

_I miss them already._

Roy was helping the kids to get their stuff on the train. The body was already in good care on another wagon. Ed sat down, lifting his right leg on the bench. He threw the last suitcase on the corner.

He ran his hand threw his hair that was wet because of sweat. "So… I guess we're ready then. I have to get to work, I'm already an half an hour late. Are you sure that you're going to be OK?"

Ed smiled at him. "Yeah. We're just fine. Are you going to be OK? Still alive when we get back?"

Roy smiled and hugged the boy tightly. "Yes. Promise me to keep out of trouble."

Ed hugged him back and rubbed his back. For even once it was this way. "I promise."

Roy got up and let out a nervous laugh. He hugged the other two kids as well. "I'll be waiting for you two to come back home. And Winry can also visit anytime she wants to."

He was already at the door when he heard a quiet voice behind him.

"I'm going to miss you."

He turned and saw a sadly smiling Ed.

"I'm going to miss you too", he answered and couldn't help but come back and fluff Ed's golden hair. "I can't wait until the next time I'm able to do that again."

A few minutes later the train left leaving a very sad colonel behind. A head came out of one of the windows.

"Keep your eyes open, we'll be back!" Ed was waiving. Roy laughed.

"PUT YOUR HEAD BACK IN, YOU DON'T WANT SOMETHING TO HIT IT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS!" He threaded the boy, still smiling. He could swear he heard a cheerful laugh when the head disappeared.

_So this is it… Now they're really gone for a while._

He sighed and lowered his head. He kicked a little rock out of his way as he started heading to the Head Quarters.

_I never really knew before what it was like to feel when kids leave home even for a while. And I know that this won't be the last time… but still. I just miss them so much.

* * *

_A few days later Ed was sitting on the ground, in front of two graves. The little funeral they had kept had ended a few hours ago and others had already headed back. But he had wanted to stay. Just for a while longer.

The sun was barely to be seen anymore, the sky was red, reminding him of all the blood from his past. All of his failures. All of his mistakes that he just couldn't leave behind. He buried his hand in the soft ground.

"I… I want to apologize. The both of you", he whispered as he brushed some sand away from his mother's gravestone's top.

"It was my fault. I've killed both of my parents. It's hard to bear… I may didn't kill you mum for the first time, but… but the transmutation… the biggest mistake of my life. And that says a lot." He laughed nervously without a happy tone.

"What a monster am I? I know if you'd be here, you'd support me, say it's not my fault, say that I didn't know. But it's entirely my own fault that you're not in here. I… I knew the risks. I'm supposed to believe what's told to me, what I've been warned about, I should keep my eyes also in my back now that I'm in the military because there are dangers everywhere." He took some flowers that were growing on his feet and laid them on top of the graves. His hands were shaking.

"I killed you. Both of you. And… I killed Al. I did kill him, it was my fault he was taken away. And then I just attached his soul in that armour. It was the least I could do for him. And it still doesn't feel to be enough. There are so many sins in my past, so many mistakes." A few tears fell on his thighs.

"How long can I bear with all of this? How long am I able to keep on living when I deserve death so much? I'll get punished for all I've done someday. I just… I wish I'm able to repay Al before it. That's pretty much the only thing that keeps me living. And Roy… he's trying to make me move on. I know you'd like him. Though you, dad, didn't seem that happy when you met him. But I think it was just jealousy, right?"

The red shade of the sky was gone, it was pitch dark. The raven sky above him reminded him about his new father that must've been missing him even now. He smiled sadly and wiped his tears away.

"I know you'd like me to stay a little longer, but Al will get worried if I won't go back soon. He always worries after me." He chuckled a little and stood up. After that he kissed both of the gravestones.

"Rest in peace mum, dad. I'll visit you again, I promise." His eyes focused on the half burned tree above a hill next to the graveyard.

He smiled sadly. "If you'll excuse me, I'd like to go home for a while." He took a few steps before he turned back.

"Oh, I almost forgot! Remember when you gave me this, dad? When I was little. You told me to take care of it. You said it was important to you. I'd want to give it back to you." He laid the golden badge on top of the flowers on the grave. "Well… bye."

He walked slowly to the hill and lied against the half burned tree that tangled his clothes, but the tangle wasn't easy seen because of the colour of his funeral clothes. He took a deep breath.

"It's good to be home."

He let the tree gently scratch his back and closed his eyes. For a while he could remember his home clearly. For a moment he could imagine that he still had his whole family around him in their lounge. He smiled.

"Well… I guess I'd better get back to the Rockbells. Al and they'll start worrying…" He left the hill and started heading back to Rockbell's apartment.

A tangled photograph laid on the roots of the black tree.

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Review! Do it! Now:DDD Pretty please?


	20. Come back home

I couldn't consentrate while writing this... so it sucks. But anyway, thanks for everyone who has reviewed!

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_**Chapter 20  
**__Come back home_

_It's been four days. Four long and quiet days._

Roy Mustang was sitting on his couch and stroking Fluke's fur gently. He sighed.

_It's a miracle how quiet here is. I didn't even remember it. And it's so empty.__ I think I'm getting lonely… __The boys were always so good company._

Fluke licked his hand and meowed loudly. Roy felt a smile across his lips. At least the kids had left him _some_ company. He fluffed the silky fur.

"Are you hungry, again?" he chirped and got up. Fluke meowed again and followed him as he walked to the kitchen, just to find the cat's bowl empty. "Just what I thought." He didn't drop his smile as he washed the bowls and filled them with food and fresh water. After that he sat down on one of his oak chairs and watched the kitten eat.

_I wish I'd see someone with even bigger appetite soon again.

* * *

_"You alright, brother?" a small voice asked behind him. He didn't look, but reached his hand behind towards the voice. He felt cool metal touching it and smiled faintly.

_I don't mind the metal, but it would be nice to feel a warm flesh hand. But someday I'll feel that again._

"Want to sit down with me?" he asked and saw Al from the corner of his eye sitting next to him on the terrace. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and faced Al for the first time that day. "So, what have you been doing?"

"Helping Winry and auntie. They're so busy with their automails and I wanted to do something without bothering you in the graveyard."

"You're not bothering me anywhere. Actually it's nicer when you're present." He watched a puffy cloud change its shape in the sky. It looked like a fish.

"Maybe. But some things are good to face alone." Ed looked back at his brother.

_Face alone..? What a weird idea. Usually people go on and on about facing everything together._

"Maybe that's right. I'm feeling a lot better… Maybe we should go back to Roy soon." He lied down and closed his eyes. "Somehow it's warmer in Central."

Al let out a nervous laugh and rested his head on his arms. "Yeah. And I miss Fluke as well."

Ed laughed feeling truly happy. It was like before. He and Al, chatting in Resembool and Al bringing cats in the conversation every time he got the chance. Maybe he missed that time. And maybe not. Maybe he missed the future. What an interesting thought, actually…

_In the future there's Roy and Al with his body. That's all I want right now._

He sat back up. "You think we should call Roy? We haven't heard anything about him in days."

"Yes! That would be nice. You'll let me talk as well, don't you?" Al asked doubtfully.

Ed smirked. "We'll see that then."

"That's not fun brother! Then I'm going to be the one talking at first!" Al yelled, got up and ran inside. Ed cursed and got up, grabbing his crutches and starting to jump forwards with their support.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! Running off like that when the other one has to jump around like a fool with these bloody sticks! Wait for me!"

* * *

The phone's lively ring reached Roy's ears. He got up and wandered to the phone, thinking who would call for him that late.

_Maybe there's another problem at work…_

"Colonel Roy Mustang on phone", he answered formally. His heart jumped when he heard a chuckle from the other side of the line.

"Well, good evening, Mr. Colonel. How's Fluke?"

"Fluke's doing just fine, he just ate. Though I think he misses you…" He stopped hearing faintly furious yelling from the phone. Though he didn't recognize the words, he thought he knew who was producing them.

"Be quiet, brother. I'm in the phone. Oh, Roy, we're planning leaving this place soon and coming back in there."

Roy smiled and lied back against the wall. "Now that's nice. It's been pretty boring alone in here."

"Haven't you taken the opportunity and hanged out more with Hughes and all?"

"No… Hughes is on a holiday with his family."

"Then why not anyone else? You still have a few days left, have fun during them."

_He's right… why is it that Al's always right? Maybe I should ask the crew to keep me some company now that the kids aren't on the way._

"Alright, I'll try to."

"Brother wants to talk to you. I'm going to hand the phone to him."

"No, wait a second Alphonse. I want to know if you're OK."

"I'm fine. And brother's better as well. Anything else?"

"I'll see you when you get back."

"You too. I'll give this to brother now, he's getting impatient." Roy heard some faint voices of the brothers. Then he heard a breath from the phone again.

"Hello Roy!"

"Well, hello Edward. Everything alright in there?"

"As alright as it can be right now. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. It's nice that you called."

"We just wanted to hear your voice. It's somehow calming."

"If you say so. So, you're planning to come back?"

"Yup. We'll get a train tomorrow or the day after it. It'll take us a while to come back, but I think you can handle it." Roy could sense some sarcasm in his voice.

"Of course I can. You don't have to hurry up because of me, take all the time you need."

"I'm not hurrying up because of you! I'm finished in here and I want to come home."

"That's nice to hear."

"Yeah. But it's late and I have to go."

"I understand. Thanks for calling. Sleep well."

"You too. Bye." Roy heard Ed hang up and sighed.

_Well… at least they brightened this evening up a little.

* * *

_Next morning was like all the ones he had had while the boys were gone. He got up, brushed his teeth, dressed up and walked to the office, grabbing take-out food and a coffee on the way. He managed to finish them just in time when he arrived to the Head Quarters and threw the rubbish to the bin. He said 'good morning' to some of the officers and sat down in his office to finish his paperwork pile for the day.

Hawkeye got up and sat down to the chair in front of his table after a few minutes. Roy raised his head.

"Was there something you wanted to talk about?" he asked confusedly.

"I just want to make sure you're alright. You've been doing your paperwork with no complaints for a good time now. Are you depressed?" she asked worryingly.

Roy smiled trying to relax her. "No. Just bored while the kids gone."

"You were complaining about paperwork even before those two."

"That's right. _Before._" He stated and took a new paper after putting the latest one to a pile on the floor. "Those two have changed my life a lot. I think I've settled down."

"So you're bored, huh? Not having enough company?"

"That's right. And that's the way it's going to be for a few days."

"You can have lunch with me. And you can call me every time you need company."

Roy raised his head and looked at her. The offer sounded very nice.

"Alright, if you leave your gun somewhere else while hanging out."

She smiled to him. "If that's what you want then I'll do it. But I'll take a few knifes."

* * *

"Thanks for letting us stay with you once again, auntie", Ed said smiling. "We appreciate it."

Pinako shook her head. "Don't you two worry about it. You can come here every time you feel like it."

"Thanks anyway. For everything. Is Al still upstairs?" he asked irritatingly.

"Yes. ALPHONSE!" Pinako yelled when she walked back in. Winry hugged Ed.

"Promise me to come back soon."

"I can't promise that. But if you want you can always visit us in Central. And you know that I won't get in problems because of this damn leg."

Winry laughed. "Actually I'm kind of happy that you broke it."

"What?! Are you crazy! How can someone be happy about it!"

"At least I know that you're not trying to get in troubles for a while."

Alphonse and Pinako arrived back to the front door. Ed smiled.

"What took you so long, Al? And are you able to take my luggage as well, I can't really carry them…"

"Sorry brother. I think I can put some of the suitcases in the armour, then I should be able to carry them all." Ed helped him put the suitcases in.

"Well… we'll see you again!" Al yelled as they started walking to the train station.

"That better be true!" Winry yelled back and made both of the boys laugh.

* * *

The days had passed by much faster when he had had company. Riza's mostly, but he had also hanged out with Havoc. He had had no idea what he would've missed if he wouldn't have hanged out with them. He had been in two parties with Havoc, there had been alcohol and a lot of drunken people, but still it had been pretty nice and fun. And he had had dinner with Riza almost every day and learned that there was a softer side under all the guns she carried with as well.

Riza had become a good friend of his. Almost like Hughes, but still not quite. Time with Hughes involved a lot of pictures and one-sided talking, time with Riza involved a lot of normal talking and beautiful parks and restaurants.

Roy was sitting in the train station, waiting for the boys' train to arrive. He couldn't wait until he could hug both of them again and cook for more than just one person. And hear Ed's movements from the other side of the wall while trying to sleep. Not hearing it had troubles his sleep.

"Waiting for the kids, I see", Riza said as she walked next to him. She had Black Hayate with her.

"Taking the dog out, I see", Roy answered smiling. It would still take over five minutes for the train to come and some company would be nice.

"Yes. Dogs need exercise. So soon you'll get back to the family business."

"I guess so. But I don't think the kids will need me all around the clock so I can still spend time with you and the others. It's good to have… adult company for a while as well. Dealing with kids can be nerve cracking at times. But it doesn't mean I don't like it."

"Of course it doesn't. Because I can see that you do." She smiled at him. "It's nice to have someone yelling at the office again. It makes the place more… lively."

Roy chuckled. "Sounds like Ed."

They heard the sound of a train. Roy smiled. "I guess my family is coming back home."

Riza nodded. "Yes. But I have to get going now. I'll see you tomorrow at the office."

Roy waved his hand. "See you later."

* * *

_Finally back… I'm sick with just sitting in the train._

"Hey, Al, I think we're arriving." He got up and took his crutches.

"Hmm… oh yes. Here's your coat."

"Thanks Al." The train stopped.

"Haa! Now, come on, let's get out of this train. My back hurts…" Al laughed.

"Impatient as always."

"That's the way I am."

They jumped off the train and started looking the people around them.

"Do you see Roy..?" Al asked. Ed spotted the man and pointed at him.

"There! Let's go", he said and started moving towards the man, Al right behind him.

Roy smiled as he took a few suitcases from Alphonse. "It's good to see you again."

"You too. Do you have any food? I'm starving", Ed stated.

"I guess we can do something about that when we get back home. The quicker you jump the quicker you get food."

Ed started spurting forward. "Try to catch me, do not fall behind!"

* * *

This is the WORST chapter I've written to this story. I apologize. My ideas are running out... if you have any good ideas for the story I would love to hear them. They would help a lot... Review!


	21. Someone who can't be replaced

Sorry for not updating but I had a friend over my place for several days so... Well you get it. And it's holiday so there might come some days that I can't find time to write a new chapter so I won't.

_This story might be coming to it's end. This isn't the last chapter but my ideas really are running out and thanks for my great advicers I realised that I have to end this someday. But I won't stop writing other fics! You can't get rid of me yet._

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.****

* * *

**

**A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 21  
**__Someone who can't be replaced_

_Ahh__… home! I think I've missed everything in here. My own comfortable bed and this clean scent. And Roy. Yes, Roy mostly._

Roy looked down at the teen that had closed his eyes after stepping in the apartment. "Why don't you go and put your stuff back in your rooms? I'll look if I can find something for you to eat… I'm sure there's some food left from yesterday…"

"OK! Come on, Al." The kids disappeared around the corner. Roy smiled and wandered to the kitchen. When he opened the fridge's door he heard the doorbell ringing. He took a bowl of spaghetti on the table and sighed after wandering back to the front door.

_Who decides to drop by at this time? It's already eight o'clock._

"Oh… hello Riza." A beautiful blonde woman, a little shorter than himself was standing behind the door.

She moved some of her hair behind her ears and smiled. "I forgot my jacket last night. I was supposed to get it back earlier but I forgot. Sorry, I hope I'm not disturbing anything…?"

Roy shook his head. "No, you can come hear anytime you want to. And yeah, I remember that jacket, I was supposed to bring it back to you but I forgot as well while cleaning the house up. It's right here. You can come in." Riza smiled and stepped in closing the door.

Roy walked to one of the closets and pulled a purple jacket out. He handed it to Riza.

"Thank you…" She blushed furiously as she leaned over and kissed the shocked colonel. Roy was absolutely out of it, he hadn't kissed anyone in such a long time… he hadn't thought about any woman in that way in such a long time. And never about Riza.

He heard someone behind him taking a deep breath and walking quickly away. With crutches. He separated their lips.

Riza took a few steps back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do it, I don't know what got into me-"

"No… don't worry about it. Can you wait for a second or are you busy…?"

"I can wait. I mean, I have time…"

"Good. Now can you wait a second?" Roy walked quickly to one of the rooms. The room that's door he had heard someone closing after the steps. Ed's room. He looked in hesitantly and saw the kid sitting on his bed, face blank.

"Ed…?" he asked, trying to bring the kid off of his thoughts. Ed looked up and smiled. Roy noticed there was something stiff in it.

"Oh, hey. I'm coming in a second, sorry, I just fell in my thoughts-"

Roy walked in and closed the door. He kneeled down next to Ed's bed.

"What?" Ed asked. Trying to act nothing had happened, or at least like he hadn't seen anything. Roy sighed.

"I know you saw Ed. Is something wrong in it?" Ed forced himself to smile even wider.

"Alright, I saw. Nothing wrong, I'm shocked that's all. Everything is just fine, don't you… don't worry about me."

Roy was hesitating. He knew the young teen wasn't telling the truth but he wasn't sure how deep he was allowed to dig in that field. Ed's eyes were a little wider than usual but the glow hadn't gone away. His hands were shaking as Roy took them in his hands.

"Will you tell me or not?" he asked quietly. Ed relaxed.

"No. Because it's not anything big that you should know." He looked at the ceiling. "It's good to know you're not forcing me to."

Roy got up. "At least not at the moment. But you know that you can tell me everything."

Ed got up as well. "I know, I know, I just don't feel like it right now. You're happy, right?"

Roy thought about it. "Yes, I guess. But I would want you to be happy as well, otherwise I can't be completely. Then something stays bugging me."

Ed leaped to the door. "Anyway, I'm hungry. Did you have something to eat?"

"Yes, there's some spaghetti on the table."

"Thanks." Then the boy was gone.

_It's bugging him more than he shows. I can tell it.

* * *

_Roy had gone out with Riza, saying something about a restaurant nearby. He had made Ed to promise to talk about his thoughts when he would get back, leaving him time to think about them. Ed was lying on the sofa, moving ices in his coke glass, a closed book on his stomach.

_I wonder when he's coming home. He said it won't take long. And now that I think about it I think I need to voice my opinion._

He put the glass on the floor and opened the book again, trying to read but understanding nothing he read because of not focusing. And when was the last time he couldn't concentrate? He had no idea.

_He'll be home soon. He promised and he never breaks his promises. That's something I've learned. That's something I like about him._

He rubbed his eyes and whined silently. He was getting really tired. He raised his head and looked at the clock on the wall.

_Almost midnight. God, where is he? It can't take a long time anymore, right? Just a while more, I can manage that._

But as the hours passed he finally couldn't help but fall asleep.

* * *

"Brother? Why are you sleeping on the couch?"

_Is that Alphonse?_

Ed yawned and opened his eyes. "What?" Alphonse was standing next to him.

"I asked you why are you sleeping on the couch. Why are you not in your bed? Doesn't it hurt your neck to sleep like that? And you still have your braid on, god brother, you need to take better care of yourself."

Ed sat up. His neck really felt pretty stiff. "I was waiting for Roy… Apparently he got home later than I thought and didn't want to wake me up. Is he still sleeping?"

"Brother… He's not home."

Ed looked at his brother, not quite understanding. "What? But he promised to come back in a few hours, how can he not be home? Did something happen?" He found himself panicking and tried to get up but Al pushed him down again.

"Nothing is wrong, don't worry. He called earlier and said he spend the night with lieutenant Hawkeye, he said he already went to work."

Ed just lied there, his mind racing. It just didn't make any sense.

"But Al… He promised to come back. He promised, he said he wanted to talk with me."

"I'm sure he'll talk with you once he gets back. It can't be that important, right? I mean, nothing's happened. He apparently just wants to hear how are we doing and all that. I think it's nice that he has friends and spends time with adults as well." Ed looked at Al and remembered that he had forgotten to mention about the thing he saw last night. Somehow this just didn't feel the moment to bring it up.

"Yeah… apparently. But I'll go and take a bath. See you later Al." He started heading to the bathroom.

"But… but what about your breakfast?" Al yelled back at him.

* * *

"You going somewhere?"

Ed pulled his red coat on. "Yup. I want to go out for a while. I need some fresh air. And then I thought maybe dropping by and greeting everyone at the Head Quarters. You fine with it? Or do you want to come with?"

"Err… I'm in a really good part of a book right now…"

Ed smiled. "Alright. Then I'll see you later. It won't take more than several hours."

"Right… see you later brother!"

"Bye, Al." Ed closed the door and started heading to the nearest park where he liked to spend time. There were ducks usually, maybe he could buy a bread and feed them.

_I just don't get it… why did he promise to come home but didn't? Alright, now I'm being too hard for him. He's always kept his promises, he can break them once, right? Yeah. I should stop thinking about stuff like this and put still a little more trust in him. But also remember where the line goes._

He sat down on a bench and laid his head back, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. The sun was warming his face. He took his coat off.

"Hey, Edward!" Ed raised his head.

"Oh, Hughes. I thought you were on holiday?" He said as the man sat next to him.

"I came back early. Want to take a walk?" Hughes smiled and pulled Ed on his feet.

"…I guess a walk would be nice. But not too long. These crutches start hurting my hands." Ed laughed shortly. Hughes was already walking so he started leaping after him. "Hey, wait, I'm not that quick with these things!"

"So, how are you doing? Everything fine? Nothing shocking happened after the last time I talked to you?" Hughes asked when Ed reached him.

"Nothing interesting. You must've talked to Roy already anyway so you already know all that have happened to me."

"Have you told anyone about those kidnappers of yours?"

Ed froze. "…No…"

Hughes smiled. There was something wrong with his smile, it wasn't as warm as before. "Now that's good. You sure nobody knows except for you, Roy and your brother?"

"No, I'm not sure. But neither of them has mentioned me that they've told anyone. Is there something wrong? Did you find out what they were?"

They were on a dark alley. Hughes pulled him lightly against the wall. "Kind of."

"Kind of? So have you or not?"

"Do not talk that loud. Someone can hear", Hughes snarled.

Ed laughed. "Like who? Nobody ever walks on these streets, they're afraid of criminals that might be hiding from the police."

"Now that's good to know. Helps me a lot."

Ed raised his eyebrows. "What is it? You don't want anyone to hear our conversation and you dragged me away from the public place."

"You were in a car accident a while ago with Roy, am I right? It was your car?"

"Yeah… what's so interesting in it?"

"You were supposed to die." Hughes's voice sounded very dangerous. Ed backed away a little.

"Eh?" Then something pierced his back. He let out a loud cry and fell on his knees. He took a deep and scratchy breath and moved his hands on his stomach where a few long and dark… things were coming. He heard a disgusting voice as they disappeared, leaving his wounds open. His mouth was dripping blood. He coughed and it hurt like hell.

"Should we stay in here until he dies?" a female voice said behind him. He felt pretty light-headed. He looked pleadingly up to Hughes, but was shocked to find out that there wasn't Hughes. There was this palm-tree guy from before.

Envy grinned. "It's pretty disgusting to kill half-brother. It would be twice as disgusting to watch him bleed to death, so why won't we just go? He can't go far in that condition and this place sounds to be a very lonely and silent place to die."

Ed felt blood coming out of his stomach. He tried to wipe it away with his shaking hands.

"If you say so. Let's go and get the other ones as well. We can't have anyone knowing about us running around telling away our secrets."

Ed tried to get up but his hands didn't support him for long and he fell to the ground, on his stomach. The pain was taking over his body.

"…do…n't touch my… brother. Keep y-your hands… away… from th…ose two", he managed to say. Tears were running down his face. He didn't know how long he had time left.

"Sorry, brother. Can't help it. Bye." The two of them walked away.

Ed tried to crawl forward.

_I can't die in here now… I promised Al to get his body back! And I can't let those two kill them! I can't… I couldn't bear with myself…_

_I wonder what comes after death. If anything comes._

He buried his face on the cold ground, curling up and crying.

_Maybe I'll see mum and father again. And someday Roy and Al too.

* * *

_Riza was having her day off the work. It was pretty nice actually, not worrying about any paperwork or stuff like that. And she had had very fun with Roy last night. Yeah… that had been nice. She was just a little concerned about Ed's and Al's reactions.

She sighed as she sat down on the bench in a park. Nice, beautiful, blue sky and warm weather was all she could hope for as her day off.

There was a red coat on the bench. She was sure it was Ed's.

_That kid, always forgetting his stuff. I should return it to him… and maybe I should talk to him as well._

She got up. Had the teen went home or was he still out somewhere? She looked at the sandy ground and saw some marks that his crutches had left behind.

_I can follow those. I have all the day and during walking I can think about what I should say to him._

She threw the coat on her shoulder and started following the marks, wondering when she found out that they lead to a dark alley. She wasn't expecting that.

She heard someone cry.

Riza ran towards the voice but froze when she saw Edward lying in a pool of blood.

"…Edward!" she breathed and kneeled down to lift the kid up. Ed cried out of pain as she raised him on her lap.

"Edward… oh god, we need to get help!" She felt Ed moving his hands limply on her shoulder.

"Save… save them…"

"What?"

"It… It's too l-late for… me. Help… save… Roy… Al… please…"

She lifted started ripping Ed's jacket to make him bandages. "Don't be stupid Ed."

"You… save them… I can't survive anymore. I'm dying any minute." His eyes were turning ashy.

"They're fine. Just hang on, there's a hospital nearby-"

Ed coughed. He didn't have power over his body anymore. "You… you can't replace my mum. Tell… tell that to Roy. And… tell him… that I don't care anymore… I… I want him… to be h-…happy."

"HANG ON ED. Don't you dare to die in my arms!" She started running to the hospital.

"Save them… I'm… s-sorry… so sorry…"

"Hang on Ed."

"I can't…"

"You can. Nothing stops you, come on! Do it for Al." The hospital was only a few blocks away. She heard him taking a raspy breath.

"DON'T DIE IN MY ARMS EDWARD!"

* * *

Am I going to kill him? Njeh njeh, keep reading and find out.  
Review... and I appreciate everyone who gave me reviews and advices. Thank you.


	22. Steel can and toothpaste

Hello people, new chapter is up... NOW! Ha! A little action in this. It was actually pretty fun to write.

_And thanks to all of my awesome reviewers!_

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_**Chapter 22  
**__Steel can and toothpaste_

"Doctor! I need a doctor!" Riza yelled as she arrived in the hospital. Everyone was staring at her and the small-sized teen on her hands. Soon she was surrounded by doctors and Ed was taken away. She told everything she knew to one of the nurses.

"_Help… save… Roy… Al… please…"_

"Roy… Oh god, is he in danger?" she whispered and ran out of the building. She had already done all she could for Ed. Now it was time to check out if he had been serious about saving Roy and Al.

She lengthened her steps and ran faster than ever before.

_God, everything's just so complicated.

* * *

__I should drop by at home… I totally forgot last night. It was like before the kids. Ed must be mad. Yeah, I should go home and apologize._

Roy got up and stretched his arms. Paperwork almost paralyzes them… ughh. Though it isn't that bad while Riza on holiday. He grabbed his jacket what he had taken off because of the heat and walked out of his door.

"Hey Roy! How ya doing?"

_I know that voice… Maes._

He turned and smiled to his friend.

"I didn't expect you back before next Monday", he stated and hugged his friend. "Not that I'm complaining."

Maes laughed and tapped his shoulder. "But guess what? I have pretty interesting news… about Edward."

Roy raised his eyebrows. "What? Is it something I don't know already?"

Maes nodded. "Yup. If you knew, you wouldn't act like that. But I think it's better if we talk about it privately, so should we go in your office?"

"Sure… God, is it that big?"

"You have no idea", Hughes said with a toothy grin as he locked the door.

* * *

_I hope Ed was just hallucinating…_

Riza tried to open the door but found it locked. She kicked it furiously.

"Roy Mustang, you better open the door right now!" she yelled and kicked the door again. There were voices coming from his office but she couldn't hear properly. She took a few steps back and ran towards the door, kicking it as hard as she could. The door fell on the floor.

"Stay away Riza!" Roy yelled as he kicked some strange green-haired man in the head. "That's an order!"

She took her gun and pushed Roy away as she shot the enemy. "My duty is to protect you, you can't honestly expect me to just walk away!"

Roy snapped his fingers and set Envy on fire. "This guy just doesn't die. Damn it!"

"Then think about something else than trying to kill him! Bind him up!" She took her handcuffs and let Roy set Envy on fire again before jumping on him and locking his hands behind his back.

"That won't work, dear lady!" Envy said as he changed his form to a dog and the handcuffs fell off. Riza backed away and Roy kicked the dog against the wall. He transmuted back to himself.

"God, you're really pissing me off! I hate being hurt. Why can't you just die and follow your lovely little adopted son?!" he yelled as he took a knife and threw it towards Roy. He got out of the way.

"What are you talking about? If you've laid even your finger on him-!" He snarled and made Envy laugh.

"Not my finger. But don't worry, he should be dead by now. He can't survive for long in the shape we left him." Roy paled and Riza snapped her fingers before his eyes.

"Focus a little more! I took him in the hospital already!" she yelled and shot Envy again between his eyes.

"He's… in hospital condition? He's going to be alright… right?" Roy whispered.

Riza didn't really want to answer that question. She didn't know the answer. So she just went with slapping the Colonel back to the reality and shot Envy again.

"I'm starting to run out of bullets, so figure something out quickly! Al's in danger too, we don't have time!"

"Damn it! What have we done to deserve this hell?"

"Well, sometimes hell just wants to drop by and say hello! A little less cursing and a little more planning!" she yelled and avoided Envy's punch and kicked him in the stomach. Roy grabbed his hands.

"Let go of me!" Envy snarled and transmuted to a mouse. Roy smirked.

"Now that's nice. You don't know what I have in here, don't you?" he said as he took a steel can. Roy could swear the rat's eyes were almost dropping out as he crushed it in it and locked the can. "That should keep him for a while. It's too tough, he can't transmute to something that won't fit in there."

"Good. Then to your apartment, Al's in there, right?"

"Alphonse… god, let's hurry!" He put the can in his pocket.

* * *

The doorbell rang.

Alphonse got up and walked to the door. The doorbell rang again.

"A little patience in there! I'm coming", he muttered as he opened the door and saw a black-haired curvy woman standing on the other side of the door.

"Erm… can I help you?" he said hesitantly. The woman smiled.

"I was just wondering if I could use the phone… I have to make an urgent call and I don't have money so the ones on the streets won't work. Can I borrow yours?"

Al hesitated. Finally he opened the door. "Make it quick, I don't know how Roy will react if he finds out that I let a stranger in…" he muttered when the woman walked in and closed the door.

He turned and saw the woman's stretched fingers before his "armour eyes". If he would've had a normal body he swore he would've swallowed.

"I think it's time to face the truth and say hello to dead, Alphonse Elric."

* * *

Roy opened the door with his key, his hand shaking violently. When he heard the lock click he rushed in and scanned the room with his eyes.

Everything was out of place. His furniture was totally ruined, glass and porcelain fragments all over the floor. He heard something crashing upstairs.

"ALPHONSE!" he yelled and ran up with Riza.

Alphonse hit the woman in the head and kicked him to the wall. "What the heck are you just dropping by to kill me?"

"Alphonse back away from her! Run!" Roy yelled and Riza shot the woman.

"I'm sorry Roy, I didn't mean this mess to develop-"

"Go Alphonse! We'll take care of her!" Riza yelled and Roy set the woman on fire.

"I can't let you do all the work-", Al tried.

Roy kicked him out of the room and closed the door. Al sighed. "That wasn't nice."

He tried to think. The voices behind the door weren't helping. He wanted… no, he NEEDED to help. But how? The woman just didn't die. Was there any way to get her away? Lock her up? He walked in a circle. There just had to be a way…

Well, let's start with those fingers. There must be a way to prevent their expanding. But how? Ughh… Not working. His mind was empty. Maybe Ed would've known how but he wasn't there at the moment. God, where was his brother when he needed him?!

But wait… what if he was able to freeze the woman? All he needed was water. Yes, water. Where would he get water? Oh yeah, the sink! How could he be so stupid?! But only a little water wouldn't do the work that needed to be done. But if he was able to lure the woman in the bathroom… there was the tub. He just needed to fill in and draw the transmutation circle…

He ran to the bathroom to get everything ready. Now he just had to get the woman in the water.

* * *

Roy snapped his fingers but missed the target. He jumped behind the "once an easy chair" to avoid the deathly fingers. He heard Riza pulling the trigger but didn't hear the shot.

"I'M OUT OF BULLETS! Figure something out and do it quickly!" She yelled and avoided the fingers by herself as well. After that she jumped forwards and crushed the woman's skull on the floor. Roy could see blood on Riza's face. "We aren't going to last for long!"

"Well I'm out of ideas right now! Do you think I don't want to figure something out!?" Roy yelled back and tried to kick the woman who stood up and expanded her fingers again. Roy felt one touch his temple but managed to avoid being hurt worse than just having a little cut on his temple.

The door opened.

"Come on, you bitch!" Alphonse yelled, his wrist towards the woman. "You can't catch me! You can't kill me like you planned, can you? Come on, show me what you got!"

"ALPHONSE STAY OUT!" Roy bellowed.

"Is that all you got? Is that all? Come on, I can tell you're better than that! I'm just a fifteen-year old teen!" The fingers flew over his shoulder.

"Missed it! Ha!" he yelled and ran out of the room. Before Roy or Riza really realised what had happened the woman had gone after him.

"ALPHONSE, YOU IDIOT!" Roy yelled and ran after them.

Al opened the bathroom door and jumped in. He hid himself behind the door. The woman stepped in. Al pushed her in the tub before she even realised what had happened and put his hands on the circle he had drawn with toothpaste. The water turned to ice… and so did the woman's body freeze completely.

"Huh… Well that should keep her for a while…" he muttered. Roy and Riza ran in.

"What do you think you're doing!" Riza snapped at him. He looked at his feet.

"But I wanted to help! And I managed to do that, so can we forget it and move her somewhere where people can handle her?"

Roy waved his index finger. "This isn't over yet, Alphonse! We'll talk about this when we're ready. And now Riza, tell me everything. Where's Ed?"

"He… He's in the hospital. But we need to do something for those two before we can go in there."

"But he's alright? He's alive?"

She looked at her feet. "Well… at least he was…" Roy paled and Al stepped forward.

"What are you talking about? Ed just went out, he's fine, he…" Riza shook her head.

"You can go to the hospital. I'll clear things in here… I'll call to the military to get some armed people pick them up."

Roy hugged her. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Alphonse had already run off the room, maybe even out of the whole apartment. Roy ran after him. Then Riza remembered.

"Roy! Ed... Ed wanted me to tell you something."

Roy stopped and turned. She saw a tear on his cheek.

"He said that I can't replace his mother, but it doesn't matter as long as you're happy. Though he said it before he thought he was going to die, so… Well he just wanted me to tell you that."

Roy nodded. "Alright. Thanks. You know where the phone is, right?"

"Yes…"

"Well bye then." He continued running to the nearest hospital.

* * *

"Yes, I'm Alphonse Elric. I want to see my brother, Edward Elric. What happened? Is he OK?"

The nurse looked at him, hesitating. She remembered the whole issue with the young teen-ager. He had been the most shocking patient of the day. Seeing a blood covered boy wasn't something she saw every day.

"You can go and see him… but his condition is not good."

"What? What is it! Tell me, he's my brother, I need to know!"

She sighed and raised her head to face the armour. "You're brother's in a good care, but his wounds are very serious and it seems like they've gotten infected… We can't be sure if he's going to survive."

"Wh… What? Of course he is! He's going to pull through everything! Where is he? Is he awake?"

"No, he's unconscious. I'll show you his room. This way." She started walking.

_I feel like crying… God, I want to cry. But with this body I can't… I just want to cry._

_Be alright, brother… You can't die yet. You have the whole world waiting for you.

* * *

_The nights had never felt so long. They had felt long, yes, but… never like this. This night was like a living hell. Watching Ed in the hospital bed… All the needles, the breathing mask… This wasn't something a brother should go through. Or a father in that matter. No matter the genes.

They were both sitting next to Ed's bed, refusing to leave and get some sleep. Roy kept Ed's clammy hand on his own, Al didn't dare to touch him. Ed was like… a very thin piece of glass. Easy to be crushed…

"I just want to cry", Al whispered to Roy. They hadn't said anything in hours. Both had just been watching the sun's light coming from the window, trying to make Ed look healthy. Trying to keep them believing that everything was going to be alright.

Roy curled his other arm around Alphonse and hugged him lightly. He knew the boy couldn't feel it, but it was better than nothing. It was good to at least know being hugged… Know that someone cared about him. And that someone was worried about his brother as well.

"I can't live without him… I can't live without Ed. He's all I have left… All I have to believe in."

Roy knew it was hard for the kid. He knew that no matter how much he tried, he was never able to replace Al's brother. Especially if he would Ed… then he wouldn't even be sure how to move on by his own. He was willing to sacrifice his own life for the kids and now there he was: with a few bruises and cuts, nothing major and Ed lying seriously injured in the hospital bed. God, if he'd just went home last night… then maybe things would've gone differently. Maybe he would've taken the kids with him to work. Or maybe then they would've stayed together, without being burdened by knowing about his relationship with Riza maybe Ed would've wanted to spend less time on his own and more with Al. Maybe he wouldn't have gone out. At least not all by himself.

The minutes passed. Every minute was like an hour… no, more than an hour. Years, filled with memories of Ed. Roy remembered the night when he had first met the kids… god, they had been so little. At that time he would've never even imagined adopting them. Then they were just… kids. Now they weren't. Now they were his children… Young adults. Almost adults…

He rubbed Ed's hand softly. The doctors said that most likely he was going to survive, but they weren't able to promise anything. There was a chance that… that everything would fall apart. That all Roy had relayed on would vanish. He was sure that Alphonse wasn't going to keep on without his brother. No matter how much he would watch after him, try to protect him, the kid would vanish not so long after his brother too.

Why was there nothing he could do? He had received a call from Riza earlier, the military had taken the two… things in custody. And alchemists were fixing his home. Their home.

He just wished he was able to return in it someday with a happy family again.

The family which involved the two kids.

And maybe Riza as well…

Ed's hand flinched. Roy ran his fingers on the boy's cheek.

"Edward… are you awake?" he whispered. Alphonse had frozen, he was staring at his brother. Hoping he would be alright.

"Get the bloody doctor in here… I want medicine for this pain", Ed groaned, his eyelids stirring. Roy smiled and kissed the boy on his forehead.

"I will Ed."

* * *

Ughh... I was planning to kill Ed. But I didn't... I couldn't do it xDDD Weird, emotional me. Well, I guess you're happy with him being alive so no worries.

Review people! I just LOOOOOVE reviews.


	23. Without a rush, eh?

Alright people, I am TOTALLY LOST with how long this will go on. I don't know when I'll end it... it might take a looong time or it might come veeery soon. Sorry for that. I really don't know.

And thanks for reviewers! I appreciate everything and try to listen to your advices.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

**

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**A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 23  
**__Without a rush, eh?_

_Though he's already awake, I'm still so scared about him… I know he's doing better but seeing him like this still isn't fun at all. I don't even have heart to tease him. His bandages are just… so bloody. His skin is pale, reminding me about all the snow I've seen in the north and his eyes are tired and dark. Though there's still the sparkle of life in there… sparkle of love._

Edward grunted. His voice was still weak and shaky but he was able to talk like always. "You're being too quiet. I'm not sleeping, you know."

He smiled to the teen. "I guess I still haven't gotten used to seeing you like that."

Ed closed his eyes. "How is it that before, no matter in how big trouble I got myself, I didn't get in hospital condition _at least _without beating my opponent up much worse? Now I couldn't lay _a finger _on them, and here I am. Lucky that I even survived… God, I hate them. Once I get out, they'll be so dead." His hand curled in a fist. Roy sighed and opened it by rubbing it gently.

"I won't let you get near to those guys so just forget it. Take your time to heal."

Ed opened his eyes. "Did those bastards really attack Al?"

"Forget it for now. Relax." God, he wasn't even sure if Ed remembered how to relax while worrying about his brother. If anyone else, except for himself of course, was insulting Alphonse even the tiniest bit that person was having an angry fist on their face before they had had even time to realise what had happened. And usually the fist just happened to be the metal one.

Ed forced his hand away and raised his metal fist in the air. "You're telling me to relax? Sorry, I am NOT in the mood for it now."

_Sometimes he is pretty hard to handle. If Riza is going to become a family member, GOD AM I EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT!? Oh well. But she's going to have hard time with this little fellow in here.__ I'm glad he can't hear my thoughts, if he would've just heard that I wouldn't be sitting in here anymore, no matter in how bad condition he is._

"Roy, you alright?" He felt Ed taking his hand. He squeezed it tightly.

"I just want you to heal. And the fastest way you can achieve that goal is relaxing. Can you do it for me? For Al?"

Ed grunted again and closed his eyes. "You can be so annoying."

"Can you?"

"…Fine. Just get to work, you have 20 minutes left."

"WHAT!? I forgot! Oh god, I'm so tired-"

"Your own fault, I never told you not to sleep!"

Roy jumped up and grabbed his jacket. Luckily he still had him military-suit on. "See you later Ed! Al will be back in a second, he's just calling to Winry-"

"I know that already! Just go so you won't be late", Ed snarled. It was just so irritating when people seemed to forget that you've been present the whole time just because you were lying in the hospital bed. It was _them _that were forgetting thing, not him. He hadn't gotten a brain damage, damn it!

The door closed. Ed sighed.

_I guess I have to relax as I said… though I'm not in the mood for it at all. I just want to beat that guy up so he'll never see the sunrise again!

* * *

_"Brother, what are you doing?" Alphonse asked as he stepped in and saw his brother.

"I'm sick with this mask! I just want to get it out!" Ed said, fighting with his breathing mask. Al hurried to him and forced his hands away without even listening to Ed's complains.

"Stupid brother! Stupid, stupid, stubborn you! The doctors say you have to use it, so you will! If you want me to bring your books in here, stop that! Keep it on!"

"Al, I can breathe on my own! That's the reason I have lungs!" Ed bellowed.

"I don't care! Just listen to the orders and _obey_. I want to see you out of this place."

"_Do you think I_ _don't want to get out of this place!?_" he breathed, eyes narrowed.

Al sighed and sat down. "Of course not. But your attitude isn't helping it at all. Just rest."

"Why everyone wants me to rest? I'm not sleepy!"

"Your eyelids are stirring. You are sleepy."

"But I'm not in the mood for sleeping!"

"Just do it. You'll wake up again, it won't be that bad."

"Fine… Just stop staring at me while I'm trying to sleep. It gets on my nerves…" He closed his eyes and tried to relax. He indeed did feel pretty tired. Must've been because of the blood loss. A few minutes passed in silence. Ed's hand was twitching.

"Stop staring! You promised!" he snarled after a while. Al turned his chair.

"Better now?"

"A lot better. Thanks. I just hate it when people stare at me while I'm trying to sleep."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You can turn when I'm asleep."

* * *

_I hate__ this. I HATE this. Lunch break time I mean. Roy already dropped by, briefly, but then he went to get something to eat. And he's going to spend the rest of the break at home, sleeping. He said he fell asleep in the office four times… hehee. I would've wanted to see that. And Al is in the library… he said he'll look if he finds something for me to read. I'm just so sick with his romance novels… if he likes them, it's OK, but it DOESN'T, I repeat DOESN'T mean that I have to like them._

_So those are the reasons I'm stuck in here, all by myself, bored to death. Grr. I just hate this. All of this. The white walls, white blankets, the sterile smell… it makes me want to _puke_. Honestly. I wished I'd have just _something _to do. But no._

The door opened with a creaking sound and Riza stepped in. She had her military suit on.

She smiled sadly as she looked at him. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything…?"

Ed shook his head. "You're not. I'm bored to death, come in." He pointed at the chair on his left side. Riza sat down hesitantly. A minute passed in silence. Then Ed decided to open his mouth.

"Apparently you had something you wanted to talk with me."

Riza blinked a few times. "Oh… yeah."

"Just go on with it. I can't really beat you to death in this condition, no matter what it's about. No need to worry."

She laughed and straightened on her chair. "I was just thinking about what you said to me when I saved you."

Ed stared at her. "What? I can't really remember… my head was so blurry at that moment. I just remember some bits. I remember that I was lying on the ground and then you came. And then I remember saying something and next thing I remember is when I woke up in here."

"Oh. I didn't know that."

Ed stretched his neck. "Not many people know. Roy, Al and the doctor. I'm not even sure if the nurses know."

"Alright. But you said to me that I… that I couldn't replace your mother, no matter what." She looked straight in his widened eyes.

"Oh… I really did say that?"

"Yes. And I just… I wanted you to know that I am not trying to replace your mum because I know how important she is to you and that I can never ever be like her. You can… well, you can think about me as an aunt or something." She smiled softly. Ed stared for a while and then looked at his blanket covered feet.

"I… I guess that's OK. But… then you have to promise me something." He turned his glance back at Riza who seemed more relaxed now that she had said what she had been thinking about since the moment Ed had voiced his thoughts.

"Anything. Just tell me what it is."

"Do not rush with it. I don't want to end up in the middle of a battlefield and problems. Take it slowly."

She blushed remembering her night with Roy. "OK… I'll do that for now on." Ed looked at her blushing face.

"OK, I don't think I want to hear about the reason you're blushing. But please, do not rush." His eyes were pleading.

"We won't. I promise."

* * *

A week later Ed finally got out of the hospital. Roy looked after the teen all the time so he wasn't going to do something incredibly stupid like he always did, especially with a broken leg. He even woke up a few times during the nights, just to check him up. He was glad that nobody knew his habit. Especially not Ed, he would've punched him without any kind of hesitation.

Riza dropped by every now and then and Roy spend a lot of his free time with her. She was incredibly wise and charming woman, why hadn't he seen her like that before? All the women he had dated and this diamond had been all the time just in front of his eyes!

Ed and Al took his new relationship pretty well. Alphonse was happy for him, telling him to find his happiness and saying he had always seen it coming someday. Ed in the other way had relaxed a little bit and said that the fact that he was dating with her didn't mean she was trying to replace his mother and it seemed to calm him down. Though Roy could swear that he saw a little bit hesitation and nervousness on his face at times.

After a month passed, Ed got rid of his crutches. He couldn't strain his leg too much, which Roy and Al kept reminding him when all the time, especially at times Ed wanted to train his body.

"Come on, my body is in a horrible condition! If I want to be able to protect myself I need to train again, now that the crutches are gone it shouldn't be a problem!"

Roy sighed. "No, Ed. Just give it a month and I'll let you do whatever you can think of, but not getting in a big real fight, OK?"

Ed's eyes narrowed. "No way! I've already waited for _two months_! TWO MONTHS, you hear me?! You have no idea how hellish it has been! I want to do something now that I can!"

"Three weeks", Roy sighed.

"One week!" Ed bellowed with his loudest tune.

"TWO WEEKS, no less. That's the lowest I'm going to go. Then you can do ALMOST whatever you want. But it's your own fault if you break it again", Roy snarled back.

Ed exclaimed and fell to the couch, which had been luckily repaired like the rest of the house. "You're one of the most boring persons I've ever run to."

Roy fluffed his golden hair. "Two weeks will pass sooner than you think."

"Whatever…" Ed muttered as an answer.

After a few weeks he and Al were on full swing again, training Ed's body back to normal on his backyard. Roy sometimes joined them but after getting a nasty bruise from Ed's automail hand after Ed had tried to avoid Al's attack he had mostly let them train by themselves. He still sometimes took one of his kitchen chairs out and sat down to watch their play fights. They seemed like kids for even for a while.

And there he was again. The fresh autumn wind on his face, the sound of metal crashing against metal on the air. It was nice to have Ed in his cheerful mood again. Alive. Healthy. Unharmed. Though there were scars… scars from before and then those… those from the most recent attack from those two… things. Ed always wondered what got into him when he became incredibly soft and caring after seeing those scars.

"Hey Roy! I'm hungry, do we have something to eat?" Ed asked, waking him up from his thoughts.

"Oh… not now, but I can go and cook. It might take an hour but it's better than nothing."

"Alright… can I have an apple for now?"

"Fine. But only one, I won't let you fill your stomach with them after putting me cooking again. You'd better drink as well, your body needs liquid after all that fighting."

"It is not fighting! It is training. But now that you mentioned it I'm indeed pretty thirsty."

"Roy, have you seen my book? I was sure I left it in here…"

"Where are all the apples? Did you move them?"

"I was sure the book was in here, Roy, I swear-"

"I found the apples! Now, where have you put all the glasses?"

"SILENT FOR A WHILE, ONE AT TIME!" Roy yelled. "Alright, Al first, what were you asking again?"

"Have you seen the book I was reading, I was sure I left it in here, but-"

"I put it back inside. It's in your room, on your bed. So what was it with you Ed?" he yelled to the boy inside the house. Alphonse walked past him to his room.

"Nothing anymore, I found the glass." He could hear water running.

"Sometimes it's like a hell to live with you two…" he muttered as he walked to the kitchen and grabbed that day's newspaper.

"Your own choice", Ed muttered back drank a few glasses of water before disappearing in his room as well. Roy sighed, got up and walked to look what he had for cooking. Just after he had decided to make spaghetti the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it boys, don't bother", he yelled and walked to the door. He swore he heard Ed muttering something like "Yeah, like we would bother even if you asked us to." He shook his head as he opened the door.

"Oh! Hello Riza, I wasn't expecting you", he said smiling as he kissed her cheek. She smiled hesitantly.

"Err… Roy I really need to talk to you privately", she said.

"The kids aren't listening." Right after that Ed's door opened slightly so he would hear better all the secrets. Al hadn't bothered; he was stiffly right behind his own door. The magic words that made the boys listen had been said.

Riza shook her head. "No, Roy, I really need to talk to you alone. Can you come out for a while?"

"If that's what you want…" Roy said, Ed and Al cursing silently on their rooms. He closed the door.

"Come on, Al! Let's use the backdoor!" Ed said as the boys ran out and sneaked to listen to the adults around the corner. But what they heard was a door getting closed.

"Hey..! That's not fair!" Ed and Al saw the adults gone and tried to go back inside when they heard that door getting locked as well. "Arrrghhh! Do you have a key, Al?"

"No. What can be that serious that we can't listen? What if they left a window open or something?"

They heard faint but unrecognizable voices inside but none of the windows were open. Ed cursed and hit repeatedly his head on the wall.

* * *

"Hey, I didn't know they were listening…" Roy muttered as they sat on the kitchen chairs after Riza's "getting rid of the unwanted listeners" act.

"They're curious and their still kids in a way, so it was pretty obvious. But I really don't want them to hear about this now." She buried her face on her hands.

Roy stared. "What is it Riza?"

"Roy, I… I'm pregnant."

* * *

Thanks for the awesome reviewer who gave me that idea!

Review!


	24. The damage is done

That's right, people! New chapter up!

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. It would be ridiculously odd if I did.****

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 24  
**__The damage is done_

_No… No, no, no, this CAN'T be happening. This is a sick joke._

He laughed. "Pregnant, Riza? You're kidding, right, it just can't be, we haven't had-"

"Stop it. There was that one night about two months ago", she snarled. "When are you going to tell the kids?"

Roy froze. Oh god. Ed and Al. They wouldn't be taking the news pretty well… They had _promised_, not to rush. And now there was… A BABY? A baby of his own? Actually it wasn't that horrible idea… except for the fact that it was coming so soon. And he had to tell about it to two teen-agers.

He swallowed hard. "Tell… them? No idea…"

"Roy, you have to tell them. The longer you keep it in the angrier they will be. Especially Ed. He'll be angry enough anyway." She shrugged. "How did it come to this..?"

"Riza, those two trust me! Do you think I'm going to ruin everything by… by telling them!?"

Riza slammed her fists in the table. "Damn it, Roy, you can't keep it as a secret forever! I don't know when I'll start showing!" She sighed. "They're your responsibility. You have to tell them, they trust you to tell them everything."

Roy got up. "I know. But how? How will I tell them?"

She got up as well and took her purse from the floor. "I'm not saying you have to tell them right now. But the sooner, the better. You have to tell them Roy." She walked to the door. "And they'll start asking about it anyway right after I open this door."

"Riza, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's alright. We just have to accept it. I'll talk to you later… Bye." She opened the door and they found Alphonse and Edward, the latter a bruise on his forehead, standing right before the door.

"Why did you lock us out?!" Ed yelled. He looked pretty disappointed. Roy forced a smile on his face.

"Private talking, Ed. Come in, I'm going to make you that spaghetti…" he watched Riza walk away as the kids came back in and sat on the dinner table.

_When am I going to tell them? They won't be happy, that'll be sure. It would be nice to know their reactions before, but I guess that's impossible. But I hope they won't overreact._

Ed lifted his feet on the table. His socks were dirty from running out. "So what did you two talk about? You know that you can tell us everything."

_He looks so innocent. So peaceful but still determined. God, he has no idea what he's asking me to reveal._

"Private conversations are private. And feet down, wipe the table clean. There's a rag."

"Why is it that I have to tell everything but you can keep it all in…" Ed muttered while cleaning the table. Alphonse sighed.

Roy turned. "Don't be ridiculous Ed. You'll hear, just give me some time to think about it myself at first."

Ed threw the rag back on the table. "Fine. Whatever. Tell me when the food is ready." He walked back in his room. Roy heard him slamming the door shut… Hard.

"A little less slamming with the doors, Ed!" he yelled at the boy but received no answer. Alphonse got up as well.

"Don't care about him. I'll go reading." The armour disappeared behind the corner as well. Roy lowered his head.

_I don't know how to tell them… I just don't know.

* * *

__He's so adorable when he sleeps._

Roy hadn't gotten any sleep so he had decided to give up. Now he was sitting next to Ed's bed, looking at his peaceful sleep. He wasn't sure when he would be able to do that again. With Ed's most likely burning rage for the news once he would let them out… he wasn't sure if ever.

_I'm just so scared that he'll leave me. I'm just so scared that he'll go away. Even though I'm his legal guardian I don't know if I'm able to stop him. I don't want him to go… not again. I don't know if I can take it._

His hand was shaking as he caressed the young boy's face softly. His skin was so silky… especially under his chin. Ed growled quietly and tensed because of the contact but didn't wake up. Which was good, otherwise he didn't know how long it would take until he would be in the condition of telling the kids the truth.

_But he cares about me… right? He cares about me that much that he can't just walk away. He needs me. Right? __He's just a kid… Not for long but still… for me he will always be just a kid. No matter how old he is._

He noticed that Ed had managed to kick his blankets off of him and grunted. It was already autumn… it wasn't that warm. And now that he looked the teen closely he saw him shivering slightly. He sighed and pulled the blanket on him again, making sure it covered him properly.

_He's my child… As much as the one that is coming in…seven months? Something like that. Of course I've always wanted a child of my own, but he still matters. Right? He will still be the most important thing in my life. The one I'd die for._

As he felt a hot tear on his face, looking at the sleeping Ed he remembered one of their fights.

* * *

"_Sometimes when we talk, you tell me how much you care about me, how much you love me, how much I'm like a son to you, but your eyes aren't telling the same story! Your eyes are telling me how much you would love to get a son of your own, and then I wouldn't mean anything to you anymore! THEN I WOULD BE JUST A PIECE OF RUBBISH IN YOUR HOUSE, ALWAYS ON YOUR WAY, ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO ISN'T REAL!"

* * *

_"No… It isn't true", he whispered and buried his face in his hands. Ed groaned and turned against the wall, leaving his right leg straight by habit he had picked up while it was broken. Roy saw that the kid had forgotten to open his braid so he did it for him, carefully not to wake the teen up.

_You'll always be real… You'll always matter, Ed. You will. You're my son. No matter what happens, that won't change._

His face was wet and swollen. He wiped his tears away and stood up. He just couldn't bear watching the sleeping, innocent, trusting kid. He knew he was going to ruin their relationship at least for a while, if not even permanently, by telling the news to him. He closed the door and walked back in his room, carefully not to make too loud voices so Alphonse could hear him. He fell on his bed and felt tears running down his face again.

_And I'm supposed to be the strong one… Yeah, right.

* * *

_"What, he isn't up yet?" Ed asked worriedly his brother while eating bread. "But he has to go to work in twenty minutes, should we wake him up? Do you think he's sick?"

"I don't know Ed. I think we should at least wake him up and ask if he's OK…"

Ed finished his bread and got up. "Yeah. Come on, let's drag him out of his bed!" They hurried to the door and opened it carefully. The man was covered with his sheets and pillows. Alphonse opened the curtains and Roy growled.

"Get out, kids, I'm sleepy…" he snarled.

Ed jumped next to him on his bead. "Wake up, you have to get to work in twenty minutes, you don't have time to sleep anymore. You'll be late anyway."

"I'm not in the mood, go away Ed, the clock can't be more than 6…"

"It's 7.40. So get up!" He jumped on Roy. Roy screamed.

"Get out, Ed, that hurt!"

"Then get up! We'll go and make you some toast if you promise to be downstairs in a few minutes. Our car isn't in the driving condition so you have to walk. And you won't make it in time anyway, so prepare for your girlfriend shouting right at your face."

_Oh god… RIZA! She's so going to kill me, I haven't told the kids and I'm going to be late for work!_

"OK, I'll be downstairs in a minute, just get everything ready there." He jumped off his bed and started looking for his military uniform. Ed stared at him suspiciously on his bed before getting up.

"I think we better go, Al. Let's hurry." He grabbed his younger brother's right armour arm and dragged him out of the room.

"Can you make him the toasts, I was thinking of going to work with him, I haven't seen the guys in a while, so I have to go and dress up. Will you come too?"

"Yup. Be quick brother."

"Yeah. See you soon." He wandered on his room and pulled his usual clothing on and brushed his hair. He took a rubber band and walked back to the kitchen, braiding his hair on the way.

"We're coming with Roy!" he stated as he sat towards the man in hurry.

"What? Oh, today's not a good day Ed-"

"Why? You're always happy when I come with, what's wrong?" Ed asked hurt.

"I have to take care of some things, I'll see you at home when I get back, alright? I have something I need to talk to you about."

"But still, we wouldn't be bothering you in there if you're busy-"

"No Ed. Not today. Some other day, OK?" He felt ashamed for disappointing the kid again. That seemed to be the thing he had kept doing all the time lately. And it wasn't going to end just now.

"You're a bastard, you know that?" Ed snarled and walked back in his room. Alphonse who had been standing and listening to their conversation walked in his brother's room as well, trying to cool him up.

_And I made him angry, AGAIN. Brilliant. Just brilliant._

He sighed and walked out of the door, heading to work.

_Somehow I don't feel like working at all right now.

* * *

_"He's hiding something, Alphonse! Something that Riza told him yesterday, haven't you noticed how strange he's been acting after it?" Ed bellowed to his brother. Alphonse sighed.

"I know brother, but if it's important he'll tell it to us, just give him some time-"

"Does he give ME time to think about things? Does he? No, he doesn't Al! I'm sick of just wondering, I'm sick of just watching how it bothers him, I want to know what it is so I can… I don't know, make him feel better?" Ed complained loud and sat on his bed.

"I know brother. I want to know the reason as well, you're not the only one in here. But he said he wanted to talk to us about something this evening, so why don't we just wait?"

Ed grunted. "I guess that's all we can do. But I'm bored. Is there something we could do?"

"…Hey, there isn't much food in here anymore. What if we'd go to the store and buy more food?"

"I guess it isn't that bad. Let's just make sure it takes a long time."

"OK. Come on, brother. Let's go and check out what we need."

* * *

"I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION TO WHY YOU'RE SHOWING UP IN WORK THIS LATE!!!" Riza yelled at Roy right after he opened the door.

"I couldn't sleep well last night so when I finally fell asleep I slept too long. I'm sorry", he muttered and sat down on his chair, yawning.

Riza sighed. "Did you tell the kids?"

"…No. I couldn't. I'm planning to tell them tonight, but I'm not sure if I can do that."

"Why not? They trust you to tell them everything!" She tried desperately but Roy lifted his hand to silence the woman.

"Riza… just leave it already. I'll tell them."

She hugged him. "I know it's hard, especially when you have those two. But they're going to forgive you, you're their father."

"I wish I'd be able to believe that. You know… just watching them now makes my heart ache. They're going to hate me, I managed to break a promise again. Somehow all I can do right now seems to be disappointing those two. Especially Ed."

* * *

"I'm home…" he muttered as he opened the door. He found the kids in the lounge, Ed eating a massive bowl of chocolate ice cream.

"Hey Roy", he greeted him. "If you want ice cream, there's still one packet in the freezer. You can eat it if you want to."

Roy took a deep breath and sat next to Ed on the couch. Ed raised his eyebrows.

"Are you going to tell us what's bothering you or not?" he asked and put another spoon full of ice cream in his mouth. Roy hugged him.

"Jeez, Roy, whatever it is it can't be that bad. Let go of me", Ed managed to groan.

"Sorry. You're not going to like what I'm going to say. But at first I want to tell you that I love you, both of you. I really do and it's not going to change." Ed raised his eyebrows again but didn't say anything.

"I… Riza… she's… Well…" he tried but couldn't find the words.

Ed slapped him. "Back to the reality. Spit it out."

"We're having a baby."

The both boys froze. Ed blinked.

"Wh… WHAT!?" he breathed and backed away from Roy. "You… You were supposed to take it slowly!"

"I know Ed, I know, I didn't mean to but… Ed?" The boy had gotten up, face darkened, looking at his feet. He put the remaining ice cream on the table.

"…And that's all you have to say…?" he whispered. "You didn't mean to!?"

"Ed, I-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Ed bellowed and ran to his room.

Roy got up and rushed to Ed's door. "Please, Ed, open up… Please."

"Go away, you sick bastard. You sick, bloody bastard." Roy could hear a hint of crying in his voice.

"Ed, I'm going to open the door. OK?" He heard a slam of hands and the wall transmuted thinner, covering the space where Ed's door had once been. "Ed, come on…"

"How can you say 'come on' to me after that? I trusted you… you… YOU PROMISED, YOU BASTARD! You lying bastard!"

"Please Edward!" Roy begged, knowing it was useless.

"NO PLEASES! Just… just go away! I don't want to see you…or hear in that matter. Just stay away from me." Roy opened his mouth again but stopped when he felt a metal hand on his shoulder.

"You should just leave him alone", Alphonse whispered. Then he want to his room as well. Roy fell on his knees and started crying.

"GO TO YOUR OWN ROOM, YOU BASTARD, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR _YOU _WEEPING IN THERE!" Ed screamed and kicked the wall. Roy got up and walked out of his apartment.

_God… I love them so much. I just do. Al took it pretty well, he's disappointed, yes, but he wasn't yelling or anything… But Ed. God, I don't want to lose him._

He felt tears on his face. It felt like the most horrible moment of his life.

Later that evening when he got back to home he found the photographs that Hughes had taken while the adoption ripped into pieces on the table.

_I love you Ed. I really do,_ he thought as he collected the pieces in one little plastic bag and took them in his room.

* * *

Hahaa, I love drama. And big fights.

Review! And thanks for all the reviewers again, I just love to hear your opinions. I'll never get tired to hear them.


	25. Not quite working bait

Sorry that I got this up this late but I've been shopping... and I still had to write this. Actually I thought that I wouldn't manage to update today... be happy that I managed!

_**Chapter 25  
**__Not quite working bait_

_He hasn't eaten since then. He doesn't come out of his room when I'm home. He doesn't talk to me, if you don't count yelling when he gets really pissed off with me trying to talk to him. God, now he's being a lot more difficult than he should. I didn't ask for this._

"Something wrong, sir?" Riza asked as she laid a new pile of paperwork on his table. Roy sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Troubles at home, as you know. And more paperwork, just what I need", he whined.

Riza sat on the chair in front of his desk. "He still won't talk to you? Should I come and try to calm him down?" she asked hesitantly. Roy shook his head.

"Somehow I have a feeling that that would just make things worse. He trusted me and I failed again. This is my mistake to correct so I'm going to do it. He's just pissed of right now, it'll go away with time." He started browsing the papers. "It would be easier if I would have a way to get his thoughts in something else."

Riza got up. "I hope you'll find a way. I feel pretty bad about this."

"Mnnh", Roy mumbled and let his eyes wander on the papers. One hit his eyes. Not literally of course.

A new mission to someone… Someone had been alchemizing kids together… but god, that was impossible! No one had ever succeeded in human transmutation like that… The victims were like… human chimeras. In a way, but still not quite. Though this "murderer" hadn't succeeded making a living one… corpses had been found all around the city which was terrified. The only thing that could explain that transmutation was…

THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE.

"Wait, Riza… What do you say about this?" he asked.

* * *

Roy knocked Ed's wall, because the door was gone once again.

"Ed, I have something you want in here. Come out."

"Go away you fat-head. I'm not interested", he heard Ed snarling. He sighed.

"Yes you are, Ed, but I'm not letting you go before talking to you and making you understand how big deal this is."

"What is it about?"

"The philosopher's stone."

Al's room's door opened and Ed's room's door reappeared. Ed staggered out.

"Did you say something about the stone?" Alphonse asked excitedly. Roy lifted the papers up so the smaller, though older brother couldn't grab them away from his hand.

"Now, be good boys and I'll give them to you."

"What do you want, you bastard!?" Ed bellowed, jumping furiously trying to reach the papers.

"Stop it Edward. First you're going to eat. Proper food. Then I want to talk to you, no yelling, no swearing. This isn't something you should take lightly. I'm actually really thinking to give this case to an adult. Go."

"You-!"

"NOW EDWARD", Roy said loudly but calmly. The boy narrowed his eyes and walked to the kitchen, his little brother right after him.

_I really wouldn't want to give them something this dangerous, but they'll kill me if they ever find out that I had a lead and I never gave it to them._

"It's nine o'clock and nobody has cooked, so what the- …I mean what am I supposed to eat!" he heard Ed complaining loudly in the kitchen. He took his bag and threw take-out food on the table in front of Ed. "Oh."

"Alright, now I want you to eat. I'm not giving you any information about this before you've eaten the whole thing. And then I want to talk to you about this seriously without revealing the location so if we disagree in some points you can't run off."

He wasn't sure if Ed even listened while stuffing all the food in his mouth with an incredible speed.

"Ed, slow down or you're going be chocked", he sighed. Ed slowed down a little, glowering him angrily. Alphonse was motioning nervously on the chair next to Ed. When Ed finally finished Roy led the kids to the lounge. Ed crashed down on the couch, Al sitting down next to him gentler.

"Alright. Now act mature while we're discussing about this. I can still back off and give the case to someone else."

Ed straightened up. "You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't want us to be even more pissed off."

Roy waved his finger. "That's better than having to put up your funerals. This is really serious Edward." He looked in the kids eyes before continuing.

"There's this town, which's name I'm not revealing yet, where children are disappearing. The youngest so far has been 8 years old and oldest 12. But that won't say that you'll be safe. Especially while Ed's looking and acting like a ten year old-"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT EVEN A KIDNAPPER WOULD MESS HIM UP WITH A TEN YEAR OLD BRAT!"

"No yelling Edward. Let me go on. But these kids disappear and their corpses has been found, bound together in a same way as chimeras, though this isn't that easy considering that they're made of two _humans._ I don't find anything else that could explain such a difficult and impossible transmutation except for the philosopher's stone. The city is all messed up, polices wandering around it, parents keeping their children in or moving away of the town for a while."

"So this mission would be going in there and capturing this weirdo. And we could take the philosopher's stone if he had it?" Alphonse asked.

"Yes and no. If he has the philosopher's stone, you can't just take it like that with the military knowing. You have to get it so no one knows you have it. Nobody will listen to the murderer so don't care about him but make sure no one else knows. _No one. _And please… be careful. I don't want to lose you now."

"You're going to have a kid of your own, it wouldn't be that horrible", Ed mumbled. Roy slammed his hands on the table, making both of the teens jump slightly.

"You just don't get it Ed? Of course in a way I'm really happy getting a new child, but that child is not going to make me forget you two! You're my sons as much as that one is going to be!"

Ed stared. Roy could see a glimpse of shame but also still some jealousy. The boy's pride wasn't letting him let it go just now. But that was one of the reasons he was so attached to the kid.

"Edward… please. Forgive me."

"I can't forgive you just like that. You know it."

"Well at least believe me. You're still going to be my son. You still have a place in here, just as much as the new one is going to have." He placed his hand on his heart. God, he looked like an emotional freak.

"You're embarrassing me Roy. Put that hand down", Ed muttered while blushing. "So, are you going to give us the location?"

"Promise me not to do it hastily. Take it seriously… even more seriously than any other mission you've had so far. This one is dangerous, if something happens I'll never forgive myself."

Ed sulked on the couch for a while. Then he got up and hugged Roy.

"Don't be upset. It makes me feel horrible…" he muttered. Roy smiled.

"Promise me to come back unharmed, OK? Promise to return alive."

"We promise. Just give the damn location."

* * *

"Darx… What a weird name", Ed stated as they jumped off the train, taking the first look at the not so big city. The streets weren't extremely grounded, only a few kids with their parents was to be seen. The buildings were high and mostly made of wood. They walked through the streets.

"We should find some place to stay and call Roy", Al said.

"Al, we never call Roy during our missions?" Ed stared at his brother. "Anyway, I hope this isn't just another dead end. I really want to return you normal again."

"I want you to have your limbs back again."

"Al, how can you worry about two limbs of mine when you have _nothing _left? You're being ridiculous", Ed shook his head. Then he spotted an inn and pointed at it. "There's one. Come on."

Fifteen minutes later they opened their room's door and peeped in. Ed smiled.

"It's not that bad, you know." He caressed the old looking, but in good shape being furniture. "I like old stuff. Remind me about mum. She was always into it."

"Yeah. Remember all those plates she showed to every adult visitor?"

"The white ones with flower pictures? Roses and such… a little line of gold at the edge of the plate."

"Just those."

They smiled at the memory when Ed threw his suitcase on the corner and crashed down on the bed.

"OK, but to the mission. We have to find this… should we call him kidnapper or murderer?" Ed asked.

"Hmm… well he does kill them so I guess the murderer would fit him. So… he's after kids? I wonder if he'll change the city, I haven't seen any unguarded kids in here and there haven't been any witnesses."

"I don't know. If we use me as a bait, do you think he'll attack? I mean… I'm fifteen… am I too old?"

Al smirked. "But as the colonel said you can look a lot younger with your grumpy attitude and short appearance."

"ALPHONSE, DEAR BROTHER OF MINE, ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOUR BROTHER IS SHORT!?"

"Hey, it isn't always a negative thing! Especially in this situation. If I'll hide and follow you and you'll wander around 'alone' wouldn't this person come out?"

"… I guess. But My clothes aren't really childish."

"Get them off."

"WHAT!? ARE YOU TELLING ME TO WALK ON THE STREETS NAKED!?"

"No, you dumb! Strip to your underwear and I'll show you."

"Alphonse, you better have a good plan in your mind or…"

"Hey, there's no one else except for me in this room and I've seen you in your underwear more than once. Now, throw me your clothes."

Ed sulked while getting his clothes off and throwing them to Alphonse who was drawing a transmutation circle.

"You're transmuting them?" he asked curiously. Al nodded and laid his hands on the circle, unleashing a blue glow. Ed didn't close his eyes.

"Here. What do you say?" Al asked throwing them back to him. Ed studied them. A red-black striped T-shirt, black leather kneepants and a red loose wais length jacket. Ed sighed.

"I think it's the best we can do with these clothes. Though I'm going to shiver to death."

"Stop complaining and put them off. Let's go." Ed dressed up again. The clothes felt weird.

"I think I've gotten too used to my usual clothing."

"A little change is good for you. And you don't look that bad. A little kid."

"DON'T CALL ME LITTLE!" Ed punched his brother's helmet off.

"Ouch!"

* * *

Ed was sitting in an empty area on a bench. He was bored to death. All day he had been wandering around the city 'alone' but no sing of a kidnapper. Only people staring at him weirdly and worryingly. It was irritating. He felt someone tapping his shoulder and he jumped on his feet.

"Where are your parents? It's not safe for you to walk alone in here. There's a murderer on loose", a middle-aged man stated worryingly. Ed sighed.

"I can take care of myself, thanks for your concern."

"I'm not letting you just wander in here alone. Where are your parents?"

"Death. Happy? No one looking after me right now. You can go."

"Then you should come to my place so we can call to the police. It's not good to be just wandering in here alone."

"Jeez, leave me alone old man." Ed turned and started walking away. He felt air flowing familiarly behind him. Yes, this was just what he needed. He jumped on his hands and bounced back on his feet just when the man was trying to grab his hands and cover his mouth.

"Missed it!" he smirked and kicked the man on his stomach. "Al!"

Al ran from behind the corner and pinched the man against a wall. Ed clapped his hands and transmuted the wall to prison the man.

"Hey! You got totally wrong idea!" the man yelled.

"Oh, right? Then tell me, why were you trying to kidnap me?"

"Kids like you shouldn't be walking alone in the streets! I was trying to take you home and call the police. Orphans usually avoid the police to the very last state and I can't let you die because of that!" The man yelled. Ed blinked. The man's eyes told them he was telling the truth. Ed trembled.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN ATTACK ME! I'm here to catch the murderer and all you people do is kidnap me to get me to the hands of a police! Damn it!"

"Brother… I don't think we got the right guy. Let's let him go."

"Please… I have a family at home…"

"Hey, that's the line of someone who's almost getting killed! Do I look like a murderer to you!?" Ed screamed. Al sighed.

"Calm down Ed and release the man."

"Fine…" Ed clapped his hands and transmuted the wall back to the way it was. The man straightened up.

"I still don't think it's a good idea letting you kids run around in here."

"We're not just kids. Do not underestimate us." Ed snarled as he turned away. "Al, it's late. I'm sleepy, let's try again tomorrow."

"Yeah… bye!"

"Do not say 'bye' to a guy who just tried to kidnap me!"

"Sorry brother…"

* * *

Roy was drinking. He couldn't help it, just knowing where he had sent the kids made him worry to death. A little alcohol wouldn't hurt. He knew the kids wouldn't like it, but it didn't mean that he couldn't drink. He didn't like the kids' dangerous missions either, but it didn't mean that the kids didn't go on them anymore.

It was already morning, six o'clock to be exact. God, he hadn't been able to sleep tonight either. Riza wasn't going to like this. But he was just so worried. So fucking worried. The kids had called when they had arrived and Roy had made them promise to call every day. But no call so far again. Well, it wasn't a surprise actually, it was early. Ed was probably sleeping. And Al wasn't going to leave his brother alone in a place where they were. God, Roy would be surprised if the younger brother wasn't even trying to follow him to the bathroom, at least knocking the door after every five seconds. Ed must've been having a nightmarish time.

The newsletter fell in from the shutter on his door. He picked it up and read the headlines on the front page.

"_ANOTHER KIDNAP IN DARX. A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL GONE MISSING LAST EVENING"_

Roy quickly flipped to the right page and read the article. God, she had been seen last time near to the boys' inn.

_Call… please boys, call me and tell you're alright again.

* * *

_Poor Roy, worrying to hell. Review! And AGAIN I'm thanking the ones that are reviewed so far... THANK YOU!

It's strange how many people read but don't review. Show me your support! Revieeeww...!!!


	26. The philosopher's stone

This story is coming near to it's end. This isn't the last chapter, but there won't be too many left. I must say I'm proud. I've never written anything this long before. And all the reviews... over 200! I never thought I could get so many! I waited... mostly like... 30? God, I feel like a moron. Thank you so much, all the reviewers. People can review to this fic even 200 years afterwards. xDD It's never too late.

And over 20 chapters! Wow! How did I do it?!

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.****

* * *

****A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 26  
**__The philosopher's stone_

_What!? A kidnap near to our inn? Just a little after we gave up? Damn it! It could've been me… Now the suspect has one kid. He or she still needs one more. I got to be that one or that poor girl is going to die._

"Come on Alphonse. We need to get going, we have to make sure that I'll be the next victim", he yelled as he grabbed his jacket and opened the door. Alphonse rushed to reach him.

"Go NOWHERE without me, brother! _Nowhere_, understood? Not even a few steps! And… you changed your outfit back? Why?"

"Well, that girl was 14 years old. That means that being myself is going to be OK… Even if he's not planning to kidnap any older, because I can still look younger", he snarled. "Are we going still on with the last plan?"

"I can't come up with a better one, so yes. Unless if you have a better plan?"

"Nope. Let's go." He lengthened his steps and left Al behind him before stepping out of the inn and wandering around the city. There were polices everywhere, questioning people, trying to find leads to the girl. Other kids or teens in that matter except for himself and Al, but people didn't really consider him as a teen in that armour, except for those who were waiting for a train to arrive in the station to get them away. The city was anguish and it didn't lighten his mood at all.

"Hey kiddo, stop right there."

He turned and saw a police man walking to him. He blinked. "What is it?"

The man grabbed his wrist. "People on your age aren't allowed to wander on the streets alone. It's not only your life on line, it's also that girl's who has gotten herself kidnapped."

"Let go of me. Haven't you heard about military personnel taking a look at the case?"

"Yes, but I haven't seen any so far. I guess we have to take you to the police station and get someone to pick you up."

"Idiot! I'm from the military, release my hand and I'll show you. Trust me, if I just want I can destroy your career for not obeying me." The man let go of him, still looking suspicious. Ed showed him his silver watch. The man studied it.

"Wow, it looks real."

"Because it IS real. Haven't you ever heard of Edward Elric? Sixteen year old State Alchemist? Yes? Now that's me. So could you please let me go, this case is still unsolved." The man straightened up, bowed and handed his watch back to him.

"It's still not safe for you to wander in here alone. Why did they send someone that young?"

"Well, apparently they thought that I was the most able to solve the case. See you around." He waved his hand and continued walking.

* * *

"Any word of the kids?" Riza asked worryingly, noticing that Roy had been paralyzed, deep in his thoughts for an half an hour.

"No. Nothing. I hope they're alright. I mean… if they disappear, it won't be noticed that quickly because there's no one looking after them in there. But maybe they just forgot to call…" he rubbed his eyes. "It would be like them. Too into the case, forgetting the poor old Roy."

There was nothing Riza could really say after the last sentence without bursting out so she just walked out of the door, leaving 'the poor old Roy' to worry by himself.

* * *

Bloody kidnapper. No sings. Nothing at all. It was making Ed really furious. He just wanted to solve the case, get the philosopher's stone and return Al back to normal. But no, it seemed like this suspect wasn't cooperating.

He had walked everywhere where he hadn't found anyone, the darkest alleys, the abandoned building areas, but no. He felt like screaming "Here I am, come and get me you fucking asshole, I'm sick of this game!" but he was pretty sure that it would just make sure that he wasn't going to get kidnapped. So he bit his lip and kept walking.

That was the time he was turning around one corner that something hit his head behind it. Hard. He whined and fell to the ground, mind spinning, for the moment completely limp.

_Ughh… what just happened..?_

Someone was lifting him up… then he heard some… voices, he couldn't really recognize them, his head was so blurry. He fell to the ground, god it hurt. He closed his eyes and tried to focus again. It hurt his head like shit but finally he managed to open his eyes and take a look at the situation he was in.

Alright… there was this… scary guy. And at the moment, Al was beating him up furiously, the man pinned on the ground. He still couldn't quite understand what Alphonse was screaming but for now it didn't seem to matter considering that the words didn't seem to be meant for him. He sat up and grabbed his hurting head. He felt blood on his face.

_Great… just great. He almost broke my nose… He hit me right over my eyes._

He blinked a few times and forced himself to get up. He walked slowly to Al and the man, both not paying any attention to him and clapped his hands. He transmuted the ground to prison the man and grinned.

"That hurt you bastard…" he muttered. "Al get out of my way, don't kill the guy. We have to find the girl."

"Brother! Are you OK? Your face is covered with blood!"

"I'm OK, just a little light-headed. I think I got another concussion… But I'm fine. Back to the job…" His voice quieted down when a red flash caught his eye. He kneeled down to look at the most perfect sight he could, Al right next to him.

The small crimson coloured little stone, like crystal, glimmering slightly on the dark and dusty stone ground, slowly calling for them. Ed wasn't sure if he was just imaging or…

"Is it… Is it it?" he breathed. He was too afraid to touch the almighty object, finally on his reach. His body was trembling.

"I… I think it is", Al whispered. "It's… it's beautiful."

"You bloody kids, away from it! It's mine! Let me go, I have a job to finish!"

"SHUT UP!" the boys bellowed together, turning their heads to the man. Then right back to the stone. Ed reached his hand and slowly took the small object on his hand.

"We got it Al. We got it." The stone was surprisingly warm. He put it in his pocket. "But we'll get back to it later. Now let's finish this job quickly."

They turned back to the man. Ed kneeled down next to him. "Hello bastard. It's over for you, where's the girl?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on. Do I have to beat you up? Because if I have to, I will do it. Where's the girl you kidnapped last night?"

"Then you have to beat me to death and I'm still not telling anything."

"BLOODY HELL, JUST TELL US WHERE THE GIRL IS!" Ed hit the man's head. Al grabbed him and got him a little further away from the man.

"Don't do anything yet brother."

"What's going on in here?!" a bunch of police officers ran towards them. Ed recognized the one he had been arguing with.

"There's the kidnapper. We're trying to find out where the girl is", Ed snarled. Other officers went to question the man, still pinned down to the ground while the familiar officer rushed to them.

"God, you're face is all bloody."

"And you think I didn't already know that!?"

"Sorry. If you'll release the suspect we can take care of this case now. Are you sure it's him?"

"Well he said that I'd have to beat him to death and he still wouldn't reveal where the girl is and he tried to kidnap me and various other things, so yes, I'm sure."

"Brother, don't talk like that to police. I'm sorry officer, he's on a grumpy mood, must be the headache. You said if we release him, you'll take care of the rest? Are you sure?"

"Yes. But we can't do much if he's stuck in the ground, we're not alchemists."

Al nodded. "In that case I must warn you not to give him any chance to draw a transmutation circle. And you should contact the military, it can deal better with alchemists. I think we're going to take care of my brother's bruise. See you later officer. Now, Ed, release that guy."

Ed muttered something furiously when he clapped his hands and released the man. The officers grabbed him and put handcuffs on him immediately. He stepped forwards and hit the mans forehead with his automail. A nasty bruise came on view.

"Now we're even. Let's go Al." He grabbed his stunned brother and started dragging him away from the crowd. "Now we're going to plan how to get everything back."

* * *

"I think we should try to transmute it all at once. Your body and my limbs I mean. We don't want the power of the stone vanish with one big transmutation. I'd rather fail and disappear with you than let you disappear alone again", Ed muttered. They were back in the inn, sitting on their beds, throwing the philosopher's stone to each others while discussing. Nobody had ever told them to be gentle with something so great.

"Yup. Should we call Roy first? We forgot to do it at morning. And… well… if we fail, I think we should at least say… you know, good bye."

Ed lowered his head. "Even if it would be real goodbye with no hope at all… I wouldn't know what to say."

"…Me neither. But he'll be mad. He must already be. He's worried brother, we should call him."

"I don't know Al. I just… I don't know. I'm not in the mood of talking to him right now. I have nothing to say."

"Well you can say 'we solved the case, that guy is in hands of a police who should contact the military soon. Oh yeah, and they found the girl, she's just a little shaken up. She can leave the hospital and go home tomorrow.'"

Ed grabbed the stone that Al threw him again and sighed. "I don't know. It sounds so formal. And do you think he'll let me end the call with just that? What if we just… forget about it. If we succeed we can go back to him, right?"

"It's not fair for him brother."

"I don't care. He isn't fair for us always either so no matter."

"You're cruel."

"Sometimes. Now I'm not in the mood of calling, so let's go back to the transmutation." He threw the stone to Al.

"OK. So, together? Both at the same time?"

"Yup."

"I… I want to feel something again. Can we do it now?"

"In a hotel room? Are you crazy Al? Everyone would find out about it. We have to do it… somewhere else. Somewhere where the power of the transmutation won't threaten any other people's lives."

"Well, there's the rusty old building in the edge of the city. It was pretty empty area. And the building seemed to be long ago forgotten."

"Yeah, I remember that one… sounds good. Let's go, I want to see your smile."

* * *

_Still no word of the kids… DAMN IT! I told them to call me! I told them! Are they even alive anymore? Are they? Are they OK? GOD, I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS! I can't go on without knowing about them!_

Roy got up from his bed and wandered to the phone to call… again. To the inn the boys were staying. He'd been calling there the whole day and the kids were never in. _Never_. He was so pissed off! Hadn't he told the kids to CALL?!

_They'll be grounded once they get back. They'll be so god damn grounded._

"Darx's local inn. How may I help you?" a female voice said from the other end of the line.

"It's Colonel Roy Mustang again. Any sing of the Elrics?"

"…I'm sorry Colonel. They left a few minutes ago."

"So they're still alive? They're OK?"

"Yes, the other one has a nasty bruise on his forehead but they're alright. You don't have to worry about the kids anymore, Colonel. The kidnapper has been caught."

Roy breathed out of relief. "He is? When?"

"About an hour ago. I'll let the kids know that you called if it bothers you so much."

"Thank you. Tell them to call me immediately, no matter what time it is."

"Alright, sir. I'll tell them."

"Thank you…" He ended the call.

* * *

"It's ready Al."

The circle and all the markings in it were perfect. The boys were trembling out of excitement.

"You know… This might be the last time we're able to talk to each others. This can go horribly wrong. Nobody has tried anything like this before", he continued.

"Yeah. But I want to do it. Do you?"

"Yes. I want to do it. Do you think we should take the automail off before starting?"

Al stared at him for a while. Both of them were feeling very nervous. "…If you want to. I don't think it matters, because you'd still have the ports and there's no way I'm going to let you cut them off right now. But maybe it would be better to take them off, just in case."

"OK Al. Can you help a little…?" They fought with the automails for a while. They didn't come off.

"OK, I give up! Winry's too good with these! Let's let them be."

"Are you sure brother?"

"Yes. Let's just do this." He took the crimson stone out of his pocket and walked slowly to the edge of the transmutation circle.

"Al… I love you. I'd do anything for you."

"Same in here, brother."

They laid their hands, the philosopher's stone in Ed's left hand, to the circle. A yellow light rose.

Then they were taken away. Black hands covered him, he could hardly move.

"ALPHONSE! AL!" he screamed and struggled. His automail arm and leg were ripped away, ports going with them. He screamed and cried out of pain. "…Al..!"

The light was everywhere, it was almost blinding him. But he refused to close his eyes and let go. He fought against the arms and reached his hands in the direction his brother had disappeared.

"ALPHONSE!" He started crawling, he didn't even know how he did it, there wasn't any ground, to that direction and saw the source of bright yellow-white light. He tried to grab it and felt human arm in it. "…Al!?"

"He tried to pull his brother away from the light, finding his whole body. Then he felt his own arm and leg growing back. Painfully. He cried.

"…Brother?"

He bit his lip as his hand and leg, now grown back to the way they were supposed to be, felt like falling off again. He forced himself to grab his brother.

"Let's get out of here Al!"

"How!?"

"I don't know! Just… try to get out! Try to wake up!"

"WAKE UP!?"

"I DON'T KNOW AL, JUST ANYTHING!" He felt like something pulling him back to some other place. He refused to let go of Al. "COME WITH ME, AL!"

The flash of white light covered them and then there was black.

Ed opened his eyes and found himself back in the room where they had started the transmutation. He felt Al's wrist still on his hand. He looked to the direction.

"…Al…" he smiled and passed out.

* * *

Days passed by. Roy didn't even go to work anymore.

_No calls… NO CALLS! NOTHING! It was impossible, were the kids alright? Were they?_

He had kept calling to the inn, just to be disappointed by hearing the woman say that she hadn't seen the kids since that one night. He had called the police.

_Why is it that they haven't been found… why!?_

The phone rang. Roy jumped up and rushed to answer.

"Colonel Roy Mustang on phone." He closed his eyes.

_Please… PLEASE BE ED AND AL._

"Mustang sir, I'm police officer Block. You've made a notification about two disappeared boys, am I right?"

"Yes, have you found them? Are they OK?"

"We are not sure. A few hours ago we found two boys, about the ages you've said, golden haired. Both are pretty small."

"…Both are small? Eh?"

"As we said we're not sure if these kids are the one you're looking for. The kids are getting transferred to Central. There's just something weird in them."

"What is it?"

"Both have high fever, they've woken up a few times muttering something, nothing that we could understand. They suffer about… this is weird, but very serious physical exhaustion. It's like they've been running without sleeping at all for months. It's really weird."

"Really?"

"Yes. As we said, we're not sure if these are the boys you are looking for, but they should arrive to Central tomorrow. You should go and check them out and inform us are they the right ones or not."

"Thank you officer." He closed the phone once again.

_Could it be… could it be?_

_

* * *

_Thanks for all my reviewers. But you still have time to review, so DO IT! Thanks. :D


	27. Father and sons

**_THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE STORY! Yay! I DID IT!_** Thanks for all my supporters, it really meant a lot to me. It still does.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, and I don't want to because if I did it wouldn't be as good as it is.**

**

* * *

A FATHER THAT'S NEVER PRESENT**

_**Chapter 27  
**__Father and sons_

_Tomorrow I'll find out if they're the boys… Well, they were found in Darx, so it's most likely but… If it's them, what the hell happened? The officer talked like Al would've been just an ordinary boy. Ordinary. Not a soul in a suit of armour. I'm not sure if it's the kids, but if they found the philosopher's stone and succeeded bringing their bodies back I guess it's possible. But they still should've called me before they did anything! Stupid brats._

"Alright Roy, this is too much. You haven't worked properly in a week, I'm getting really frustrated. Enough is enough. Tomorrow you aren't going anywhere before those papers are finished", Riza stated angrily. "It isn't easy for me either, but this is getting ridiculous."

"Damn it Riza! You don't have two disappeared kids! I haven't heard about them in days! And I have to leave at five o'clock, then two boys, assumed as Ed and Al are arriving to Central hospital, I have to find out if it's them. I just have to." He looked at her pleadingly. Riza sighed.

"And what if they aren't? What are you going to do then?"

_Probably take the earliest train to Darx and go looking for them myself._

"I don't know. I just don't. I'm so worried, Riza, I just want to see the boys again. I need to know if they're alive. They have to be." He buried his face in his hands. "God, they must be Ed and Al."

Riza smiled sadly and rubbed his shoulders. "OK. Today you can leave at that time, but only if you take your work to the hospital and do it in there. And I'm coming with you to make sure you really do it."

Roy looked up. This wasn't Riza like at all.

"You're a good father. You really are. This kid is lucky to have you, and so are those two. I think I've became softer after… well, this."

Roy smiled at her. "Thank you Riza. For everything."

* * *

The seconds. The minutes. The _hours. _Everything was just so unfair. No father should go through anything like this. He had always ended up waiting to know if Ed was going to be alright. And now it wasn't only Ed, now it was Al as well. It was his sons. His dear sons. They hadn't even solved their fight yet completely. And now he wasn't sure about anything related to their well-being.

He and Riza walked in the hospital. There had been traffic so they were about fifteen minutes later than he had planned. Well, if the kids hadn't gotten stuck in the traffic as well, which shouldn't be so, because they were coming from the different direction that seemed to flow smoothly, they should be there already. Roy's hands were shaking and Riza was holding his hand lightly. Supporting him, no matter was she like a mother to the kids or not.

He cleared his throat nervously as he stopped one of the nurses that didn't seem to be in a hurry.

"Excuse me… Two teen-ager boys were supposed to arrive here about fifteen minutes ago. Golden hair, assumed as Edward and Alphonse Elric..?"

"Oh those weird boys. Yeah, they arrived about fifteen minutes ago. Are you Colonel Roy Mustang?" the nurse asked smiling and shaking his left hand that wasn't in Riza's hold.

"Yes. Can you show me their room so I can see if they are them or not?"

_Please, just be them. Be them. After all this waiting._

"Of course. Just follow me." The nurse started heading through white doors on pretty empty hallways. Roy looked around him nervously. He hated hospitals. Especially if it had something to do with the kids.

"Weird cases. Everyone in here is confused. They haven't woken up since yesterday, I heard. No wonder actually, they seem exhausted. The sleep is helping though, that's pretty much all we can do now." She opened one of the doors and led them in a room with two beds. "So, do they look familiar?"

Roy walked slowly to the nearest bed. The boy in it… well he wasn't sure. There was something familiar, long golden hair, a little darker shade than Edward's and some same facial features. Was it Alphonse? Could it be? He looked at the other bed. Edward was lying in it. Both boys unmoving. Both pale, dark circles under their eyes.

_Ed… Al!_

"Yes… I guess these are the boys. Thank you so much…" he muttered in shock of relief.

"Thanks for confirming their identity. I'll be going to clear the records and make a few calls." The nurse walked away. Roy ran his hand on Alphonse's face. Riza was staring at the boy right next to him.

"Do you think it really is Alphonse?" she whispered. Roy raised his shoulders and Riza walked to Ed and pulled his right arm on the blanket. It wasn't metal anymore.

"I can't believe it… I thought it was a doomed road", she said unbelievingly. Then she checked Ed's left leg as well. Flesh. Though she could see scars in the places the leg and arm were once cut off.

Roy got up and walked to Ed as well, slowly studying his new limbs.

"It's weird. All these scars… they must be from his life before. These are _his _limbs. They aren't new or anything, they really are his." Ed twitched and opened his eyes slightly, lips moving but no words were to be heard. Roy gently brushed his hair.

"It's me, Ed. It's Roy. You're alright", he whispered gently and hugged the boy. Ed's eyes focused on him briefly. He felt like melting.

"…A..l…" he moaned, his sentence hardly being heard.

"It's alright Ed, I'm not sure but that boy in the next bed might be Alphonse. You did it."

Ed's eyes lost focus but he didn't give up yet. He tried to lift himself up but he had energy hardly to even move his limbs. Roy helped him. Ed was so limp, it scared him. He looked at the next bed. A little smile rose on his lips.

"……Al." Then he fell asleep again. Roy laid him down gently. Taking a blue rubber band and tying his hair back.

Riza clapped her hands. "Well now you know that they're alright. To the paperwork!"

"Riza, you can't honestly-"

"Yes I can. Back to work, Colonel." Her voice was confident and hard and Roy, knowing Riza very well knew that there was no chance for him to win this argument.

* * *

The days passed by, Ed and Al waking up every now and then for a while. Roy was having hard time adjusting to Al's new body, he had already gotten so used to the big armour and now there was… a little kid. He couldn't really tell his exact high while just lying on the hospital bed. But it was something about Ed's.

The boys were getting better, their strength coming back. Both were too stubborn to give in to the sleep once they finally woke up. Roy always took his work to the hospital where he worked with it while the kids were sleeping. Which was almost all the time. But always when they, or at least one of them, woke up he was there to give support and comfort. He loved doing it. And Al… well, Alphonse seemed to love physical contact. He liked being hugged, his hair fluffed, his hand rubbed. Roy assumed it was because of being in armour for years and years, unable to feel everything. Had the boy already forgotten how it felt to be touched? He didn't know. Most likely.

"…Roy."

Roy raised his head from the paperwork and saw Ed looking at him.

"Where am I?" he asked. The boys had been mostly too tired to really talk, but now that they were getting their strength back he assumed he had a lot of questions.

"In Central's hospital. I thought you'd already figure that out." He smiled and put his work on the floor. Ed didn't smile.

"Why are you in here?" he whispered, feeling uneasy. Roy blinked.

"You're my sons and I care about you Ed. Of course I'm in here, I'll always be in here. You're never alone."

"I'm sorry."

The words came as a shock for him.

"There's nothing to be sorry for Ed."

"I… It wasn't right to yell to you. It wasn't right to be mad, it wasn't right not to call. I'm sorry, I remembered it all the time, I just didn't want to. I was being stupid. I'm sorry." The boy sniffed slightly, tears in his eyes. "How is it you still care about me? After everything I've done?"

Roy hugged him. "A father is always present, he's always there for you, no matter what you've done or what you haven't done. He's always present to love you and comfort you and tell it's OK. I guess we're just stupid that way, but we can't really help it."

Ed laughed sadly. "Then I guess sons exist to make fathers miserable. To make them worry and feel bad."

"Not only that. They also exist to make us proud. To give us something to work on, raising them up the right way. Something for us to protect and love."

"So you really care about us?"

"Yes Edward. I really care about you." The boy fell asleep, smiling warmly to him.

* * *

Some weeks later the boys had recovered. Roy assumed that the transmutation had used all their energy. Especially the part where they got back what was theirs. Bodies weren't supposed to just grow back to the way they were in a matter of few seconds. It wasn't the way it was supposed to be, human bodies grew slowly because they couldn't use all the energy that the body obtained.

Roy had gone shopping to get clothes for Alphonse. He had been found naked, well of course, the boy had just had the armour, no clothing. He had bought black jeans and a green T-shirt. The boy's eyes were interesting. Unlike his brother's pure golden eyes, his eyes were like… hot chocolate with a glimpse of gold.

The boys didn't unpack.

"We need to go to Risembool and meet Winry and aunt Pinako. Though I'm sure I'll get beaten up because I don't know where I lost the automails. I'm sure she would want them back but… oh well." Ed smiled and fluffed Al's hair. As soon as Al had been able to be awake for fifteen minutes he had takes scissors and cut his hair. Now he had pretty short front hair and the rest of his hair was about three inches over his shoulders while not being dragged up to a pony tail.

"Brother, you're ruining my hairstyle!" Al yelled annoyed and slapped him. "God, that felt good. Finally I felt what it's like to slap you. You have pretty soft skin you know, unlike Roy's. His skin is rougher. But it's actually pretty nice."

Ed sighed. "Al, aren't you now a little too obsessed with all these… long forgotten feelings?"

"Nope! Hey Roy, I want to eat something else than that bloody hospital food. Now I know why you always hated it Ed, it tastes like plastic…"

"Have you tasted plastic?" Ed asked curiously. Al blushed.

"Don't look at me like that…" he muttered and walked in his room. Ed chuckled.

* * *

God, Roy hated the train stations. They always meant that someone was leaving. Or many someones. Now it was the boys… once again.

Well, now at least they had solved everything. The boys were actually pretty excited about the baby. Al was always dragging on did they know was it going to be a girl or a boy. Well, of course they didn't know, god, Riza was on her third month!

The four of them were on the station saying good byes. Ed had resigned from the military. He wasn't a dog anymore, and Roy was actually pretty happy about it. Though it meant that Ed and Al weren't able to come in the Head Quarters that easily anymore. But at least they weren't on immediate danger anymore.

He hugged the boys.

"You better come back soon. You travel too much for my liking."

The boys smirked. Their smirks were so alike.

"I don't know how long we'll stay. We aren't busy with the stone anymore and Risembool is still our home in a way. We have family in there as well, waiting for us", Al said.

They got in the train. Riza was resting her head against his shoulder as he looked sadly at the train. Two heads popped out of one window.

"DON'T BE SAD ROY! WE'LL BE BACK IN A FEW WEEKS!" Ed yelled.

"HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU NOT TO PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE WINDOW LIKE THAT, YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE IT NOW THAT YOU GOT YOUR LIMBS BACK!" Roy yelled back furiously, but still smiling.

"THE TRAIN ISN'T MOVING YET, IDIOT!" both, Ed and Al screamed, which was a shock, knowing that Al wasn't a person to yell something like that most of time. Roy guessed it was the kids latest obsession: to say every word he knew with his real lips, just to know how it felt like. What a weirdo.

The train started moving.

"WELL IT IS NOW, HEADS BACK IN KIDS! AND YOU BETTER GET A TRAIN THAT GETS BACK BEFORE LUNCH TIME!"

The heads disappeared, leaving two hands waving for him. Roy felt like two pieces of him were in that train.

"Come Roy. Let's go home and have fun now that we have the house just for ourselves…" Riza smiled and kissed him. He smiled back.

"Sometimes it's fun when the kids are gone for a while."

_As long as they're coming back soon.

* * *

_**THERE IT IS! THE STORY IS FINISHED! My first story with more than one chapters that I've actually FINISHED! God, I'm proud. Thanks for reviewers. Without you I'd never been able to do it. God, how am I able to live without writing this anymore...**

**And a happy ending. Well, you know me, I'm an emotional freak so it would break my heart to write a sad ending.**

_And I think now I need to explain a few things:  
_**The philosopher's stone** disappeared because of the huge transmutation. All of it's power was needed to accomplish it.  
**Ed and Al were found **because Roy had contacted the police which had started looking for the two boys. Though it took them a few days to find them.

Remember that it's never too late to review.


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